After birth heads up/advice?

lovingaddi · September 2014

I think everyone pretty much covered it, but phantom kicks caught me totally off guard. Literally made me jump out of my seat when it first happened

jibell · September 2014

I had my first shower after giving birth on day 2... It totally freaked me out because I was not prepared to still see a stomach that looked 4-5 months pregnant (just really floppy) and started crying in the shower over the fact that there was no baby in there anymore... The nurse that had been watching the baby came in to make sure I was okay when she heard me crying and said it was a totally normal reaction to get emotional...

Jatpa003 · September 2014

Thank you, my eyes have been really opened to my future normal. I have also had the "talk" with DH saying how crazy/weepy I may be and have tried to warn him about all the things that may happen. Openly talking about these kinds of things now make me feel so much better and will hopefully help if future things come up not only for me but for others. I feel like many of us have questions/ concerns that we just don't bring up for fear of looking weak, I hope this is not the case with many N14 mommas.
Cue dirty cry now... So thankful to be part of this group:)

wildflower75 · September 2014

lovebuggies1 said:

Baby probably will want to be held all the time. That's okay. Remember that he/she was held 100% of the time in the womb. They have never known /not/ being held. They have never known not being warm and safe and being able to hear your heart. Even if you put them down only 5-10% of the day... that's 10% less than they're used to. They're not going to be spoiled. There will too soon come a day that they can sit by themselves, scoot by themselves, crawl by themselves, and you won't have that little bundle snuggled into your chest anymore. This will be fleeting in retrospect.
**************** I've always wondered about this. I just can't wrap my mind around "spoiling" a newborn by not holding them or letting them cry. I haven't read much on it (pros/cons) but it seems cruel. Anywho, thanks for your comment. Definitely loving this thread!

For me it wasn't so much about not spoiling my daughter, it was more about sleep training and self soothing. If a baby is used to being held in order for it to go to sleep then you will be spending a lot of time holding a baby in order for them to sleep and trying to lay them down sometimes doesn't work because they get accustomed to being held. I wanted my baby to be able to sleep without being held so that sleeping through the night wouldn't be such a big issue and anyone could watch the baby (mom, MIL, DH). I would always pick up my baby when she cried but I definitely made sure that she was not accustomed to being held all the time. I think it's good to have a balance. But this is one of those things that parents decide for themselves...do what works best for your family but always keep in mind what you do sets up expectations for the child.

MuchlyGen · September 2014

@wildflower75 my point was more that they are already accustomed to being held all the time. You are holding baby constantly right now, baby falls asleep rocked by the motion of your body - it will take adjustment for the baby no matter what. I just see a lot of new moms worrying that there is something wrong with them, or their baby, or that they are going to spoil their baby by holding them. Just want to reassure its totes normal for baby to want that closeness.

hellosweety18 · September 2014

@MuchlyGen‌ Your post made me cry! Really loved it!
I think one of the best things for me once I was home was soaking in the tub, it just game me so much relief! I also agree to let the nursery take baby over night for you, it might feel a little tough but it is so good to have that rest!
I also remember when I first started breastfeeding all DS wanted to do was suck! My nurses had told me not to use a pacifier for fear of nipple confusion but good gosh, I mean it was constant and the only way he would be quiet was if he was nursing. I couldn't handle it any more and so we finally tried the pacifier and it made such a difference! No nipple confusion and I could relax! I guess more than anything here my point is that every baby is different so remember that a book or person may say one thing but you just have to feel things out with your little one!

wildflower75 · September 2014

MuchlyGen said:

@wildflower75 my point was more that they are already accustomed to being held all the time. You are holding baby constantly right now, baby falls asleep rocked by the motion of your body - it will take adjustment for the baby no matter what. I just see a lot of new moms worrying that there is something wrong with them, or their baby, or that they are going to spoil their baby by holding them. Just want to reassure its totes normal for baby to want that closeness.

Totally agree Baby is used to being held in the womb yes

abbyful · September 2014

lovebuggies1 said:

MuchlyGen said:
Baby probably will want to be held all the time. That's okay. Remember that he/she was held 100% of the time in the womb. They have never known /not/ being held. They have never known not being warm and safe and being able to hear your heart. Even if you put them down only 5-10% of the day... that's 10% less than they're used to. They're not going to be spoiled. There will too soon come a day that they can sit by themselves, scoot by themselves, crawl by themselves, and you won't have that little bundle snuggled into your chest anymore. This will be fleeting in retrospect.
****************

I've always wondered about this. I just can't wrap my mind around "spoiling" a newborn by not holding them or letting them cry. I haven't read much on it (pros/cons) but it seems cruel.

Anywho, thanks for your comment. Definitely loving this thread!

===

I spent most of the day during my maternity leave with DS just holding him on my chest. We didn't start any sort of CIO until he was probably around 9 months old, and only in limited increments.

wildflower75 · September 2014

lovebuggies1 said:

@wildflower75 when did you start sleep training?

My daughter started sleeping through the night at under 2 months old.

2ndGeneration · September 2014

People, especially random ones, will give you all sorts of crazy and often, bad, advice.
After my first, some people said, oh if you hold him and let him sleep in your bed you'll spoil him and he'll never sleep alone. NOT TRUE. And if I let him bf past a few months he'd never stop. NOT TRUE. Amazingly enough, all five of my kids slept well, transitioned to the crib easily, and weaned easily, despite the dire warnings

You really can't hold them too much. Trust me. I have a 20something, three teens and a tween. You only get to hold them for like a second...it goes really fast and next thing you know, you get the 'mom, I"m engaged' phone call like I got this past weekend. I plan to hold my new baby as much as I can, that's if I can wrest her away from her siblings who all want to hold her too!

2ndGeneration · September 2014

Yes! And the line at the grocery store, and uncle's wives mothers (so, not related, but still felt free to share) and co workers who hardly spoke to you otherwise. And this was all before the internet was invented LOL.

MuchlyGen · September 2014

I once took my six months old son for a walk in his stroller. He was barefoot... it was the middle of /summer/, a pleasant evening of what had been a very hot day. We stopped at a Rite Aid to get milk and there was a rather stern looking older woman behind us.

As we left the store, the woman hurried out after us and tossed a package of cheap baby socks on James's lap, and said to him in a baby talkish way "Here are some socks for your poor widdle feet, since mommy didn't care to give you any." She gave me a dirty look and stalked away, while I stood there blinking gawmlessly.

Seriously. People do not have any boundaries when it comes to babies.

MuchlyGen · September 2014

Haha, right?

lesliegolem · September 2014

Depends!! Seriously will be buying at least 1 pack with this one. Birthing instructor recommended getting some and they were so much better/easier to use than pads. I had a 2nd degree tear so depends, peri bottle and witch hazel wipes were my best friends.

Agree you may be very emotional after the birth. Completely normal and don't be afraid to say no to visitors if you're not in the mood!!

Also MuchlyGen that is insane! I had an elderly woman offer to buy my baby a jacket because surely my baby was cold. My DD was in long sleeves and it was a warm fall day. I was shocked people are insane.

BkBaby118 · September 2014

Great advice, @MuchlyGen, @alibissell, and everyone else. This thread is very helpful!

ssoto03 · September 2014

Well your post reminded me of how many times I was note able to make it to the restroom on time whenever I had to do#1 after my C-section. So this time around Depends sounds like a great idea. Thanks.

Disneygeek77 · September 2014

Ha ha, I have to agree with crying for no reason. One time I cried because my Jimmy John's sandwich fell apart every time I bit into it.

Let me see what else ?

Well, I only had c-sections so my advice is to be open to the possibility of taking a suppository for constipation afterwards. Unfortunately, I didn't figure this out until my third c/s. The other two I suffered waiting hours or days for other methods to work.

One thing I didn't realize is that I would have uterine cramping and/or breast pain when beginning to breast feed. My mom told me it was normal but I was concerned about the breast pain as I thought it meant I was doing something wrong. Apparently, sometimes it just hurts to breastfeed at first. I know the pain would last about 30 seconds and then I was fine.

staugustinewedding · September 2014

missnacholover said:

Great thread, everyone!!!

Ditto!! Thanks ladies!!!! Can anyone say how delivering the placenta was?? I am very curious...did you feel it? How long did it take?

rahkitt · September 2014

The placenta usually comes just a few minutes after the baby, not long at all. And it really doesn't hurt. After pushing out a baby, it just feels like passing a big clot, it doesn't feel as big as it is. Then they'll push on your stomach and massage it, possibly very hard, which makes the bleeding slow down. Big gushes of blood will come out, but that's normal. Don't worry unless the nurses do

They'll also look over your placenta very carefully to make sure it's all there because if little bits stayed in you that's very dangerous.

staugustinewedding · September 2014

Thank you!

dbgwife · September 2014

@lesliegolem‌ I totally forgot about the depends! I used those with both girls instead of pads!!! So much comfier!

mamatohne · September 2014

Btw if you have a c section you are still not suppose to wipe with toilet paper and suppose to use the peri bottle.

ebalkits · September 2014

Nobody prepared me for the immense pain of when your milk comes in. My breasts were hard as a rock and almost square shaped. I woke up in tears one night to the pain and it takes your body a while to regulate to the baby's feeding needs. I found these breast-shaped ice packs that really helped in BRU and also hot showers helps release some of the milk and pressure naturally.

PandaCon · September 2014

ClrkKntismyAE said:

staugustinewedding said:

missnacholover said:

Great thread, everyone!!!

Ditto!! Thanks ladies!!!! Can anyone say how delivering the placenta was?? I am very curious...did you feel it? How long did it take?

I didn't feel the placenta, but my cousin compared it to passing a giant, gooey booger. She said it actually felt kinda nice after child birth.

Same here. I didn't really feel/notice that I was delivering my placenta since DS was on my chest. The OB did tell me to push and I guess I did but don't really remember it ya know?

Rhall2088 · September 2014

Dermaplast was my new best friend since I tore so bad and warm baths and showers

ElinJ · September 2014

Delivering the placenta = PLOP

Yeah… that's about how I can describe it. I do NOT remember pushing at all, but of course I had a baby to focus on! They didn't give him to me instantly as he wasn't quite responding the way they'd like, but within 90 seconds of so they determined he was fine. So, probably while I was feeling EVERY EMOTION ON THE PLANET is when I delivered the placenta. I only remember briefly thinking "gross".

MuchlyGen · September 2014

Delivering the placenta in a word:

Blorp.

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