Buncha Bullies Up In Here

hlb622 · September 2014

cdhaslag said:

Ugh, I was bullied all through middle and high school. There was a rumor that I was the Antichrist. A rumor that I was KTFU when senior year started. That I stole another girl's boyfriend. That I was a witch. They threw gum in my hair. Stole my shit. Told me to show up at the wrong place for pre-homecoming dance dinner. Got guys to dance with me as a joke. I was harassed relentlessly and hated 90% of those years. I'm not friends with a single person that I met before I turned 20 years old.

%cliques
%varsityteam
%slutrumors

%momtoo
This is awful, I'm sorry. I was a mean girl in high school (as previously stated) but I never would've done shit like this. Maybe I was just a bitch and not a bully. But for reals, this hurt my heart, I hate that anyone would have to go through that!

Yes, there is deft a difference between bullying and being a meanie. And I think that's part of what's diluting society's attempt at taking a stance against it. I mean, high schools are implementing "zero-tolerance" policies against bullying, which result in kids getting suspended or expelled for calling someone a bitch in front of others. That's ridic, IMHO. I think bullying is when the victim's quality of life is disturbed by relentless harassment, stalking, name calling, physical attacks and/or threats, rumors, etc. that they can't escape.

I'm an old person, so we didn't have the interwebs in high school. But I can only imagine what kids are going through now, when so many people spend so much of their life online -- they can't get away from it.

Luff you, @cdhashtag.

sleepy33 · September 2014

Lee81 said:

It seems like a lot of what I have read about cyberbullying involves some aspect where it bleeds over into their 'real' life. So, saying something sarcastic or flippant to someone anonymous on a forum that they have voluntarily come to = not bullying. Tracking that person down, finding out who they are IRL, telling their spouse they got herpes from a stripper, calling their boss to let them know that they played hooky the week before, posting terrible things about them on their FB wall...these count as bullying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bullying can include deliberately going out of your way to exclude someone from a group. I feel like things have mellowed a lot since the board started dying, but this hasn't always been the most welcoming place for newbs or people who have previously said something unpopular. True no one has to keep coming to the board but maybe they've got no one else to turn to. We've talked before about how isolating it can be to be a new mom. This might be the only opportunity for social interaction that some people have. It's not like it's hard to understand why someone would want to be a part of a group like this.

I get what you're saying, and I'm not trying to be overly defensive. Some people may think some of the things I or others have said on here are bullying, and that is their prerogative. I think the two categories you mention are different. If you've said something 'unpopular', people have the right not to like you/accept you into their social circle. As far as newbs...IDK. I feel like I can't even really remember that long ago, so I won't comment.

Lee81 · September 2014

sleepy33 said:

Lee81 said:

sleepy33 said:
It seems like a lot of what I have read about cyberbullying involves some aspect where it bleeds over into their 'real' life. So, saying something sarcastic or flippant to someone anonymous on a forum that they have voluntarily come to = not bullying. Tracking that person down, finding out who they are IRL, telling their spouse they got herpes from a stripper, calling their boss to let them know that they played hooky the week before, posting terrible things about them on their FB wall...these count as bullying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bullying can include deliberately going out of your way to exclude someone from a group. I feel like things have mellowed a lot since the board started dying, but this hasn't always been the most welcoming place for newbs or people who have previously said something unpopular.

True no one has to keep coming to the board but maybe they've got no one else to turn to. We've talked before about how isolating it can be to be a new mom. This might be the only opportunity for social interaction that some people have. It's not like it's hard to understand why someone would want to be a part of a group like this.

I get what you're saying, and I'm not trying to be overly defensive. Some people may think some of the things I or others have said on here are bullying, and that is their prerogative. I think the two categories you mention are different. If you've said something 'unpopular', people have the right not to like you/accept you into their social circle. As far as newbs...IDK. I feel like I can't even really remember that long ago, so I won't comment.

I don't think you sound defensive and I'm not saying you or anyone in particular is a bully. I don't want to sound judgey. It's not like I've ever really gone out of my way to white knight for anyone.

I do think there used to be a lot of times where people were unnecessarily rude to new posters. Sometimes the newbs really did say something stupid but watching people gang up on them for it always kind of brought me back to my angsty teenager days of not feeling like I fit in. So I'm probably overly sensitive. The people who said something unpopular I get conflicted on. Part of me wants people to sit and be wrong in their wrongness but I also don't want to be someone who hold mistakes against someone forever or who will let one thing I disagree with keep me from interacting with someone who is otherwise quite lovely.

megs1409 · September 2014

I definitely did not stop friends of mine when they were making fun of a girl in middle school and high school who had incontinence issues. Maybe that doesn't make me an actual bully, but I sure feel shitty about it now.

#seewhatididthere

tashad18 · September 2014

I didn't bully anyone just for the fun of it, but I was definitely a royal bitch to a few girls that fucked with me/my friends.

ksimo6 · September 2014

There was a girl we picked on in high school. I feel bad about it and in not proud. We called her "the beaver" behind her back because her hair looked like pubes and she smelled bad. So immature.

Inn2 · September 2014

Middle school was a nightmare, at times, for me. However, by high school I figured out how to just do my thing and it wasn't as bad. My Mom always said I was an easy target with that whole "heart on my sleeve" thing. #smalltownrichbitches. Part of the reason why I left that town in the dust and have never looked back. Never a bully.

shelley1002 · September 2014

I was picked on and made fun of all through school. I also had a kid I did the same thing to. So I guess you can say I was a bully.

Jenball717 · September 2014

dknight413 said:
Nope. Never bullied anyone. And I would always befriend the kids who were being bullied because I felt so absolutely bad for them.

I like you.

I wanna be like you.

Jalee85 · September 2014

I was more bullied than a bully myself. I had a pretty soft heart, until I was told by my principal to stand up for myself. I was afraid of being punished, but she said if I got a suspension to consider it a vacation. HS changed a lot after that. I wasn't afraid to push back anymore. I never bullied people who didn't bully me 1st though.

ETA - I even threw a desk once. The guy wouldn't get out of my face so I threw my desk I was sitting at up and out towards him.

I was bullied a lot for things that happened back in elementary school. It's sad. Even in college people would still talk about it. I had 2 big things happen. I had a boy who put his hands up my shirt and tried to feel my boobs, and then I did an extra credit activity about how I felt animals used their minds to talk to each other. I used an example of "If I said sit in my head the dog would sit" it was just an example to explain my theory, but 5th grade is relentless and I became the girl who spoke to animals with my mind....DOH neither of those incidents were ever forgotten and I was bullied so bad I ended up being placed in to an alternative school for my safety.

I also was sexually assaulted by a classmate. He cornered me between desks and grabbed my hand and forced me to touch him. I pushed him away, and told the teachers right away, but not a single one of my classmates would come forward because he was "popular" so nothing really happened.

bionicb · September 2014

Neither bully nor bullied. I was... invisible, or so it felt at the time. Looking back it was really weird, i felt invisible and easily forgotten but everyone knew my name and who I was. Even the cliques that kept to themselves.

Then again I still feel invisible a lot of the time.

Chrisanna0508 · September 2014

I can't think of a time when I personally bullied someone, but I certainly was not the type to stand up for someone who was being bullied in middle and high school. I think this is because I was bullied a lot myself and was scared of what people would say if I stuck up for someone. This is why I would never want to go back to high school. I have a much better sense of self now and am not so insecure.

deedee1017 · September 2014

@bionicb sorry you still feel that way. You're not invisible here.

vargasgurl · September 2014

I don't know if this counts but ... If someone crossed me then I would ... Retaliate.
Ex. 1
I was in 2nd grade and I had the other girls ignore this girl (they didn't like her) she was mean. When she would try to talk to us we would pretend that the "air" was talking. Eventually she ended up showing up at my house trying to bully me : bring friends so that they could beat me up. We ended up having a physical fight in 4th grade! I won.

Ex.2
7th grade girl calls me a slut and these girls are telling me everything that was said. Probably instigating. I hadn't even kissed a boy yet ! I followed her home after school confronting her for what she said and I shoved her several times ( she was w her little sister & a lot of kids followed us)

I regretted doing that ... I think it was awful! I Saw her in the bus one day when in HS and I apologized for that. She didn't accept ... I understood.

Ex. 3

My exes sister .... Hated my gutts. I think she thought I was a gold digger (I wasn't) and she was jealous she tried to bully me. She drove by my house , said really Nastey things to me in front of his extended family , clients and workers to embarrass me , called a talk show and tried to get me on it. This went on for a few yrs. eventually it got physical she pulled my hairb and I lost it on her. She and her mother tried to sue me "they feared for their life" she even tried to force her workers to lie in court. They lost the case.

Edit: now that I think about it .. Maybe to some degree ... Story #3 I was the one being bullied .... This affected me for a long time. I would cry because I couldn't understand why they hated me so much. I was mad at myself because I felt like she got the best of me when I hit her back.

KerCo51 · September 2014

I never bullied anyone and luckily was never bullied. I probably would have been bullied, but I had an #igivenofucks what people think mentality when I was young.

muffyvonmuff · September 2014

Ive been on both sides. I feel really bad about 2 girls I bullied in high school. One is now a model I recently found out.

Want a personalized experience?

Buncha Bullies Up In Here

Re: Buncha Bullies Up In Here

Choose Another Board

Search Boards