Question for c-section moms

MrMrsandBaby · September 2014

I was wondering, if you have a scheduled c-section (or had one with prior pregnancies), did you relax a little knowing exactly when baby would be born? Was it more stressful having a set date? Did you go into labor and, if not, do you ever get sad that you never got that experience?

These are the random thoughts that pop into my head at night when I can't sleep. My u/s is today to confirm is LO is breech or not so it has been on my mind for about a week...

Emerald27 · September 2014

I'm not a c-section mom, but can I answer too? I was a scheduled early induction.

I was told throughout the latter half of my pregnancy that it was very likely that I would need to be induced at exactly 37 weeks due to DS' IUGR, so even though it wasn't officially "scheduled" until the week before, I pretty much knew when he would be arriving, and I did know my induction date exactly one week before.

It was sort of cool to know that he would be born on the day of induction (or the next day), but it also stressed me out. I was scheduled to go in Monday evening for manual dilation via Foley catheter, and to start pitocin on Tuesday morning. I could NOT focus at work on Friday, and I ended up taking half the day off. I didn't go in at all on Monday. I was also sort of a basket case all weekend, and was pacing the hall and completely restless all day Monday. Knowing the exact day in advance is not what I would choose - just surprise me with labor and let what happens unfold naturally. Lol

I was very disappointed not to be able to go into labor on my own and labor at home as long as possible. I wanted an un-medicated, low-intervention birth and was being handed the opposite. So I sort of went in with a bad attitude, knowing I would be stuck in bed with an IV and continuous monitoring (the opposite of what I had hoped). I was also insanely worried about DS being small and not knowing why, and not knowing what to expect for him when he was born.

My birth experience with DS was more complicated than just knowing when he would be born, so all of that contributed to my feelings about my birth. Trying to separate my feelings regarding the "knowing in advance" aspect is really hard! Cool to think back on.

persephonerose · September 2014

I had a c-section with DS1. In some ways I was calmer having a set date in others I was not. I knew when baby was coming so I felt really prepared and not panicky. However, I had heard a lot of things about how terrible c-sections were and how bad my recovery was going to be.

To be honest I was a little sad before the c-section that I was not going to get to do the whole push/suffering/ta da moment I though a vaginal birth would be. But once I had my c-section I did not regret it and I don't feel I missed out. I still had a great ta da moment when they held my son up for me and he screamed.

My recovery was also much easier than I expected and I think that was in part because I did not fight my nurses on their recommendations for pain medication alternating norco/motrin to help keep the pain down. Which enabled me to get up and shower and walk around the day after my c-section. By day three I was only on motrin and went home on day four with only motrin.

BreandMikewedding · September 2014

I have a scheduled rcs this time and I think overall I'm more relaxed knowing we have a date. What stresses me this time is that my mil is coming to watch my other two and she gets here only 3 days before my rcs. I'm worried he will come early and I will have to have a back up person watch the kids during my c/s and then my dh will have to stay with them while I'm alone at the hospital. If my mil lived here I would be totally relaxed!

Roseypants · September 2014

I was induced with DD and labored for 44 hours before a c-section. I was thankful for the c-section at this point! I may be the minority on this one, but I'm glad I'm having a c-section. I never want to go through that again. It was kind of traumatizing. I know the recovery sucks, but I'm okay with it.

lisamahrt · September 2014

With my first we always knew from the beginning a c-section was a possibility due to a rare medical issue I had. At 36 weeks my LO was measuring 40 weeks, a huge head. The doctors and my husband and I all agreed a scheduled c- section was the way to go to help keep my medical issues at bay. Best decision for us hands down and would never change it. It was easy, non stressful knowing the date. ( I just wish they would have let us go in a little bit later, 4:30 am was rough) I didn't sleep the night before because I was just so excited! I do not feel like I missed out on anything not delivering her, because in the end that moment of meeting her was the most amazing moment in my life.

The main reason I am trying for a vbac now is because we really don't have anyone close by to watch our LO for a whole week. Granted if things don't go our way and I have another c/s it will all be fine in the end. I think I am more stressing now since I have no clue when it is going to happen.

colacrock · September 2014

I had a 24 hour labor with my first. I wasn't allowed to have an epidural due to a previous spine surgery so it was a painful 24 hours. I ended up not dilating enough, DS was sunny side up, and my pelvis hadn't opened enough to let him out. So, they put me under anesthesia and I didn't get to hold my son until about 3 hours after he was born. It was all around an awful experience and not something I ever want to think about at length.

I switched my OB and hospital for DS2 and I'm so glad I did. I had a RCS with him and it was a completely different experience from my first. The anesthesiologist was able to place the epidural so I was awake for the surgery and my time in the recovery room was only about 20 minutes. I held my son about 30 minutes after he was born, which was a huge difference from DS1. Recovery was also a lot easier. I needed minimal pain medication when I left the hospital and was feeling almost normal about a week later.

This will be c-section #3 and while I am nervous, I'm also really excited to know the exact date that she will be born. As a PP said, it makes it much really easier to find child care because I know so far in advance and family can plan for it. I also like the fact that I know exactly what to expect, if things go similarly to DS2's birth. I know what the timeline is going to be the morning of my surgery and can think about that instead of all of the unknowns. I'm a very big planner and like to know what is going to happen ahead of time, so it helps me to have an idea.

ETA: Good luck, Labor Buddy!

KatieCC08 · September 2014

My first labor never progresses after induction so I found myself on the operating table at 3 in the morning waiting to meet DD1. I had a RCS for DD2, hoping for a VBAC but it didn't happen (apparently my body doesn't like going into labor!) I'm scheduled for my third section in late October. I'm nervous, anxious and all of the above all over again, however at least I can plan accordingly for care of my older two.

My one big suggestion: listen to the nurses and docs about pain meds. As someone else said above, pain meds can and will make a huge difference in your recovery. If you're comfortable taking something strong than motrin, they'll probably offer you narcotics (like percocet). What I did not know for my first, is that since its a narcotic, even though they prescribe it, you still have to proactively ask for it when you're due for it (if I'm wrong here, others feel free to correct me). They won't just knock on your door and say "time for your percocet"! My husband and I started to keep track of my dosing and times. If I felt I needed it when I was due, I asked for it. The key is to stay ahead of your pain.

Oh ok, maybe one more thing…

My hospital has a policy that c-section mothers are not allowed to keep their newborns overnight in the room with them alone (unless you have your husband or partner stay with you). Basically, since c-section moms are stuck in bed for the first night, you can't jump up and attend to baby if needed. Therefore, all c-sectoin babes are sent to the nursery to sleep. I had my husband overnight for DD1 so I never realized this. DD1 was in the room with us because he could get out of bed quickly. With DD2, husband was home with our other daughter, so it was a surprise to me when they explained that DD2 would be sleeping in the nursery. Just a heads up question you may want to ask.

Best of luck OP!

Jbunny100 · September 2014

I labored 18 hours with DS and then had to get a C section due to no dialating and having my water broken for so long. I was really bummed that I had to get a C section because I was sad about missing the skin to skin you get with a vag birth. The surgeon was awesome and allowed me to still have skin to skin for a couple minutes after he was born.

This time around I am kind of with some of the earlier posts. I am less stressed about lining up childcare for DS because we know the surgery date, but if I go early we will have a little issue. My mother is only arriving the night before the surgery which should be fine as long as my LO stays baking for that long.

Justabean3 · September 2014

My scheduled induction with my first was super stressful. Monday,Nope come back wed, nope, come back Monday....
Ok be back at 6

This was at 41.5 weeks, they kept hoping I would go on my own or at least progress... Never did. I ended up with an emergency C that went so fast I didn't have time to think about it

#2, RCS set time and date at 20 weeks a breeze

#3, RCS... Slightly more stressful bc it is my 3rd. They have stopped labor 2x and his position is already super low and engaged (found that out today) I'm 37 weeks. I hope he makes it the whole time but now I have stress of "when" or "if" again, and others around me banking on my scheduled date

crystal8503 · September 2014

I'm really anxious for my delivery but that has more to do with how my son is going to handle things.

My first experience was horrible and my recovery was even worse. I labored for 26 hours with abnormal contractions for about 24 of those hours (5 minute long contractions every 10 minutes). It was fucking brutal. My recovery took me a good 12 weeks to begin feeling like myself and my husband couldn't have returned to work any earlier than 6 weeks because I was still feeling so awful.

My sister had a RCS and they took my 3 year old niece to get frozen yogurt on the way back from her sister's one week appointment. I was so jealous! I'm hopeful I'll feel that good this time and my doctor has been very reassuring. He doesn't advocate for c-sections often and wants me to do what I feel most comfortable with, but he thinks this is best for me. I've struggled my entire pregnancy with what to do and finally feel at peace with my plan to have a RCS.

munchiemama104 · September 2014

Knowing what to expect is always nice, but sometimes you jump watching horror movies even though you know someone is going to pop out, right? Can you sleep before a big vacation because you are excited it is here? It's easier, but stressful at the same time.

I had one with DD , I did not want it, but didn't realize I could fight a little more to wait. (I had a failed induction and the dr convince me to have one to deal with HBP). So, a part of me feels like I missed out but when it comes down to it, you forget how LO came into this world, you're just happy they are here. Recovery is hard in either delivery, but they are very different.

Just advocate for what you want but be open to what the dr are advising.

I waited until late afternoon for mine and after recovery, visiting hours were over, so I didn't get to see my family, which is what I really wanted.

This time I have a RCS- I would prefer a vbac, but since my belly is fat the dr thinks he wouldn't be able to get in fast enough if there was an emergency. So I set my date as close to my EDD as possible and it's scheduled early afternoon so I won't miss visiting hours again.

SusieBW · September 2014

With DD, I was hoping for an unmedicated natural birth, but wound up with a CS for failure to progress and a failed induction. At 41w, and only 1cm dilated and 0% effaced with my AF levels increasing when they should have been decreasing and my blood pressure bordering on pre-e, I was admitted on a friday evening to be put on cervadil overnight and a plan to try to induce in the morning. The cervadil did nothing to soften my cervix, and nothing changed, so I couldn't be induced. Everyone was getting nervous about my fluid levels and DD being a huge baby and planning a CS for Saturday afternoon just made the most sense. So it wasn't an emergency CS, but it wasn't planned until about 7 hours before it happened, either. I had tons and tons of contractions, but no productive ones and no real labor.

This time, I just scheduled my RCS for next Friday (I'll be 39w, 4d), although I had been hoping to have a VBAC all along, even though I know I'm not a great candidate for it. At 38w,2d, my OB did a cervical check and I haven't progressed at all. Because of my prior CS, I can't have drugs like cervadil to try and soften my cervix for a regular induction, and this baby is also likely going to be huge, so again, it made the most sense to just schedule it. It is kind of a weight off, because at least I can plan for how we're getting to the hospital (DH can't drive), who's watching DD, who's watching the dog, etc., when I'm starting my leave from work, etc. Things could always change and maybe at my 39w appointment next Wednesday, I'll be 4 cm and 60%, but I seriously doubt it. I feel like I've known all along that this was the way it would go, despite all hopes otherwise.

I've often felt a little bummed about "missing out" on a more traditional birth experience, and on the experience I had hoped for, but I've accepted that my body doesn't seem to want to let the babies out naturally.

In the end, I'll have two happy healthy children, and it really doesn't matter how they arrived in the world. DH and I used to joke that at least DD's head was always nice and round, and she never had that newborn conehead look that vaginal birth babies sometimes get at first, and also, at least my vag never got torn up the way some people's do during a vaginal birth. So there's that, right?

krazyinsane · September 2014

I enjoy knowing what day my kids are going to be born and even had DD#2 on my Dad's birthday!

DD#3 we picked because her EDD was Sunday so we begged for the following Monday...(they had moved my EDD up by2 weeks and I was worried they were wrong so I wanted her in AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.) And now for DS although I've been contracting etc we picked his birthday based on DH's work schedule... With the girls he was self employed and now he works for the hospital.

I do get a little sad knowing I'll never have that "It's time" feeling or knowing what it's like to "birth" a baby but this is the way it is and I work really hard to feel back to normal ASAP after surgery since my husband, our children and I don't have much of a choice
B-)

erinchrisitne424 · September 2014

It was nice "knowing" exactly when I was going to have my son, but I ended up going into labor early so that threw that all out the window. However having a scheduled csec is nerve wracking like having any other surgery because you get to think about it as surgery more than as a birth experience. Just my thoughts. RCS this time around and I am nervous again. I think it's because I have had so many sirgies in my life that it just makes me nervous to think about. And k knowing things didn't go on time last time around I wonder if I'll get the same thrill.of going into labor this time. Which I'm really scared of due to the reasons why I have a scheduled RCS.

ss265 · September 2014

I labored for 14 hours with my first and then had a C-section due to failure to progress and his heart rate dropping with each contraction. Turns out he was facing to the side and there is no way I could give birth to him vaginally.

I was devastated when I had my C-section because I did everything I could to avoid it. I was actually in tears during the procedure because I was so terrified (and I am not one who is prone to dramatics or fear).

That being said, I was extremely fortunate to have an incredibly easy C-section recovery and felt almost 100% after 2 weeks. This time around, I am planning a RCS because DS2 is in the exact same position DS1 was in before birth and I just don't think I will be able to birth him vaginally.

I do like knowing (assuming I don't go into labor first) the exact date we will have him because it's easier to coordinate things logistically now that we have DS1. We can also let family know ahead of time so they can coordinate travel plans (my family lives overseas) and visits to the hospital. I am a planner so to me, it's comforting to know the date - I dislike the uncertainty of not knowing when I could go into labor. Since I was in labor with my first, I don't have any regrets about not experiencing labor but if I hadn't labored with him, I can see myself regretting not having that experience.

In my opinion, knowing ahead of time that you will have a C-section is much better than laboring and then unexpectedly having one. If it's scheduled, at least you can mentally prepare yourself and have a birth plan for that option. With my RCS, we are still planning to do delayed cord clamping and DH will do immediate skin to skin with LO since I won't be able to. I will do delayed skin to skin as soon as I am in recovery which barring any complications should be less than 30 minutes after the birth.

sagegoodenough · September 2014

I had the hardest time sleeping the night before my first planned c section (first was an emergency). I went into labor while waiting to go back the second time, third was relaxed but I also felt with both of them I missed out on the surprise birth date part. This time I've already gone in for a c section once, got sewn back shut, and have to have another in anywhere from just over a week, to 3 weeks from now. Not knowing when I'll be back in for surgery is stressful, but as long as you don't get all worked up the night before (especially knowing you can't eat after midnight, then you wake up starving lol!) and get a time in the morning, then it's okay.

mgarcia100914 · September 2014

I went in this past Thursday for my 36 week appt/growth u/s and baby is transverse (long ways across my belly) so OB wanted to schedule CS for 38 weeks bc he says at this point he doesn't expect baby to turn. I am really, really not wanting a CS which I had explained from the beginning. My OB has been fine from the get go on not doing CS unless necessary so I don't feel like he'd push for a CS unless he thought it was necessary. I don't know, I just feel like I'm missing out on that right of passage I guess. I failed my one hour gestational diabetes test and due to a previous stomach surgery I was unable to do the 3 hour test so I'm being treated as if I gave gd but my blood sugars are really borderline and usually very well controlled plus growth u/s shows baby is normal, average size. Due to the gd diagnosis OB says baby would be induced at 39 weeks if he didn't come on his own before. I just feel like I'm missing out on the experience that I expected after these nine months of preparing and I'm not sure if it's because the Dr is impatient and just doesn't want to wait it out or if it's the best thing for me and LO. I guess I just have to trust his judgement?

ghostof5letters · September 2014

I've had two scheduled c-sections, and yes, I was a bit more relaxed. Also, yes, realizing I'll never go into labor and have the stereotypical water breaking scenario (I realize this is rare) does bum me out a bit.

Overall, I loved my c-sections though.

regitron · September 2014

I'm having a scheduled C-section and I honestly feel a sense of relieve knowing that I don't have to go into labor. My husband wont have to waste any of his time off from work which is a big help, we can make the most of his vacation days this way.

Also I'm super anxious to be done with my pregnancy so it's also nice to be able to have it scheduled a whole week before the due date.

bumpuser10309732 · September 2014

My birth ended in a c section. Can I say that I feel like if I knew that's how it would end up that I could've felt more prepared to experience what I did. Also apparently a planned c section has better drugs then doing it on an epidural.

mgarcia100914 · September 2014

I've heard that with emergency c sections is the epi but with scheduled it's the spinal block which I've heard is much better. My cousin is a nurse practitioner and also has had an epi with 1 baby and spinal with the other and she said the spinal is world's better. I've never had either so I don't know from experience and I'm sure it probably varies by person but I think, based off what I've read and been told, would rather the spinal block.

mgarcia100914 · September 2014

I go back for my weekly check up this Thursday plus OB said I will come in for my regular appt that Thursday morning the day of my CS, since my surgery isn't scheduled until 4pm and my appt is 8am, and I plan on asking him to please check him both times and just make sure that he hasn't flipped. I know it sounds dumb, since we are already scheduled and ready to go, but if he turns I'd rather let him come out normally. Even though I know he'd be induced a week early if he hadn't come on his own, per my OB, just due to the gestational diabetes diagnosis.

Want a personalized experience?

Question for c-section moms

Re: Question for c-section moms

Choose Another Board

Search Boards