Toddlers & Technology

ChelCChargers · September 2014

I've had a smartphone for about 4 years now, and as soon as my plan is up next year I'm going to switch back to a basic phone. Why do you ask? My husband and I have decided that we don't want our daughter to be introduced to technology at a young age.

I see this situation a lot out in public (I work in retail, so I see it everyday), small children sitting in their strollers, mouths open watching or playing something on a tablet or on their parents smartphone. So infatuated with what's happening on the screen that they don't see anything else going on. My own niece is one of these children. She is obsessed with Mickey Mouse and has been allowed to watch him on her moms iPad and iPhone so now she HAS to watch him all the time. It doesn't matter where she is she is always crying for Mickey. She came over to see me a few weeks ago and I was trying to talk to her and she wouldn't even look at me because she was watching Mickey in her car seat on the way over. This is enough reason for my decision to not allow my daughter to play with smartphones or tablets of any kind until my husband and I decide she is old enough.

What are everyone else's opinions on this matter?

ChelCChargers · September 2014

@sassquatch‌ Ideally I would do the same thing for my daughter, I think that's a great idea if I didn't completely get rid of my smartphone. Also that's awesome that she doesn't get upset when you tell her no. I've seen kids throw the biggest fits over not being able to use their parents phones.

Samuelismomma · September 2014

Well it's nice in theory but even the kindergartener's in our schools are given iPads to use. So I think technology is just the future and most schools and colleges are going onLine to so I think it is unavoidable. I think the key is moderation with play and being outside. Smart phones , iPads,etc are like video games were when I was younger...

elleswarth · September 2014

I think you're talking about two separate issues. If a child is throwing a tantrum over not using the phone, they're likely throwing tantrums for other things and it's a behavioral issue. There are some very educational games out there, and if you set strict guidelines of when and where technology should and can be used, I don't see anything wrong with it. My child has been able to operate my MacBook and iPhone since roughly 3 years old (she's 6) and she's in the advanced program at her school. I don't think it dumbs them down if that's what you're getting at. She also knows when and where she can use my phone, her iPod touch, the MacBooks, etc. It's never a fight. I think getting rid of your smartphone is very extreme. Also, your child would only be aware she could even play with your phone if you let her in the first place. Children don't instinctively know what smartphones are. You may want to rethink this.

Also, your pole options are all basically the same.

ChelCChargers · September 2014

@elleswarth‌ I don't think it dumbs children down, that's not what I'm getting at. If it's used out in public to keep them busy that's one thing, but allowing the continued use of them to keep them busy at home isn't something I agree with. I know there are a lot of apps that are good for learning or coloring but I would prefer to do things the way people have been doing them for years before learning or coloring apps. I'm not saying I'm going to go off the grid completely, but I will just use my regular phone to make calls or texts. All the extra things I can do on my smartphone I can do on my computer. I understand that children have to learn how to use smartphones, and it's not something they're born knowing how to do. But when a child sees their parent using something that has a colorful touch screen they're more likely to say "gimme" if they see them using it all the time.

I know people are going to disagree with my decision and that's fine with me. At the end of the day smartphones and tablets are just material items,
Not something my family needs to survive.

elleswarth · September 2014

ChelCChargers said:
@elleswarth‌ I don't think it dumbs children down, that's not what I'm getting at. If it's used out in public to keep them busy that's one thing, but allowing the continued use of them to keep them busy at home isn't something I agree with. I know there are a lot of apps that are good for learning or coloring but I would prefer to do things the way people have been doing them for years before learning or coloring apps. I'm not saying I'm going to go off the grid completely, but I will just use my regular phone to make calls or texts. All the extra things I can do on my smartphone I can do on my computer. I understand that children have to learn how to use smartphones, and it's not something they're born knowing how to do. But when a child sees their parent using something that has a colorful touch screen they're more likely to say "gimme" if they see them using it all the time.

I know people are going to disagree with my decision and that's fine with me. At the end of the day smartphones and tablets are just material items,
Not something my family needs to survive.

If the child says "gimme", you say no. You are the parent, after all.

Stargirlb · September 2014

Ha this is one of those ftm things

Amiright stms?

MusicFanatic · September 2014

Stargirlb said:

Ha this is one of those ftm things Amiright stms?

Hey, I don't think it's necessarily fair to lump an entire group together like this.

As a super long time babysitter/caretaker for friends kids, not all FTM's are completely naive and have no clue.

Personally, I believe smartphones and technology can be a great thing. I remember eating breakfast as a small child and sitting in front of the TV to watch sesame street (which is where I learned my ABC's, learned to count to 10, etc).. I see no difference. I think there are a TON of amazing apps nowadays that are educational. I also believe sometimes a parent just needs a sinkin' break and giving a chid an electronic for limited use can regenerate you and give you that.

That said, I don't believe they should be on it 24/7. And when they cry all day because they're not allowed, it's probably a bit much.

Can we maybe not lump groups together and make one feel stupid or naive, though? Not all of us sit here and say "my kid won't have mcdonalds until they're 4!!" or "my kid will never have a TV in her room". I absolutely realize FTM's have no clue what we're about to get into, but it doesn't mean we can't have opinions or they're all silly. Everyone was a first timer at one point.

Maebb · September 2014

This seems like a very judgy poll to me.

jc51723 · September 2014

I let my 3 year old use my iphone and Kindle. On occasion she gets to use her dad's ipad too. She also has a Nabi Jr. that is her own. She's been using my iphone since she was probably 15 months and the rest came along after. I feel like this is completely fine, in moderation of course. She is incredibly smart - recognizes every letter in the alphabet and knows each sound, writes her name, counts, does simple addition - and I feel like she learned a good chunk of that from her apps! She loves ABC Mouse too. She isn't on them all day nor will she cry or pitch a fit when I tell her no, and she still prefers toys and books most of the time.

It's going to be pretty much impossible to shelter your child from all technology! Besides, as a mom, sometimes you just need a damn break, and let me tell you handing a child an ipad and getting 30 minutes of peace and quiet is pure bliss sometimes

peckmiranda · September 2014

We chose not to let my son watch any TV until 2 and have very limited access to phones/tablets before 2. He mostly just got it in extreme situations, like the doctor's office or something. I'd noticed friends' kids who had access to technology not seeming to be satisfied with non-interactive toys, and I wanted to make sure his gross motor was fully developed before he lost interest in his wooden toys and such. I also didn't want him to be constantly reaching for my cell phone if I needed to use it for something. That's annoying.

I will say that it's really hard to judge another person's parenting based on how that child behaves in public. That toddler could have just had a really terrible day and, in his mind, taking the cell phone away was just the last straw and there's the temper tantrum. But I will agree with OP that it seems like my son gets a lot angrier about getting the cell phone or tablet taken away than almost anything else. I don't know if that's because he just doesn't ever get it or what.

nah82 · September 2014

I don't have a smartphone, but if I did, my kids would not be playing with it. My mom and MIL let my 4 year old play Angry Birds on their tablets when he visits, and I don't like how he acts addicted to it and wants to go straight for the tablet when he goes to see grandma. My mom mentioned getting him a cheap tablet for Christmas and I told her NO! He needs to be outside playing at this age and he doesn't need to be a video game addicted teenager already! Apparently my MIL mentioned the same Christmas present idea to my husband when I wasn't there to object and I don't think he gave her the same answer because he isn't around to see how he acts with it, he's usually at work or outside doing yard work or something while little guy is inside with grandma. I let him play Wii at our house for a little bit and we watch tv, but he really does not need his own tablet to zone out on all the time.

YaMrWhite · September 2014

Just you wait ftms! No I'm kidding.

My daughter enjoys some pretty educational games on my phone.One of the apps I've downloaded for her has helped her learn (along with me of course) to count to 12. She just turned 2 in June so I think that is pretty cool.

YaMrWhite · September 2014

ChelCChargers said:

@elleswarth‌ I don't think it dumbs children down, that's not what I'm getting at. If it's used out in public to keep them busy that's one thing, but allowing the continued use of them to keep them busy at home isn't something I agree with. I know there are a lot of apps that are good for learning or coloring but I would prefer to do things the way people have been doing them for years before learning or coloring apps. I'm not saying I'm going to go off the grid completely, but I will just use my regular phone to make calls or texts. All the extra things I can do on my smartphone I can do on my computer. I understand that children have to learn how to use smartphones, and it's not something they're born knowing how to do. But when a child sees their parent using something that has a colorful touch screen they're more likely to say "gimme" if they see them using it all the time. I know people are going to disagree with my decision and that's fine with me. At the end of the day smartphones and tablets are just material items, Not something my family needs to survive.

Is that something I have yet to deal with? My daughter says "mommy, can I have?" and I either say yes or no depending on the situation. I will not tolerate "gimme" or "give me" or "mine". Sorry kid, I pay the bills.

2000cougar · September 2014

My son has had an ipod touch since the age of 18 months. He rarely uses it. He looks for it if he's getting tired and needs some down time. He's 4 now and still doesn't use it that much. I have apps on it and the ipad that were recommended by his OT. He doesn't sit in front of a tv much at all either. He starts running from the minute he wakes up and doesn't stop until he's in bed. Most of his days are spend playing with Thomas the train, Legos, going outside and going to school. I don't understand why having a smartphone automatically means that you hand your phone over to a child whenever they demand it. Parents set the rules and make sure the kids follow them. Sometimes kids have meltdowns and it's usually not at the best time. In order to avoid the nasty looks from people, they will appease the child any way they can. Lollipops were my method, but to each her own.

@ExcitedMama2 Monkey preschool lunchbox is one of his favorites as well.

CanukMam · September 2014

Technology is an every day part of life, even more so for the next generation. I think it is essential to prepare them for this reality and to teach them to use it responsibly from a young age. Sheltering them from it completely is not doing them any favours. My son has had access to our phones/tablets at a very young age.

I agree that if your child is throwing tantrums, that is a behavioural thing (not an electronics thing). You are the parent, you set the rules. We also try to ask him to give the phone/tablet back (not take it away) and he very often hands it over willingly. I've found this approach is the most effective to avoid upsetting him but every kid is different though.

I know for my little guy (18 months) if I turn on the tv or give him the tablet he might watch it for 10 minutes and then he's off and into something else. If you don't make the tablet/phone this forbidden object, I find they aren't as obsessed with it. With that being said, he is only 18 months old so that may change but if it does: I am the parent and I will set the rules.

BookitBoo · September 2014

I didn't like the poll so I didn't participate.

This, like all things, requires moderation IMO.

jc51723 · September 2014

namcgee said:
I don't have a smartphone, but if I did, my kids would not be playing with it. My mom and MIL let my 4 year old play Angry Birds on their tablets when he visits, and I don't like how he acts addicted to it and wants to go straight for the tablet when he goes to see grandma. My mom mentioned getting him a cheap tablet for Christmas and I told her NO! He needs to be outside playing at this age and he doesn't need to be a video game addicted teenager already! Apparently my MIL mentioned the same Christmas present idea to my husband when I wasn't there to object and I don't think he gave her the same answer because he isn't around to see how he acts with it, he's usually at work or outside doing yard work or something while little guy is inside with grandma. I let him play Wii at our house for a little bit and we watch tv, but he really does not need his own tablet to zone out on all the time.

I don't know why people assume that because a child has their own tablet that they are on it "all the time" and "zoning out". We still play outside every day and she still loves all her regular toys and books. We go to the park, library, all that stuff. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

elleswarth · September 2014

namcgee said:
I don't have a smartphone, but if I did, my kids would not be playing with it. My mom and MIL let my 4 year old play Angry Birds on their tablets when he visits, and I don't like how he acts addicted to it and wants to go straight for the tablet when he goes to see grandma. My mom mentioned getting him a cheap tablet for Christmas and I told her NO! He needs to be outside playing at this age and he doesn't need to be a video game addicted teenager already! Apparently my MIL mentioned the same Christmas present idea to my husband when I wasn't there to object and I don't think he gave her the same answer because he isn't around to see how he acts with it, he's usually at work or outside doing yard work or something while little guy is inside with grandma. I let him play Wii at our house for a little bit and we watch tv, but he really does not need his own tablet to zone out on all the time.

I would hardly call angry birds an educational app, or one that kids even need to play.

OP, like other posters have mentioned, iPads are now being used in schools (my daughters included), as are other computer based education models. Hell, I had to download 4 apps (free) on my phone when my child started 1st grade this year. One is specifically just for her, and it's a book app that lets the teacher know how much she's reading as it records everything. Sheltering a child from something that they're going to need to know how to use sooner than you think isn't the best idea IMO.

AggieMom0809 · September 2014

My kids have our old smart phone to use. It is loaded with all, but one educational game. I did compromise and allow fruit ninja when they've done a bit of educational games on them. There are times that I need to focus on what I'm trying to find in a store and it is easier to have my son on the phone not asking 20 questions about everything I look at. You can only involve a 4yo for so long. When we go shopping, it's for the whole day because we don't live close to a shopping center.

That said, I will not be allowing this baby to use technology until she is at least 2.5y if not 3 depending on if she's able to follow directions of the activity by then. I even try to avoid toys that just make noise or have lights. Soothing song items like mobiles or other music is one thing, but not every toy needs to have a button to press to make noise. It doesn't teach or encourage gross/fine motor skill or cognitive thinking. We're doing kid powered items like plastic or wood rattles, squeakers, or crinkle items.

My kids will be learning how to use the computer in moderation using the leap frog style kid computers to learn where the letters are and how to type properly at age 5y. My oldest went to school and started working on computers the first week of kinder.

AlfiesMOM · September 2014

I voted in moderation...E is allowed to watch one show a day, she usually watches it while we are getting dinner ready. Also, when we are traveling (i.e in the car or on a plane) she is usually allowed to watch some shows on an ipad. Things she is not allowed to do is watch stuff while we are eating (at home or a restaurant). I would never give her my phone while we are out. I do think its fine in moderation, she is at a daycare that has a curriculum everyday (its like she is in school they do math, science, art, gym, writing/language, etc.) So, just like we do, we allow her some down time to unwind! She is also good at reading books and coloring when we are out and we want her to learn to socialize in conversation during dinner. She is still a little young now but we always ask her about her day, what she did, they are often leading questions but I think its important!

AggieMom0809 · September 2014

Oh, as far as switching my phone to not let the kid play on it... I wouldn't trust my kid to play with my phone even with the otter box cover. Aside from being dropped, there are too many things they can mess with, deleting items, going on the internet, or calling/texting random people. I deleted all the info off of my kid's phone and still keep an eye out to make sure they don't figure out how to make an emergency call (I still haven't, but I'm told it can).

If you can't have a smart phone because you might give it to your kid, that's a personal self control issue, not the kid's

AlfiesMOM · September 2014

I forgot to mention, we also have educational games that she is allowed to play, we also have coloring apps. Again these usually aren't done at home more like special things for when we are on trips but I see nothing wrong with sitting an coloring or coloring on an ipad or phone.

AggieMom0809 · September 2014

YaMrWhite said:

ChelCChargers said:

@elleswarth‌ I don't think it dumbs children down, that's not what I'm getting at. If it's used out in public to keep them busy that's one thing, but allowing the continued use of them to keep them busy at home isn't something I agree with. I know there are a lot of apps that are good for learning or coloring but I would prefer to do things the way people have been doing them for years before learning or coloring apps. I'm not saying I'm going to go off the grid completely, but I will just use my regular phone to make calls or texts. All the extra things I can do on my smartphone I can do on my computer. I understand that children have to learn how to use smartphones, and it's not something they're born knowing how to do. But when a child sees their parent using something that has a colorful touch screen they're more likely to say "gimme" if they see them using it all the time. I know people are going to disagree with my decision and that's fine with me. At the end of the day smartphones and tablets are just material items, Not something my family needs to survive.

Is that something I have yet to deal with? My daughter says "mommy, can I have?" and I either say yes or no depending on the situation. I will not tolerate "gimme" or "give me" or "mine". Sorry kid, I pay the bills.

I go one further, my kids have to say "may I please..." starting as soon as they can start talking. It's not the full phrase immediately, but eventually they get it.

Kids are going to want whatever it is the grownups have. It's not just a smart phone, it used to be regular phones too. Part of parenting is teaching your kids to not just say "gimmie" and expect something. I tell my kids "no" and while it doesn't always go over well, they know I'm not giving in if I've already answered them.

nah82 · September 2014

jc51723 said:

I don't have a smartphone, but if I did, my kids would not be playing with it. My mom and MIL let my 4 year old play Angry Birds on their tablets when he visits, and I don't like how he acts addicted to it and wants to go straight for the tablet when he goes to see grandma. My mom mentioned getting him a cheap tablet for Christmas and I told her NO! He needs to be outside playing at this age and he doesn't need to be a video game addicted teenager already! Apparently my MIL mentioned the same Christmas present idea to my husband when I wasn't there to object and I don't think he gave her the same answer because he isn't around to see how he acts with it, he's usually at work or outside doing yard work or something while little guy is inside with grandma. I let him play Wii at our house for a little bit and we watch tv, but he really does not need his own tablet to zone out on all the time.
I don't know why people assume that because a child has their own tablet that they are on it "all the time" and "zoning out". We still play outside every day and she still loves all her regular toys and books. We go to the park, library, all that stuff. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

I see it with my own eyes when we go to visit my parents. I'm not talking about anybody else's kid, but MY kid would sit there playing Angry Birds until the battery went dead if he was allowed once he has started playing with it. He used to color or put together puzzles or bring grandma a book, now he runs straight for her tablet when we walk in the house instead of running and giving grandma a hug. I'm not telling anyone else what is right or wrong for their own child, I said "he" as in my individual child.

kirstimack · September 2014

My daughter is 11 months old and when we have been sitting in the car or grocery store too long, I break down and hand her my phone, all she does is kiss the home screen which is a picture of her and her daddy

I don't see a problem with it in moderation, and if all she does is kiss the picture of her daddy I won't complain

nah82 · September 2014

elleswarth said:

I don't have a smartphone, but if I did, my kids would not be playing with it. My mom and MIL let my 4 year old play Angry Birds on their tablets when he visits, and I don't like how he acts addicted to it and wants to go straight for the tablet when he goes to see grandma. My mom mentioned getting him a cheap tablet for Christmas and I told her NO! He needs to be outside playing at this age and he doesn't need to be a video game addicted teenager already! Apparently my MIL mentioned the same Christmas present idea to my husband when I wasn't there to object and I don't think he gave her the same answer because he isn't around to see how he acts with it, he's usually at work or outside doing yard work or something while little guy is inside with grandma. I let him play Wii at our house for a little bit and we watch tv, but he really does not need his own tablet to zone out on all the time.
I would hardly call angry birds an educational app, or one that kids even need to play. Like other posters have mentioned, iPads are now being used in schools (my daughters included), as are other computer based education models. Hell, I had to download 4 apps (free) on my phone when my child started 1st grade this year. One is specifically just for her, and it's a book app that lets the teacher know how much she's reading as it records everything. Sheltering a child from something that they're going to need to know how to use sooner than you think isn't the best idea IMO.

I never said it was an educational app? It's a plaything to him. He goes to preschool to get an education and we read and go to the library and numerous other educational places. Obviously he is not sheltered from using tablets as he uses his grandmas, but he doesn't need his own. He gets the concept of touch screen and that the house means home screen and to push the picture he wants for his favorite game. I didn't have my own computer at home in elementary school and I did just fine in computer class. Neither of us even have a tablet and I don't have a smartphone, we don't have that kind of disposable income. He's not going to have his own cellphone to text his friends at 10, either, gasp!

banana2020 · September 2014

I haven't bothered to read responses. I'm sure some will infuriate me so I can't do it.

I was one of those people pre-kiddo that said, "OMG, not my kid! He is COLORING with real crayons at the dinner table at the family-friendly chain restaurant that we take him to at 4pm so as to not bother other patrons!"

Yeah. Right. Fvck all of that. I was so stupid to think life worked out that way.

I'm pushing 40 and definitely didn't grow up with technology so I figured, "Oh, why do other kids need it? They don't." Well, they don't need it, but they see it and love it and want to be a part of it so keeping him sheltered from it wasn't exactly an easy task.

DS plays on my iPad from time to time (he's 4.5). I don't typically bring it into a restaurant and we ALWAYS use crayons and the given puzzle placemat or whatever. And now that he's older he's able to hold a conversation and actually TALK to MH and me about his day and about interests and about the goings on the the restaurant vs. needing some kind of entertainment in front of him. But when he was 2 or 2.5 when nothing held his attention? Yep, pulled out that phone from time to time.

It's entirely possible to use those things in moderation, it's about parenting your child to learn that those things are not entitlements, but privileges. If you throw a phone (or any kind of distraction that they are crying for) in front of them when they scream for it, they'll always expect it and want it. It's like giving in at the store when they scream for a candy bar. You do it once, OK then. You do it twice? Thin ice. You do it three times, four times, etc... yeah, it becomes a habit and expectation that you created. So don't do that (or try not to).

My son is excelling in all areas of development (we're very lucky b/c it's not like he's going to be a Mensa member). He just enjoys learning and has been able to catch on to things early. But that was also thanks in part to Melissa & Doug clocks and counting toys and all kinds of fun hands-on things. But apps on my iPad/phone also helped him. It helped with fine motor skills, he enjoyed counting apps, games where he created snowmen using various tools and accessories, etc. And sure, an occasional Toy Story short was thrown in there for good measure because some kids just don't handle sitting for 45 minutes all that well. And most of them grow out of it (mine pretty much has!).

So it's easy to think, "I'm not doing that." But some things will surprise you, esp when your 4yo comes home from preschool talking about things that every other kid has and is doing. Or sees commercials for leapfrog and other techy toys that seem fun and engaging, but are still technology.

southernyankeegirl · September 2014

I think this is two separate issues - how often and when a child should use technology, and how to draw boundaries so your kids don't make the decisions by throwing a tantrum and getting their way.

We just upgraded our iPhones and are keeping one of them as a backup in case something happens to one of ours. However, I do foresee making it into DS's phone when he's bigger. I think there's a lot of benefit for kids to be comfortable with technology (it's only going to get more complex as time goes on) and lots of educational apps that he could benefit from using occasionally to supplement real world learning.

That said, a kid whining for an iPhone and getting it every time is more a result of parenting based on keeping your child happy all the time. I remember whining for things as a kid and being told when I could have it, and that it wasn't allowed right then. Yes, I probably pitched a fit, but part of a parent's job is to tell a child no.

I don't know when or what rules we'll have exactly. I do know no technology right before bed (I believe the blue light disrupts sleep patterns), and I do know no TV in bedrooms (we don't have one in ours - same reason). And during meals at home, no technology, though I reserve the right to do whatever keeps the peace in public ;-)

kellyfo14 · September 2014

Everything in moderation! My 4 year old came to me recently because she was worried that her 8 year old cousin couldn't hear. He had been immersed in playing with a Kindle and she had been all but shouting at him. He never once looked up and she was very much concerned. I get immersing yourself in something (my sister used to get that way while watching tv) but he had a whole group of cousins to play with and he was more interested in what was on the screen. This is where you step in as a parent and take it away. As far as my kids are concerned they occasionally use my Kindle or daddy's ipad maybe once every couple of days for a half hour or so.. They only use my phone to show videos of themselves. We actually don't use any of these in public, not that we are against it, just my kids tend to be much more interested in what is going on around them. I don't ever go out of my way to bring the Kindle or ipad if we are out.

banana2020 · September 2014

Some of my favorite memories are playing Lemonade Stand with my sister on her Commodore 64 in the 80s!

AggieMom0809 · September 2014

ladyamanuet said:

The having kids get used to technology thing is important too, I think. I was incredibly fortunate that we had a home PC when I was in kindergarten (this was the 80s - almost no one had home PCs then - we just did because of my dad's job.... oh how I miss Where In the World is Carmen Sandiego..... ). I am very computer savvy because I have been using them since I was 5, and that has been very helpful to me in my education and my professional life. So, while I still support moderation, I think that getting them acquainted with technology is still very important

I was never good at that game. lol We had a computer starting in the mid 80s because we had to have our papers typed for school and it was much easier to do on a computer than typewriter. Plus by 3rd grade we were in a computer programming after school class. (nerds I know. lol) Ah the good old days when computers were a PITA to just do something basic.

TXUltraRunner · September 2014

I've seen a lot of studies recently regarding early childhood development and the effects of technology on attention spans. I feel VERY strongly that children under the age of two should be engaged in other ways. Even Steve Jobs himself limted technology for his children and so do the developers of the apps children use. I don't own an ipad or tablet and will not be buying one for my child because I don't think it's a necessity. I do think that children should be introduced to technology in limited amounts after the age of two but it should not be in a way that enhances learning, not simply to pacify them. I don't judge others for their parenting, as they say "not my circus, not my monkeys" You can judge me if you will, stms. However, people said a lot of "just waits" about pregnancy that have not rang true for me.

llambrose · September 2014

My daughter is 5, she got a Kindle Fire last Christmas. Before that, she had my old iphone. I don't really think that exposing kids to technology is a bad thing, technology is every where and I am fine with her using it as a learning platform. She isn't addicted to it, she still plays outside, plays with toys, plays with other kids. We mostly use it as a 'quiet time" activity. It is really nice to have that option I think and to take advantage of the learning opportunites that it can provide.

BookitBoo · September 2014

We FaceTime a lot with family out of state -- every night we call someone. I'm pretty thankful for a smartphone for that purpose because DS gets to interact with family he wouldn't otherwise get to see.

Was the 8 year old reading on his kindle?

id012 · September 2014

I think this is one of those things you dont judge a parent on unless youv been in there shoes.
I let ds (who is almost 3.5) play on my phone, my moms ipad, and he knows how to use the laptop and navigate around thr pbs website.
That doesnt mean that every time we go to my parents he begs for the ipad and wont do anything else. Thats far from it actually.
I have most defiently have gave j im my phone to play with so I could do a little more shopping or chat with a friend a little long or whatever.
I honeslty dont know any kid over the age of 2 that cant navigate a smart phone of ipad and I kind of think that now a days you kind of put your kid at a disadvantage hiding all technology.

Eta: be careful who/what you judge when it comes to parenting. You have no idea what its like until your in the trenches and sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

Also I didnt read any of the comments so sorry if this is just a repeat!

ECATX · September 2014

I felt pretty strongly about no tv/technology until DD was 2. Now though (at almost 15 months), I just don't feel like it's as big of a deal as I did. There is no way she would sit in front of a tv and watch anything for more than 5 minutes, because she'd rather be engaged in something or on the move. So now, I feel like I can put the news on without feeling like I'm doing something wrong. She does also play with my smart phone, but she just likes to look at pictures or herself or move the icons around. It holds her interest for maybe 1 minute. She'd much rather be outside running around.

I guess my point is that I think it's dependent on the parent, the child, and how the whole thing is handled. My nephew is 7 and is totally hooked on his ipad, and it's annoying. But I feel like there's definitely some wiggle room between never letting my daughter see my phone and having her be totally addicted to an ipad.

ChelCChargers · September 2014

I understand that technology is everywhere. And that some schools are using tablets as apart of their curriculum now. But not every parent has this technology in their home, so even if all schools start using tablets there are going to be children who never used them before. These children aren't being deprived of anything. My opinion on the matter Is simply that are other ways to teach your child things they can learn on an app. It wasn't until recently that technology has become so prevalent in everyone's lives. I think there is an appropriate age for technology to be introduced, like I said in the original post that my husband and I will decide when to allow our daughter to use it. Obviously the majority in this group allows their children to use technology at a number of ages, and that's perfectly fine. I don't judge anyone for their parenting style or decision to allow their children to use technology. I just know where my husband and I stand on the matter.

I agree that my niece has behavioral issues and her obsession with watching Mickey is just a way that everyone keeps her quiet. I refuse to let my daughter get to this point, there's no reason why children shouldn't play with other toys or do other things to keep them occupied.

Some will say that I based this decision on being a FTM and that I'm naive because I don't know what it's like, but I'm firm in my decision of preventing this from ever being a problem.

Getting rid of my smartphone isn't even a big deal to me. I want to teach my daughter that there is a time and place for technology to be used and that's how I'm going to start. Phones should be used for calls and texts, all the other stuff is fun but not necessary. Plus we'll be saving money on our bill by not having additional features. And like I said previously it's a material item and not something my family needs to survive.

Judge me based on my decision, I don't care. I didn't create this poll to start a debate I wanted to see where everyone stands on the matter. Apparently my poll didn't make sense to some and I apologize.

Thank you for your opinions and you know my opinion, but that's all I have to say about the matter. I'm going to go on with the rest of my day now!

BookitBoo · September 2014

Some schools are funding technology to send home with kids who don't have the technology at home.

There are certainly ways to teach without using technology, but I don't think I would want to intentionally prevent my child from learning something that other children are learning, and IMO it's not so much what the technology is teaching, but breeding a familiarity with the technology which is useful for children.

Of course I don't judge people on if/when they allow their children to access technology, and I don't think anyone is. Mostly, it's just pointing out that there is no black and white in this decision, and encouraging FTM to avoid saying 'never will I ever' when it comes to decisions like that.

YaMrWhite · September 2014

ChelCChargers said:

I understand that technology is everywhere. And that some schools are using tablets as apart of their curriculum now. But not every parent has this technology in their home, so even if all schools start using tablets there are going to be children who never used them before. These children aren't being deprived of anything. My opinion on the matter Is simply that are other ways to teach your child things they can learn on an app. It wasn't until recently that technology has become so prevalent in everyone's lives. I think there is an appropriate age for technology to be introduced, like I said in the original post that my husband and I will decide when to allow our daughter to use it. Obviously the majority in this group allows their children to use technology at a number of ages, and that's perfectly fine. I don't judge anyone for their parenting style or decision to allow their children to use technology. I just know where my husband and I stand on the matter. I agree that my niece has behavioral issues and her obsession with watching Mickey is just a way that everyone keeps her quiet. I refuse to let my daughter get to this point, there's no reason why children shouldn't play with other toys or do other things to keep them occupied. Some will say that I based this decision on being a FTM and that I'm naive because I don't know what it's like, but I'm firm in my decision of preventing this from ever being a problem. Getting rid of my smartphone isn't even a big deal to me. I want to teach my daughter that there is a time and place for technology to be used and that's how I'm going to start. Phones should be used for calls and texts, all the other stuff is fun but not necessary. Plus we'll be saving money on our bill by not having additional features. And like I said previously it's a material item and not something my family needs to survive. Judge me based on my decision, I don't care. I didn't create this poll to start a debate I wanted to see where everyone stands on the matter. Apparently my poll didn't make sense to some and I apologize. Thank you for your opinions and you know my opinion, but that's all I have to say about the matter. I'm going to go on with the rest of my day now!

Yes that is true however time is precious. I work outside of the home so when I get home and have to get laundry done so my kid has clean clothes and diapers and get dinner made so she has something to eat before bath and bedtime (which comes so damn quick Mon-Fri) I can't always be there to teach her. I can multitask and "play along" with her while she learns from an app on my phone at the same time as getting her laundry done, feeding the cats, getting my lunch ready for the next day, getting her dinner cooked, etc.

Edit to add: I don't get home until 5ish after picking my daughter up from my stepmoms. She starts her bedtime routine at 7:30 and is in bed by 8:15ish. That means I have 2.5 hours of time to spend with her Mon-Fri AND get all the crap done that I need to in order to just stay afloat. I go to bed at 9 every night because I get up at 5am so those last 45ish minutes are dedicated to what I didn't get done in those 2.5 hours and trying to be a wife to my husband. I cherish these educational apps that can help me out because there just isn't enough time during the week for me to dedicate to teaching her like I wish I could.

banana2020 · September 2014

ChelCChargers said:

I understand that technology is everywhere. And that some schools are using tablets as apart of their curriculum now. But not every parent has this technology in their home, so even if all schools start using tablets there are going to be children who never used them before. These children aren't being deprived of anything. My opinion on the matter Is simply that are other ways to teach your child things they can learn on an app. It wasn't until recently that technology has become so prevalent in everyone's lives. I think there is an appropriate age for technology to be introduced, like I said in the original post that my husband and I will decide when to allow our daughter to use it. Obviously the majority in this group allows their children to use technology at a number of ages, and that's perfectly fine. I don't judge anyone for their parenting style or decision to allow their children to use technology. I just know where my husband and I stand on the matter. I agree that my niece has behavioral issues and her obsession with watching Mickey is just a way that everyone keeps her quiet. I refuse to let my daughter get to this point, there's no reason why children shouldn't play with other toys or do other things to keep them occupied. Some will say that I based this decision on being a FTM and that I'm naive because I don't know what it's like, but I'm firm in my decision of preventing this from ever being a problem. Getting rid of my smartphone isn't even a big deal to me. I want to teach my daughter that there is a time and place for technology to be used and that's how I'm going to start. Phones should be used for calls and texts, all the other stuff is fun but not necessary. Plus we'll be saving money on our bill by not having additional features. And like I said previously it's a material item and not something my family needs to survive. Judge me based on my decision, I don't care. I didn't create this poll to start a debate I wanted to see where everyone stands on the matter. Apparently my poll didn't make sense to some and I apologize. Thank you for your opinions and you know my opinion, but that's all I have to say about the matter. I'm going to go on with the rest of my day now!

just some thoughts on your comments (no flames, just thoughts).

1) Some kids don't have access to the internet at home, either. Maybe not so common now, but 10 years ago it was very common. But does that mean they shouldn't have a leg up on access to research for school and such? Are they deprived without it? No. But why not give them the advantage to have it at their disposal? Same with technology in general.

2) Apps don't replace education, they only can enhance it if used properly and under the right supervision. If my kid was sitting watching Netflix on the iPad 5 hours a day then no... not OK. But I see nothing wrong with a kid learning how to use apps, navigate games, etc on a piece of technology AND also with family board games, toys, tools, etc.

3) you hit the nail on the head with your niece. her parents are probably now feeling stuck (though not truly stuck, they could change the situation if they wanted to commit to it). They likely feel like it's just easier now to give in and let her watch Mickey then actually correct their own mistake of giving it to her on demand. Many parents are able to control usage. Does that mean my kid won't crank if I say, "nope, no iPad today?" Nope, sometimes he does crank over it. But 9/10 times he will move right along because he knows it's not his AND it's not an everyday thing. But that's because we chose to not let technology be a priority.

Right now he's playing with an old label maker pretending it's a piano and singing songs. He still has an imagination despite knowing how to navigate my iPad. And trust me, 5 years ago I was anti-technology. Look at me now.

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