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Tough Decision. Am I a bad mom if we go?

Meg&AustinMeg&Austin member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

So we have a destination wedding that I am in in Cancun the beginning of October for a week. The original plan was to take DD She will be 5 months September 26th. So about 5 1/2 months while we are there. She is EBF which is why I haven't considered leaving her. My mom and step dad and my husbands mom are starting to make me feel guilty for taking her. Should I, is it a bad idea? I know it wont be too much of a vacation and sometimes we will have to go to the room for naps, when its too hott out etc. Which I am perfectly okay with. Heck id love to spend a week off work with my girl even if it was sitting at home. I feel like id rather do that than leave my baby. I cry thinking of just leaving her for a night. We have a protective tent. Stroller fan, another battery powered fan, swimways floaty with sunshade so its not like I am stupid and will have her in the sun all day. Dont have to worry about water since she is EBF.



So now I am contemplating leaving her or not going. What would any of you mommy's do.

Any tips if we do go for anyone with experience?
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Re: Tough Decision. Am I a bad mom if we go?

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    Salsera29Salsera29 member
    edited September 2014
    I'm a FTM too but I don't see the problem. You have obviously thought carefully about keeping your LO safe and confortable. My only hesitation would be the germs on the plane, but people fly with infants all the time. Personally I think you should do what you want and tell your family members to mind their own business.


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    mtrhomegirlmtrhomegirl member
    First off i am not breastfeeding so that changes things but for me i would leave LO with my parents and have a great time with my hubby!!  Then again my LO spent the night with my parents when she was 4 weeks old so i obviously don't have any issues leaving her behind.  Don't get me wrong i miss her when she is gone overnight but i enjoy going out and spending time with hubby and friends.  At the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right for you and the baby!!!!  Good Luck:) 

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    Meg&AustinMeg&Austin member
    mtrhomegirl said:

    First off i am not breastfeeding so that changes things but for me i would leave LO with my parents and have a great time with my hubby!!  Then again my LO spent the night with my parents when she was 4 weeks old so i obviously don't have any issues leaving her behind.  Don't get me wrong i miss her when she is gone overnight but i enjoy going out and spending time with hubby and friends.  At the end of the day you have to do what you feel is right for you and the baby!!!!  Good Luck:) 

    Ya if I was formula feeding I would be more towards leaving her with my mom. But it's hard to want to pump so much when I could just take her and enjoy a week of work!
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    banks81banks81 member
    I combo FF/BF for the first 3 months and had no problem leaving my DD at 6 weeks for 2 nights and then again at 11 weeks for 1 night.  However, because we combo fed, I could pump during her FF at least once a day to build up a stash.  If you are set on feeding only breast milk, would you even be able to pump enough for her to have enough for the week you are gone?  If yes, then I would leave her at home.  But, as PP said, this a personal decision.  I would be more worried if I brought her and it sounds like you would be more worried if you didn't.
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    Meg&AustinMeg&Austin member
    banks81 said:

    I combo FF/BF for the first 3 months and had no problem leaving my DD at 6 weeks for 2 nights and then again at 11 weeks for 1 night.  However, because we combo fed, I could pump during her FF at least once a day to build up a stash.  If you are set on feeding only breast milk, would you even be able to pump enough for her to have enough for the week you are gone?  If yes, then I would leave her at home.  But, as PP said, this a personal decision.  I would be more worried if I brought her and it sounds like you would be more worried if you didn't.

    I have about 400 oz in my freezer right now so I think I'd have enough. But my biggest fear is I've been having a hard time responding to the pump all of a sudden with my 3 a day pumps at work. I fear losing my supply while I'm gone. Having been on these kinds of trips four times already I feel comfortable with the fact of her going but everyone questioning me and asking me to leave her with them makes me question my decision and parenting skills as a ftm.

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    JubilantSquirrelJubilantSquirrel member
    I say take her like you originally planned. Last time I was in Mexico there were a bunch of parents with babies there. They just hung out in the shaded area and played in the pool with their LOs. Take your DD and enjoy your vacation!

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    nicolemcmnicolemcm member
    Another vote for take the baby :)

    My concern would be maintaining supply while away. Then again, DS won't take a bottle, so this wouldn't even be an option for us.

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    bpatrick0809bpatrick0809 member
    Everyone is different I'm not leaving my baby over night with my mom 2 hours away anytime soon let alone out of the country! So do what you want to not what anyone else says!!
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    caballablancacaballablanca member
    Id lean towards taking baby, but you probably want to talk with your pedi about it. Mexico isn't exactly a first world country. Find out what you should do if you go to keep baby away from some of the icky germs that may not be common here.

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    Salsera29Salsera29 member
    caballablanca said:

    Id lean towards taking baby, but you probably want to talk with your pedi about it. Mexico isn't exactly a first world country. Find out what you should do if you go to keep baby away from some of the icky germs that may not be common here.

    Icky Mexican germs are in the water. Since she's EBFing, it shouldn't be a problem.


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    jannzonejannzone member
    another vote for taking your baby. you are the parent of your child not your ILs, i 2nd pp dont let them make u feel guilty for a decision you already made
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    DTNZ4EverDTNZ4Ever member
    We took DS1 to NC to a wedding when he was 5 months old. We had no issues. We of course asked the bride if it was ok and she was fine with it. We didn't stay as late as we would have at the wedding if we didn't have DS with us but it was fine.
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    HNRomanceHNRomance member
    It sounds like it would stress you out to much if  you left her and then you wouldn't enjoy the trip anyway. I would just take her but be on the lookout because it seems like plane trips with the pressure changes can lead to ear infection.
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    jfletcher3113jfletcher3113 member
    Why are they making you feel guilty for taking her? 

    If I were planning to take a vacation (I also EBF) I'd feel guilty for leaving her and I'd be worried about keeping my supply up being away for that long with no chance to reconnect. 

    My one recommendation is to check with the US Embassy and jot down the names/numbers of doctors recommended where you're going. They usually have a list of recommended physicians/hospitals. I did this when I went abroad while pregnant and it gave me great peace of mind. 


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    PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    I'd take her. As long as she's current on shots etc. ask your pedi because I know they always ask if I'm going out of the country etc.

    If it feels right to take her than listen to your gut.


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    Meg&AustinMeg&Austin member
    It does feel right and she will be going with us. Now I just have to let my flight fears go and enjoy ourselves! Thanks ladies! Started packing today it should be interesting...
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    amy41710amy41710 member
    I don't blame you for wanting to take her! I'm also EBF and I can't imagine leaving my LO for that long. You have to do whatever feels right and not feel guilty for it. Have a great time!
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    macbookmacbook member
    I would take her with you. Don't listen to other people putting pressure on you. I think you are a great mom for not wanting to leave your baby!
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