Sh%t toddlers say...

sooner1981 · September 2014

This afternoon, we were interviewing a new real estate agent. My babysitter left when I got home, so I was holding my son as I showed the agent around, while my daughter was drawing. All was (relatively) peaceful. We came out of the bedroom and moved into the kitchen, where my daughter was standing with her shirt off, my breast pump pressed against her stomach. She looks over at the agent and me, and says, "I make some tummy milk. I make a BIG cup for bubba! Yummy!"

The realtor:

deedee1017 · September 2014

I can't see the pic but I can only imagine! Lol

tashad18 · September 2014

I can't see the image but I am crying laughing right now.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

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1littlebird · September 2014

sooner1981 said:

This afternoon, we were interviewing a new real estate agent. My babysitter left when I got home, so I was holding my son as I showed the agent around, while my daughter was drawing. All was (relatively) peaceful. We came out of the bedroom and moved into the kitchen, where my daughter was standing with her shirt off, my breast pump pressed against her stomach. She looks over at the agent and me, and says, "I make some tummy milk. I make a BIG cup for bubba! Yummy!"

The realtor:

Laughing so hard right now!

mancila60 · September 2014

This happened a few months ago while on vacation. We were pushing Ethan in the stroller through a plane museum and this little boy maybe 3 or 4 came up. Him and his dad were talking and the boy made Ethan laugh which became a game. The dad asked nice general questions like how old is he, etc etc. they got ready to walk away and the dad told the boy to say bye so the boy looks at Ethan who is still laughing and says "stay on the boob". The dad is just like kids what can you say!

sooner1981 · September 2014

Our toddlers live such depressing lives. What with having to wait a few minutes for more oatmeal to be made or only getting to read preselected books at bedtimes.

Throw off your oppressors, little ones!!

PinkDahLia44 · September 2014

We visited my brother and his family this past weekend and they have a 5 yo. We haven't seen them much since she was 2, so she doesn't know us very well. The first night when she went to bed she gave everyone hugs and kisses and after she kissed DH (who has a short beard) she walked up to my brother a and said, "daddy, why doesn't that guy get rid of his scratchy face?" like we weren't even there. It was pretty funny. She eventually learned our names bc my brother made her, but she kept calling DH "auntie George." :P

NatesCupcake47 · September 2014

sooner1981 said:

This afternoon, we were interviewing a new real estate agent. My babysitter left when I got home, so I was holding my son as I showed the agent around, while my daughter was drawing. All was (relatively) peaceful. We came out of the bedroom and moved into the kitchen, where my daughter was standing with her shirt off, my breast pump pressed against her stomach. She looks over at the agent and me, and says, "I make some tummy milk. I make a BIG cup for bubba! Yummy!"

The realtor:

Hahahaha, priceless!

cassey910 · September 2014

So funny!!

Ballstategrad · September 2014

Me: I love your outfit, it's so creative! (Dd1 wearing a hot mess of patterns and colors)
Dd1: thanks. I just wear what I like. I can't help that I'm so fashionable.

mancila60 · September 2014

Same vacation while in the bathroom at the aquarium little boy in the stall next to me talking to him mom. Mom: are you done in there? Kid: you're going to have to come in here Mom: why? Kid: I don't think I can push this out, you need to come do it

Herefishy87 · September 2014

Ds1 likes to jump out of the truck once I unbuckle him from his car seat. I used to hold his hand and help him jump but lately he has been refusing and wants to jump by himself.
A few days ago he stand on the edge, claps his hands, than rubs them together and looks at me and says, mommy let's hope this works and jumps outta the truck!

O I have another one! I walked into the living room the other day and he is sitting on the couch without a shirt on trying to pull his nipple and get it into his mouth.
Me-what are you doing?
DS-trying to get my nipple
Me-uhh trying to get it to do what?
DS-trying to get it in my mouth so I can get milk
Me-you can't get milk out of your nipple, only mommies make milk that comes out of their nipples.
DS- *stops what he is doing* O ok. Can you get me my cup?

tashad18 · September 2014

When my oldest was around 4 or 5ish we were in a public restroom. I was in the stall and he was waiting just outside. Suddenly he goes, "mom what is taking so long? Are you on your period?" The lady next to me in the stall just lost it laughing.

SHAWNACPA · September 2014

These are all so funny!

Yesterday I was picking up A from my mom and they were all on the porch outside enjoying the weather; I sat in the rocking chair to talk for a minute. My nephew got this very confused look in his face, walked over to my foot and stuck his finger in the opening of my peep toe shoe. He then starts laughing and tells his mom "her shoe broke."

Edit - Grammer is hard before coffee.

catycate · September 2014

DS is newly obsessed with Frozen. When he first saw it, he wanted to play Elsa with her power, but he called it "white power!!" We were quick to tell him "no, it's snow power, SNOW!" That's not the kind of kids oops people would smile about.:/

bionicb · September 2014

When my cousin was three, he popped up with "my cereal is inconsequential. " one morning...

huntjul · September 2014

Connorsmama2006 said:

One day when I was picking DS1 up from preschool he says in his loudest voice, "My peepee is sticking to my balls".

DH and I were at another professor's house when her son came to her and said "mommy, my testicles hurt". DH's eyes about bugged out of his head, but my colleague just said "well, I teach anatomy, so of course I taught him the correct names" and went on like it was nothing.

Lee81 · September 2014

My two year old niece apparently got four shots today. She kept saying that her band aids hurt and she'd point to her legs and pout.

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