I just need to rant for a minute- Baby shower

dash419 · September 2014

I literally just got a text from my younger sister asking me to move the date of the baby shower because she wants to attend a friend's wedding that's on the same date (out of state). "I wasn't going to attend because I couldn't afford it, but she's going to pay for my ticket". Um...wtf?! you couldn't tell her it was your sisters baby shower and you wouldn't be able to make it?!
She asked if I'd consider any other date. To which I kindly replied "it's the middle of season for the restaurant, so no". I didn't even have to give her an explanation, but I did. Who does that?! Who asks someone to move their shower to revolve around something that's convenient to them?!

LooneyLife · September 2014

Is your sister hosting your shower? Or is she just a guest that's asking your host to change the date?

dash419 · September 2014

@LooneyLife no, a friend of SO is.

LooneyLife · September 2014

edit: nevermind, question answered

llambrose · September 2014

I would be upset too (it seems like something my sister would do), sorry. I would tell her that you can't change the shower and that you really would like for her to be there but that is really all you can do. For me family comes first.

honeybeee3 · September 2014

Have you already sent out invitations? If you have, then I think it is a little rude of her to ask that you change the date. But if you haven't, I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal. She is your sister after all and IMO family can get away with asking stuff like that. If it were me, I would probably change it for my sister if the invites hadnt gone out yet but that's me. Still I understand why you would be frustrated and hope it all works out!

Josie400 · September 2014

I'm sure if I knew all sides and details I would have a definite opinion, but just based on what I read all I have is this: baby showers are going to have different levels of importance to different people. Even though she's your sister, it may not be an event that trumps a wedding of a friend. Lots of people who go to showers aren't even that excited about it. That doesn't mean she isn't excited for you and your baby.

southernyankeegirl · September 2014

Eh, I'd tell her to go to the wedding. But yeah, totally inappropriate to ask you to schedule around her. She's a big girl and has to deal with conflicting obligations - I tend to agree that wedding trumps baby shower, though.

I told my brother and his fiancée not to stress about coming to my shower (it's co-ed) because it's a 4 hour drive and she has a test on Monday for grad school, that I would rather they take the time to visit to meet their nephew when he arrives.

dash419 · September 2014

It's not going to be the end of the world if she doesn't attend. I understand that both are important events. However, for her to want the host to change the date after invites had been sent out & had already said she'd come irritates me. Maybe I'm overreacting. And yes, texting instead of calling irks me as well, but that's my sister.

YaMrWhite · September 2014

I've never been to a baby shower that wasn't boring. It's just the nature of them. Weddings though? Fun as shit! While she should have gone about turning down the baby shower differently, I wouldn't mind if she went to a wedding of a friend instead of my shower.

elleswarth · September 2014

I agree with PP that the text was rude, and asking for you to accomdate her schedule isn't okay. But I also agree that baby showers aren't the most important thing. The actual birth is. And if the bride is paying for your sisters ticket, she must obviously be someone pretty special to the bride. I would say that the wedding trumps the shower in this case.

GromMom · September 2014

My sister asked me to move my wedding because it was the week after they got back from Disney world and they didn't want to travel twice in a month. I said no and she got over it and came anyway. I think sometimes sisters just ask because they can. I wouldn't stress if she couldn't come to your shower, generally showers are pretty low key and you'll probably be so busy opening stuff you wouldn't have much out a chance to socialize with her anyway.

britb618 · September 2014

I think the fact that the invites are already out makes it incredibly rude- personally family comes first and I'd skip the wedding but like other pps said she must be close with the bride if the bride offered to pay for her ticket- if it's her bff I'd be ok with her skipping shower to go to wedding- if it's not then I'd personably be upset that she skipped shower- but only if I was close with said sister. So i guess it all depends on the relationships

MahriM23 · September 2014

I would tell her to go to the wedding and I wouldn't harbor any resentment about it. It's a wedding! Wedding=most important day of someone's life (to a lot of people) No one would say this about a baby shower. No one. Maybe it's weird that she would ask you to move the date of your shower but sisters are dumb sometimes. I mean my younger sister just flat out asks me to give her my things sometimes. I just say no but it doesn't shock me, I mean I did live with her at one point.

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kcsparky · September 2014

Maybe I'm old school but family should always come first. Who cares if showers are boring?!? She's your sister and should be there.

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Disneygeek77 · September 2014

I'm sorry but I have to agree with others that a wedding is more important than a shower ( family or not, it is just a party).

Absolutely don't change your date, but don't give her a hard time for choosing a wedding of a close friend over a party where you are showered with gifts either.

AmandaKess · September 2014

ExcitedMama2 said:

Sorry, but I think wedding trumps baby shower...seriously. The wedding IS the big event, the shower is just a celebration leading up to the big event (having the baby). I really don't see what the big deal is if she doesn't come to your shower...it isn't like she's skipping out on the BIRTH.

No offense, but I have to agree. It may have been rude for your sister to ask you to reschedule, but I definitely think wedding trumps baby shower. Even if she did already say she couldn't go to the wedding her friend obviously wants her there a great deal if she's going to pay to fly her out. I wouldn't give her too much grief about it. It sounds like she asked just so she could try to be there for two people she really cares about.

dash419 · September 2014

I didn't give her any grief at all. I told her to go. I was more put off by the fact that she'd text to ask my host to move the date of the shower. She was in town over the weekend for my dad's birthday and had plenty of opportunities to pull me aside and speak to me. Again, it's just her nature to do things the way she does.

kellyfo14 · September 2014

I agree that she should never have asked to change the date. That is ridiculous but maybe was her way of showing you that she is in turmoil over it and feels bad about not being able to be there. As far as the wedding. I would never allow the bride to pay for my ticket to her wedding. Even if it was my bff. I would respectfully decline. The bride is likely already spending a fortune on her wedding. I couldn't let my plane ticket be part of that.

lawwarrior · September 2014

That's crazy! I have my own rant about showers. I'm having 2, one I just had in another state. Is is just me or does no one shop from the registry anymore.? 'm so grateful for anything I receive but it seems pointless to create a registry as ppl are going to buy what they to anyway. Just a little rant of my own, lol!!!!

dash419 · September 2014

@ExcitedMama2 at the time of writing the rant I was initially more upset because it's just like her. She had already told my mom she was planning to accept her friend paying for her ticket and had asked if she thought I'd mind.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that while if I'd done the same, she would've flipped, it wasn't the end of the world if she didn't attend the baby shower.

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