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October 2013 Moms
sooner1981
member
To all the O13-ers who are comparing milestones...
sooner1981
member
Hey guys--I just wanted to put this out there for whatever it is worth. It will be a novel. You have been warned.
Everyone always tells us that babies all develop at their own pace. And we all believe it at first and repeat it without really thinking about it.
And then, around 12-18 months, it gets a little scary for a lot of moms on these boards. Trust me--I know! We start reading all these stories about 11 month olds who can read Dr. Seuss and who have already worn out their first pair of shoes training for a baby marathon. And get emails from the what to expect websites telling us what our baby "should be" doing that week/month.
My daughter took her first steps at almost 15 months, which was late-ish, but still within the normal range. My husband wasn't concerned at all because she was cruising and seemed okay with physical stuff. But the boy who was also watched by our nanny every day started walking at 9 months. So, for more than five full months, he was walking (and running) around, while my daughter got frustrated because she couldn't catch him, yet she didn't want to let go and just walk already. Finally, she took her first step. And then some more. And now (at 2.5 years) she and her little friend are zooming all over the playground. She may not be the most graceful toddler in the world, but no one would be able to pick out what kid walked at 9 months and what kid walked at 14.5 months.
With the talking thing, it was even more concerning (to me--again, my husband was not concerned). I kept reading on my first BMB about all these super verbal babies. Obviously, it is fun to talk about super verbal babies, so there were lots of stories--and it seemed like that was all I was reading. My kiddo just barely, barely eeked by each checkup with pretty much exactly the minimum number of words necessary to not get referred for evaluation. She didn't say mama until 14 months (my son also isn't saying mama--they are apparently both all about daddy).
I could tell she understood a lot of what i was saying, But at two, she still hadn't said a single two-word phrase or sentence. Ever. Our pediatrician noted that at least two word sentences is the milestone for two years, but she wasn't worried because she clearly understood what was being said to her. She told me to give it a couple more months before being concerned. There were moms on my birth month board around the two year mark whose toddlers were speaking in 5-6 word sentences. They were laughing about these intricate stories their toddler was telling them.
I read to her All. The . Time. Talked and sang constantly. Why wasn't she talking???? You don't even want to know how often I annoyed my husband with questions about what we could possibly do to help her (his answer--"she is developing normally. Don't worry. We don't need to do anything differently. Seriously." Etc.)
Well, the night after her 2 year visit, I was changing clothes. She grabbed my shirt and said "no!! Me clothes!!" She then pulled my shirt over her head and ran out the closet door. I seriously cried. It was so nice to hear that two-word phrase. Even if it had to be a bratty terrible-two phrase!
She has continued to ramp it up verbally. Now, at 2.5, she is telling me little stories and telling me about her day. The pediatrician was totally blown away at her last checkup. All that time spent worrying is just time I can't get back now.
Tl:dr: Kids all develop so differently. All the stress I spent worrying about why my kid wasn't meeting the crazy feats I read about on my first BMB was wasted. It is not a competition. And there are all sorts of studies out there that show the age when kids hit milestones has little to do with their future aptitude in that area. This time around, I have made myself promise not to stress unless my husband (or pediatrician) tells me to pay attention to something. Otherwise, I am just enjoying everything as it happens. So, so much nicer to live life without that sick feeling that your kid is not measuring up to the AW posts on these boards. Just enjoy the ride!
----
Yeah, yeah. Lots of you aren't going to read this because it is too long. That's fine. I just thought I would put it out there in case there are other anxious mamas who are going through what I did last time around...
Everyone always tells us that babies all develop at their own pace. And we all believe it at first and repeat it without really thinking about it.
And then, around 12-18 months, it gets a little scary for a lot of moms on these boards. Trust me--I know! We start reading all these stories about 11 month olds who can read Dr. Seuss and who have already worn out their first pair of shoes training for a baby marathon. And get emails from the what to expect websites telling us what our baby "should be" doing that week/month.
My daughter took her first steps at almost 15 months, which was late-ish, but still within the normal range. My husband wasn't concerned at all because she was cruising and seemed okay with physical stuff. But the boy who was also watched by our nanny every day started walking at 9 months. So, for more than five full months, he was walking (and running) around, while my daughter got frustrated because she couldn't catch him, yet she didn't want to let go and just walk already. Finally, she took her first step. And then some more. And now (at 2.5 years) she and her little friend are zooming all over the playground. She may not be the most graceful toddler in the world, but no one would be able to pick out what kid walked at 9 months and what kid walked at 14.5 months.
With the talking thing, it was even more concerning (to me--again, my husband was not concerned). I kept reading on my first BMB about all these super verbal babies. Obviously, it is fun to talk about super verbal babies, so there were lots of stories--and it seemed like that was all I was reading. My kiddo just barely, barely eeked by each checkup with pretty much exactly the minimum number of words necessary to not get referred for evaluation. She didn't say mama until 14 months (my son also isn't saying mama--they are apparently both all about daddy).
I could tell she understood a lot of what i was saying, But at two, she still hadn't said a single two-word phrase or sentence. Ever. Our pediatrician noted that at least two word sentences is the milestone for two years, but she wasn't worried because she clearly understood what was being said to her. She told me to give it a couple more months before being concerned. There were moms on my birth month board around the two year mark whose toddlers were speaking in 5-6 word sentences. They were laughing about these intricate stories their toddler was telling them.
I read to her All. The . Time. Talked and sang constantly. Why wasn't she talking???? You don't even want to know how often I annoyed my husband with questions about what we could possibly do to help her (his answer--"she is developing normally. Don't worry. We don't need to do anything differently. Seriously." Etc.)
Well, the night after her 2 year visit, I was changing clothes. She grabbed my shirt and said "no!! Me clothes!!" She then pulled my shirt over her head and ran out the closet door. I seriously cried. It was so nice to hear that two-word phrase. Even if it had to be a bratty terrible-two phrase!
She has continued to ramp it up verbally. Now, at 2.5, she is telling me little stories and telling me about her day. The pediatrician was totally blown away at her last checkup. All that time spent worrying is just time I can't get back now.
Tl:dr: Kids all develop so differently. All the stress I spent worrying about why my kid wasn't meeting the crazy feats I read about on my first BMB was wasted. It is not a competition. And there are all sorts of studies out there that show the age when kids hit milestones has little to do with their future aptitude in that area. This time around, I have made myself promise not to stress unless my husband (or pediatrician) tells me to pay attention to something. Otherwise, I am just enjoying everything as it happens. So, so much nicer to live life without that sick feeling that your kid is not measuring up to the AW posts on these boards. Just enjoy the ride!
----
Yeah, yeah. Lots of you aren't going to read this because it is too long. That's fine. I just thought I would put it out there in case there are other anxious mamas who are going through what I did last time around...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: To all the O13-ers who are comparing milestones...
There is a wide range of normal. And there are so many therapies to address delays. But just silently freaking out while reading aw posts (which I did way too much of the first time around) accomplished nothing for me except to make me anxious. So, for me, it was just time to...let it go!
I tried so hard these last 11 months not to compare, but now that I know there is an issue it's getting harder not to compare, or at least get incredibly envious. That some parents are having experiences that I can't even envision possible at the moment.
Babies be crazy.
Your gymnastics story made me laugh a little because I was asked not to return to both my pre-school gymnastics class and my preschool ballet class (two different facilities). When all the other kids were lining up and following instructions, I was off in my own world and would get so engrossed in what another class was doing that I wouldn't realize that my class had moved on and left me behind. In kindergarten, my teacher let me sit on her spinning chair and I would give book reports while I spun around in circles. The teachers would tell my parents that I seemed to have no awareness of personal space or where my body was/how to use it appropriately to get what I needed/sit still when it was time to listen/etc. Somehow, that lack of focus faded away at some point and my parents don't have nearly as many funny "space cadet" moments from my later elementary school years...
We are going through this now with O. He has always been different, since he was 3 months old we knew something was up. I say if your Mom gut tells u something is wrong go with it. I agree kids do things at different rates and most of the time everything is fine. But if something is really nagging u it can't hurt to get evaluated.
@mancila60 Also being a preemie mom (30-weeker) it's hard to see comparisons and milestones. LO says dada but won't say mama at all. When I say where's mama, she'll point to a mama dog in her favorite book (which I'm also apparently reading wrong lol), so that's cool.
My DD's gross motor skills are very good, but language not so much. Doesn't consistently say any words, but she had mastered shaking her head 'no'. Go figure.