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May 2015 Moms
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Anyone else's DH/SO clueless?!

laur1020laur1020 member
in May 2015 Moms
I love my DH, but he is completely clueless. I read and show things to him that I've read about our baby's progress, etc. But whenever he sees me lying on the couch, he says "what's wrong with you?" I tell him "I'm nauseous and feel like I'm going to throw up". His response: "why?" And every time I tell him "because I'm PREGNANT!" I keep telling him most women feel this way, so it's normal. Ugh! Sorry...it just gets annoying!
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Re: Anyone else's DH/SO clueless?!

  • laur1020laur1020 member
    Thank you for your comments, Ladies! One of the good things about this message board, is that there's always at least one other person that has been in similar situations. Yes, @HilarityEnsued‌ this is our first baby. So maybe next time around DH will think twice before questioning me when I'm not feeling well!

    Btw, this nausea is for the birds! At first I only felt nauseous when I was hungry, but now it's really hitting hard! Looking forward to the second trimester!
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  • amsett3amsett3 member

    I think it's normal for guys to be clueless. With my first, he left for an 11 month deployment 10 days after we found out I was pregnant. He came home and I handed him a 10 week old. Second time around, he had no clue what pregnancy was like and wasn't super emotionally supportive. Even this time, he doesn't get the exhaustion and the nausea. BUT, he picks up the slack in areas where I really need him most. Like the dishes, and the kids baths, and making meals.

    Luckily he transforms into the Father of the Year once they're born. Otherwise I wouldn't put up with it, lol.

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  • MrsF0831MrsF0831 member
    Wow I guess I got lucky, I've been sick and spend my weekends on the couch and in bed. My dh doesn't question me he just feels bad theres nothing he can do to make me feel better.
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    TTC starting 8/2014 :)
    BFP 8/27/14  EDD 5/9/2015 9/25/2014 ITS TWINS!!! <3<3 
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  • lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member
    This is my third child, my DH's first. (other two from previous marriage)
    So yeah-- he is a bit clueless, but he gets the "new dad-to-be" card. ;)
    A conversation we had yesterday:

    Me: "God...I feel so nauseous all of a sudden."

    DH: "Why? I thought that happened when the baby was bigger in there. I don't get it."

    Me: "What do you mean you don't get it? There is something growing inside of me sucking up ALL of my nutrients!"
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  • chetasuchetasu member
    My DH keeps saying that I'm not "really pregnant yet" so my exhaustion is an exaggeration. I really think (hope) he's saving all of his helpfulness for when I'm really big and can barely move. Idk what's going on in his mind. But then yesterday I came home and he had cleaned up the dog'a accidents on the carpet, so...maybe they wait until we're not looking.

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  • Leslie2003Leslie2003 member
    The first time you open the fridge, and run to the bathroom to throw up, he'll get it.

    And if he asks again, just tell him that he asks one more time, you're throwing up on him.

    Works like a charm.


    Honestly, this is my 6th pregnancy (hopefully 3rd child),  and by the 5th pregnancy, he remembered how horrible the first trimester (plus a few weeks) can be.
    Me - 34
    Him - 35
    DS #1 (after IUI, IVFs/FET and miscarriages) Alexander, IVF# 4 w/PGD, b. 10.22.08
    DS #2 (natural pregnancy) Andrew, b. 9.15.11
    Currently Expecting #3 - lightening strikes twice - another Natural Pregnancy EDD 5.11.15
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    My DH didn't seem to be understanding the nausea thing either. He would offer me food that would turn my stomach despite my protests. He thought he was helping as I'd complain that I was hungry, but everything he offered just sounded awful. Then if I began to gag or dry heave, he'd "poke fun" at me by also gagging. We had a little chat about that one...

    Today I threw up for the first time this morning (and again this afternoon - but he doesn't know about that one yet). I think it was a bit of an "aha moment" for him. I came home from work to find our basement cleaned (we had friends over last night), he had tidied the kitchen, loaded and ran the dishwasher, and organized the dishes that couldn't go in the dishwasher. He must have been running around like a mad man after I left for work to get all this done before he had to leave the house.

    I can't guarantee this is all because of my morning sickness - but I think as some of the other posts have indicated, men are very "hands on" or "visual" people. Once he actually knew I was sick to my stomach and not just nauseous, I'm thinking he understood it a bit more.

    We'll see how the coming weeks are...

    And yes, I couldn't agree more. This nausea thing sucks. But I keep reminding myself that it's so going to be worth it in the end. And I've heard from a lot of people that nausea and vomiting is a fantastic sign in early pregnancy! My more intense nausea started at 6 weeks to do the day. Today is 7 weeks and the vomiting started. Hopefully that doesn't continue for long - or at least if I can do it at home and avoid work like I did today that will be better...
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