Would you care if your SO went to a strip club?

Ksample89 · September 2014

Ksample89 · September 2014

I ask because my SO was just out of town for a business expo for 4 days in Indiana and we live in FL. My SO's business partner's wife caught her SO in a lie and has pulled me into it. She swears they went to a strip club while they were away. I have asked SO and he says no so I believe him. Pre baby I wouldn't care if he went but post baby id be so upset and hurt. Haven't fully gotten my body back and him going would make me feel like he isn't attracted to me. I know he is but hormones would tell me otherwise.

edoliesmom · September 2014

It's a step below cheating for me, so absolutely not. But I know he would never want to, so I don't have to worry about it.

moonsparkles · September 2014

He'd have absolutely no desire to go. But if he did, while I wouldn't worry in terms of fidelity, I'd think less of him.

lokimau · September 2014

We go together. It's fun. Usually with a group. It was the one of the things to do on Sunday nights in Atlanta for a long time

mrscrcalli · September 2014

Depends on the context if it was a Wednesday night and he just decided to pop on into the strip club after work hell no. I'm tired and we have an infant at home.

If it were with his friends for some sort of a birthday bachelor party or whatever I don't really care, but you better believe whatever amount he's dropping on strippers he will be buying me a purse or some shoes that equal that amount of money.

Jodash24 · September 2014

My partner has his bachelor party soon I've told him go to a strip club and there will be no wedding! I'm dead against it, single guys yes but someone with a partner who is about to get married... No no no

Shelbysteffens · September 2014

Mine is more situational. As pp said bachelor parties or whatever are all fine and dandy. But alone during the week to get something out of it would just hurt my feelings. I would feel like I wasnt providing something for him. Thank goodness he hasn't had a desire to go to one yet, so I guess we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

UnofficiallyLO · September 2014

SO is going to a strip club in a month for a bachelor party, I have no issues with it but no private dances.

Bluebird2318 · September 2014

Firstly, it would depend upon how he would feel about me going to a strip club (where men strip). If he would not be comfortable with me going to one, then I would also expect him not to go. Basically, if even one of us has hesitations about a certain behavior, then rules concerning that behavior should apply to both of us.

After that... In the context of a bachelor party or something like that, I would be okay with it, but I would expect him to behave honorably. Just because I'm okay with you going doesn't mean I'm okay with you acting single.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with him going and doing it outside of a special occasion. I feel like I would question his motives at that point.

On a related topic, I'm fine with him watching pornography (although I have my complaints about some parts of the industry itself). If it's not negatively impacting my own sex life, I don't care.

avidkeo · September 2014

Im SS, not only do I not care if DH goes to a strip club, I have frequently been with him, and on one occasion ended up on the stage top less...

man that was 10 years ago!

ETA thinking about it a little more, DH doesn't actually have any interest in going, but if he went away for a weekend and told me he was going I would say have fun. If he went then told me after I would be a little weirded out but still ok. If he never told me I would be like WTF if I ever found out.

hlm184 · September 2014

No problem with it for a special event, bachelor party sort of thing. If just a random day, I'd better be there with him. It's not like he'd do anything there anyway.

UnofficiallyLO · September 2014

DS was conceived after we went to a strip club in Key West :-h

hordol · September 2014

I wouldn't be ok with it, even for a bachelor party. I'm a mean wife.

lokimau · September 2014

UnofficiallyLO said:
DS was conceived after we went to a strip club in Key West :-h

DD was too. Except in Atlanta for my brothers birthday. (He puked on a stripper)

KatieGummow · September 2014

I completely trust my husband. It is nice, because he tends to tell me everything because I don't get mad about it.

Dixon813 · September 2014

DH has never gone/has no desire to go. And I would not be ok with him going - for any reason.

Edit for clarity.

Abcollins57 · September 2014

The only times DH has been is when ive convinced him to go. He's on the shy side and I love to watch him squirm

plus it's a turn on for me.

smushi · September 2014

No way. Nope. Never.

AmberLiz99 · September 2014

I would not be ok with it, but the biggest reason why is some addictions and other things that dh struggles with, and those kinds of activities fuel a very unhealthy flame for him. If he went I would know something else was wrong

Dixon813 · September 2014

Just out of curiosity, those that have said you don't care if he goes for a Bachelor party but said it's not OK for a random day/on his own...what's the difference? Why does it matter if he's with other guys (celebrating a guy that is about to get married)??

BabyBsMommy · September 2014

I may have gone to a strip club with DH and our wedding party the night before/morning of our wedding....we got married in Vegas!

Ditto pps about bachelor parties okay, by himself not okay.

spano41 · September 2014

I would let him go if it was a bachelor party or something. I don't particularly want him going alone and sitting there after work or something like that. He hasn't wanted to go though even for bachelor parties since we've been dating so i picked 'he respects me' ;;)

J&NL · September 2014

We like to go together. It's like a bar but with a show. We don't buy dances though.

Mustardseed2007 · September 2014

I voted that I wouldn't care, but it also feel like i should disclose that he hasn't been to one in forever.

If he was trolling the place every weekend I might be concerned about it.

Bluebird2318 · September 2014

celticlullaby said:

Just out of curiosity, those that have said you don't care if he goes for a Bachelor party but said it's not OK for a random day/on his own...what's the difference? Why does it matter if he's with other guys (celebrating a guy that is about to get married)??

It's creepy if he wants to spend the night alone staring at naked strangers and giving them money. It's not creepy to spend a night drinking and socializing with friends and go along where they go, and sometimes naked people are there.

Exactly! When it's a party the purpose for going is celebrating/enjoying friendship and, sure, the naked women might be a fun bonus, but it's whatever. If he goes by himself during his personal time then his only purpose in spending all that time/effort/money is to go ogle those women. If he's willing to put that much of his resources into providing himself with sexual fantasies of other women, it's a problem.

Ashleypixie · September 2014

Oooooooh boy. Tough subject for me. My husband went out of town for a night for work while I was eight months pregnant. He told me that after this dinner thingy that he went to his room and worked for a bit and went to bed. I found out later that he had LIED and had gotten completely wasted and went to a strip club BY HIMSELF and spent $300 in the VIP room. He wasn't having sex with me around that time because I was fat and pregnant, so I felt awful that the second he's out of sight and get away with it he goes and spends money we don't have to have some naked woman sit on his lap and pretend that he's something special. Obviously he isn't, and this put a HUGE dent in our marriage. It's too close to cheating, and I will never trust or respect him again. Not once did he think about his very insecure eating disordered pregnant wife and the money he was spending that could have been spent on his soon to be born baby girl. So basically, if he went to one ever again he will come home with divorce papers waiting for him.

loveyoga7 · September 2014

I have told my DH that he could go for his bachelor party in Vegas (5 years ago), since I know his groomsmen and friends were going to take him anyway. My brother inlaw said that my DH skipped out when it was time for them to go. So BIL and DH ended up gambling then going back up to their rooms. I asked DH why he didn't go and he said he went to a strip club while he was in college (before we met) and it's not for him and now that he has me there is no reason to ever go.

babylove4414 · September 2014

@lokimau.. Pink Pony!? lol I live in Atlanta and before I got married we use to go often in groups with friends. Pink Pony South was always my favorite before it closed down.

ksulli · September 2014

Our deal is he tells me before he goes. He hasn't been since his bachelor party, and his dad was with him for that. So if he were to go and not tell me before hand... We'll be having major problems.

cnbean · September 2014

Totally not ok with him going for any reason. Thankfully he has no interest in going either. He even skips them at Bachelor parties. When his brother got married 2 years ago he went to the first part of the evening, but when they all headed to the strip club he left and came home.

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