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January 2015 Moms
Toddlers & Technology
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Toddlers & Technology
The imagination of children is amazing
Definitely not reading. It was an angry birds racing thing I believe. I think he probably doesn't even know you can read on it
But seriously have a couple kids and u will want all the tools in your arsenal to occupy the little beasties when you do selfish shit. What did ppl in the old days do? Kept to the homestead and beat their children. No thanks I'll keeps iphone
It's entirely each parent's choice whether to own or not own a smart phone. Whether to let their kids use it or not, with or without limitations. But it's a big jump between the assumption that owning a smart phone instantly translates into not being able to prevent a child from throwing a tantrum because they don't get to play with an iPad (saving money and not needing it are fine reasons, but owning it doesn't mean your child will instantly be addicted).
Even without a smart phone, a child who is used to getting his or her own way will quickly learn that tantrums get them what they want. It might not be Mickey on the iPhone, but it might very well be their favorite snack - if a kid was crying for cookies all the time, would anyone really think it was a good idea to constantly give them access to the cookie jar just so they stop whining? Sometimes you simply have to draw limits.
And I think the argument that people didn't use to have phones so it couldn't possibly put the child at a disadvantage isn't entirely convincing. Each generation has access to progressively more complex technology, and being aware of how to use it is an advantage. People in their 50's who never learned how to type are at a disadvantage - people in their 20's and 30's are finding that familiarity with certain computer programs (Microsoft Office, for example) is essential to getting a job that they may want. I'm not saying that giving your toddler an iPhone is necessary or even beneficial to that, but blocking technology all together in the home simply because it "didn't used to be like that" isn't necessarily to anyone's advantage.
For what it's worth, my niece loves using an iPhone. She's 3 years old, and can take photos, edit them, send texts to me and her grandparents with the photos. She plays a few games, watches a few videos. But she also knows that she has to ASK for the phone, only gets it when Mom or Dad says so, and if she pouts about not getting it then she won't get it at all that week. Boundaries are key on anything.
Off birth control March 2012 - Actively trying Sept 2012-April 2014
BFP on May 5th after Follistim & IUI #3
I'm not a fan of any screen time before two years of age, but that's simply not feasible nowadays. My boys do not play with our phones (although they love looking through the photos, but I don't allow them often), they don't use computers or tablets, and they are occasionally allowed to watch a tv show (usually as a reward for something; maybe 2 hours/week, divided into two or three increments). We don't watch anything that jumps around from subject to subject because I want them to develop a good attention span (their favorites are Thomas the Train and Curious George), and we read storybooks often (multiple/daily).
All that being said, I am not opposed to children using technology because that is simply the world in which they are living. When they are a little older, we will absolutely use computers games, apps, etc that are educational.
Edited out the snark b/c it's just silly for me to go there. Sorry.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397312000445
https://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2013/10/29/228125739/what-to-know-about-babies-and-screen-time-kids-screens-electronics
https://www.pbs.org/parents/childrenandmedia/article-when-introduce-child-smartphone-tablet.html
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I don't know if anyone has noticed the name of the thread... TODDLERS & TECHNOLOGY. Not school aged children & technology. I'm saying I will not allow my TODDLER to use technology. Will she be allowed to watch tv? Yes, will she be allowed to watch tv on a handheld device? No. I also never said "never will I ever" allow her to use technology. I will still own a computer and iPad to use when needed, I will not be allowing my daughter to use them until my husband and I deem appropriate as I said previously multiple times.
I think people think assume that because I feel this way about toddlers using technology that I'm judging their style of parenting. I will be a SAHM and I will be spending as much time enriching my daughter with the very activities that my parents used for me to prepare her for school. If you cant be a SAHM and have to use these tools for your children, that's fine you have to do what works for you. I'm not trying to offend anyone or piss anyone off by saying that I don't want to use these things until we think she's ready.
It's funny how people twist your words around on these things. I forgot that having an opinion on this forum is a big no no if it's on something that the majority of the women on here won't agree with.
And if you don't want notifications, don't start a post. People aren't paging you intentionally to specifically agree or disagree with what you have said - they're participating in the conversation.
Off birth control March 2012 - Actively trying Sept 2012-April 2014
BFP on May 5th after Follistim & IUI #3
"I see this situation a lot out in public (I work in retail, so I see it everyday), small children sitting in their strollers, mouths open watching or playing something on a tablet or on their parents smartphone. So infatuated with what's happening on the screen that they don't see anything else going on"
So to that, I say that I'm sure you do see that a lot. But who's to say that this is the norm for that parent? You're just getting a snapshot of that parent's entire day, not their whole parenting style. So yeah, it kind of feels like you're judging OR assuming that all parents that you see with kids like this must be like your niece's parents... just throwing a device in their child's face to make their own lives easier. That's most definitely not the case for me, but you very well catch me on a day when I'm at the grocery store trying desperately to finish up shopping for a 40 person gathering and my kid is NOT enjoying the 1.5 hours in the store. That's the case for a lot of parents and it's hard enough to be a parent, never mind wondering if someone is looking at you with a side eye thinking that you always throw technology at your 2 year old to keep them entertained vs. enriching them in other ways.
And to the post you put above about being a SAHM parent. See the bolded part, particularly the part in italics. You are (intentionally or not) stating that if someone is a SAHM that they should never have any need to have a moment to herself to pee, shower, start dinner, etc. I do both - my kid is with me all day and I work all day. A huge luxury and blessing, but it doesn't come without its challenges. Let me tell you, even SAHMs have things to do outside of parenting their child for 12 hours a day (I work outside of the home but I do WFH on occasion). Sure, that's the priority. But there are other things to do and parents may find it a bit peaceful for all involved to allow a child to watch a show for 20 minutes while they peel some potatoes and throw a roast into the oven. It's OK. It's OK if it's not for you, but many parents do it in moderation.
Lastly, you specifically asked for opinions in your OP and you got them.
All I'm saying is what you deem neccessary now, as a mom to be, is VERY different from what you may deem neccessary a year from now when you have a year and a half year old and have to drive 10 hours in the car. Maybe you'll never change your stance, or maybe you'll quickly change your mind. It really doesn't matter, You have absolutely no way of foretelling the future. And I couldn't care less what people think of my parenting skills, especially regarding something so silly IMO.
For me, the toddler/school age technology is pretty well tied up, since children don't spring from the womb knowing how to operate an iPad, but earlier access can affect how they interact with technology later in life.
I understand that my beliefs are unpopular amongst a lot of moms on here and that's fine but saying things along the lines of the OP said this because of this but what they're saying isn't at all what I said, rather an interpretation of what they think I said.
I'm not getting rid of my smartphone so that my daughter doesn't have behavioral issues, as you said in a previous response. My plan has always been to get rid of my smartphone when my plan was up next year, regardless of if I was having my daughter or not It's not something I find necessary. Now that I know I'm going to be having a child I find this decision more important.
Someone said that I have a lack of self control and getting rid of my smartphone so that my daughter won't be exposed to it early on is a personal problem. Thanks but I don't have any problems with not using my smartphone or any technology.
A lot of the conversation going on now has gone completely off topic from what I posted in the original post. Not reading what I had originally said, being that my husband and I will decide when to introduce technology. People are reading the post and thinking I'm going to hold my child back from learning because I won't allow her to EVER use technology.
mm 2/17/11 * dd born 4/20/12 * bo 1/3/14 * edd 1/21/ 1/15
allowed to talk about how you feel about a topic. I don't think half the people have even read or understood what I've said is all. I see a lot of posters jumping to conclusions and assuming that what I've said means something else.
I'm not bashing anyone else's parenting, you don't need to defend your decision to allow your toddlers or children to use technology. I'm not just standing around out in public judging people for allowing their children to use technology.
I appreciate when people respond telling me their opinion, but when you state your opinion and go on to tell me mine is wrong that's just not cool.
All I've said is that I will be replacing any activities that can be Downloaded in the App Store with activities that don't involve technology. Being a SAHM has nothing to do with that decision, if I wasn't planning on staying home I would still implement these rules. I just simply don't want technology in her life until she's ready. I didn't mean for that statement to come off as offensive to anyone. But I can see what you're saying.
I CHOOSE to work outside the home. It's not that I "can't" be a SAHM, but it is better for me and my family if I work outside the home.
I don't "have" to use iPads and TV as a way to entertain or enrich my toddler. He enjoys it, he may learn something, and it's fine IMO in moderation. Like others have said, if a child turns whiny or demanding about screen time, just like if they did with juice or anything else, that is a behavioral issue that should be addressed by parenting. It does not mean that introducing them to technology at a young age is inherently bad.
DS is nearly one. I don't let him typically use my phone. He loves to carry it around, probably because its mine and sometimes we call people or Skype with my parents. Sometimes I'll open a drawing app for him. My mom will show him pictures on her phone sometimes, and she will say like "who's that? That's paw paw!"
He also had LOTS of toys that make noise and play music. He loves music. He loves to dance. But mostly he runs around and picks up any piece of trash off the floor that I missed.
The TV is on a lot, but he doesn't watch it. If a song starts to play he will dance. But mostly the TV is on so I don't fall asleep.
As a 1 year old he is a pretty smart kid. He started walking at 8 months. Started climbing at 9. And started moving things or usings to get other things that are normally out of his reach. He knows what a lot of words mean, and he is starting to say some, although he associates all dogs as "beaux" which is our dogs name.
I think technology if used right can be a great tool for helping babies of any age learn. Do I think that you should constantly use technology to distract your kids? No. But do I get why some people do? Yes. If I could get my child to sit and watch a 30 minute show once day I totally would. That little guy is so active and I to everything.
Do I think that technology always needs to used for educational purposes? No. It's OK to let kids have fun. Even if it's more than you know you should. I still think it's OK.
TV shows can be enriching as well. A lot of what we watch is the Disney Jr shows that teach colors, shapes, problem solving, and things of that nature. We also watch Phineas and Ferb a lot. DH and DS love it.
As a SAHM I can tell you that toddlers are EXHAUSTING. I'm not saying that there is no point in doing "enriching activities." But toddlers are wiggly. They move a lot. They want to play in their own way. Its not always feasible to plan out activities, and then have then actually do them. This is in direct response to the doing enriching activities. I'll also note its kind of a lot judgey to insinuate that working mothers are not capable of doing enriching activities or that they somehow need more "tools" or technology to keep their kid entertained. If anything they probably could handle doing an activity better than I could as I spend all day listening to my toddler cry every time I say no.
As a first time mom, I am really trying to enter this whole roller coaster without too many "I'll never" or absolutes. Of course, I have my "ideal" situations/solutions, but being around kids my entire life, I know that's not always feasible, and that's okay.
I grew up with educators as parents and TV time was super limited. We had one of the first Apple computers with the green writing and I played pong...and later Where in the World is Carmen San Diego when they upgraded. I was able to watch 30 minutes of TV a day and never had a TV in my room until my college roommate brought one. However, I am fully aware that life 30 years ago is quite different from today. Of course, I would love to sit back and claim that my child won't be given my iphone ever...but I think I would be setting myself up for disaster.
Just like anything, we will have limits on the things we let our kids use. My limits might be more strict than another parent and I'm okay with that...or maybe (gasp) someone might be more strict than me. I think everything in moderation will be our goal. When will I let my kid use my iphone, sit in front of the TV to a watch a show, etc...NEVER (just kidding)- I am not 100% sure...I'd love to put an age on it, but we'll just have to see how it goes.