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stepson wants to live with us?

bttrflyprnc7bttrflyprnc7 member
in Blended Families
my stepson is going to be 12 in October, and he really wants to live with us. what can be done to get the switch with not alot of money? do any of you know what is involved in this process?
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Re: stepson wants to live with us?

  • hopankahopanka member
    For NOT a lot of money?....his mom would have to agree to it.
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  • Mkherren12Mkherren12 member
    I agree either mom agrees or you go to court. Mom might agree to a 3 or 6 month trial period. Leave everything like it is but have ss with you. If it works then make it legal.
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  • WahooWahoo member
    Why does he want the switch?  I don't think children should be the ones to decide, especially a 12-yo (yes, their input is important, but children should not be allowed to switch homes whenever they feel like it).

    What is different from your home?  Is it in a better school district?  Is your SS having problems at his current school?  Is your home more stable?   Is mom not around to take SS to extra-curricular activities?  Does SS not get along with someone in mom's house (boyfriend, step-sibling)?  Or is the reason something like "mom is too strict about homework, how late I go out, your house is more fun etc.?"  

    If you are in the same school district, or close enough to drive him, maybe you can try a switch for a few months.  If everything is working out, then get the court involved to make the change official.
    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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  • amieeyoungamieeyoung member
    Wahoo said:
    Why does he want the switch?  I don't think children should be the ones to decide, especially a 12-yo (yes, their input is important, but children should not be allowed to switch homes whenever they feel like it).

    What is different from your home?  Is it in a better school district?  Is your SS having problems at his current school?  Is your home more stable?   Is mom not around to take SS to extra-curricular activities?  Does SS not get along with someone in mom's house (boyfriend, step-sibling)?  Or is the reason something like "mom is too strict about homework, how late I go out, your house is more fun etc.?"  

    If you are in the same school district, or close enough to drive him, maybe you can try a switch for a few months.  If everything is working out, then get the court involved to make the change official.
    This... I've seen many a teen and pre teen switch homes b/c one was less strict or they got made at mom/dad and didn't think it through and then feel bad later. Find out why, and before switch suggest a trial period. I think at some point my son (prob around that age of 12-3) will want more time with his dad and figure we'll end up with a more 50/50. Perhaps that is an option?
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