Preschool problems

chardonnay24 · September 2014

My 3 year old just started preschool last week. We have had 3 sessions so far. He has ASD, which mostly manifests in sensory issues and social delays, and the developmental pedi is watching closely for ADHD. He was in a 2 year old program last year and was very successful with the help of a therapist through ECE.

Last week, on the second day, the preschool director pulled me aside and told me that he was having a lot of trouble. He is not wanting to stay on task or participate in the group activities and is having trouble with another little boy who is being overly affectionate. My kiddo doesn't like to be touched, and this kid is clinging to him - following him around, trying to hold hands and give hugs, and laying his head in his lap at circle time. My son is usually pretty good about saying, "No, thank you", but this kid is not responding, which results in my son being aggressive. He is also struggling with sensory overload because there are 12 kids in a relatively small classroom. He's been spinning, screaming, or behaving otherwise inappropriately when they are asked to be quiet or calm. The director said that they were willing to work with us for a little while, but that this may not be the best fit for him.

Today, I spoke with his new ECE classroom aide who will be working with him in the classroom twice/month. She agrees that the small space and number of children may be too much for him and told me to start looking for a new school. Today when I picked him up, they told me that it's not working out, and we can try having him go for an hour a day (the normal program is 3 hours long) and go from there. Am I wrong in thinking that they are jumping the gun on this? It's only been 3 days and they haven't tried anything else to help him. I also don't think the time is the issue here. He was able to do 1.5 hours in school last year, and did 2.5 and 3 hours at day camp this summer (same facility and more kids) without any issues.

He normally receives private OT and speech once a week and I have him enrolled in a therapist led social skills group this fall. We have been on break from therapy since the end of July because of insurance problems, but we have them all worked out now and he'll be starting therapy again next week. He is a little out of sorts from being out of therapy for the last 7 weeks and he is struggling because we will be having a baby soon (I'm 10 days overdue - so sometime this week!)

I'm a little conflicted about what to do here. Should I pull him out and find another school that may be a better fit? Stick with his current school but deal with the inconvenience of hour long sessions? Fight his current school to keep him in for the full 3 hours and help find another solution to help? Hope that he can get it together after he adjusts to the baby and gets back on track with therapy?

bkeane619 · September 2014

I don't have any advice for you but I am dealing with similar preschool issues and also just started last week. Just wanted you to know someone else is in your boat.

hopecounts · September 2014

I second an ABA based program if at all an option.

DD is thriving in hers .

If not an option then I would see what you're options are in terms of having more direct support (an aide?) for him to help him learn to navigate these types of situations beter.

I also agree that the overly touchy child needs to be handled better as well, this is DD (though not quite to that extent she just likes to give hugs a lot to the kids she likes) and it is one of her goals to teach her socially appropriate boundaries for that behavior.

chardonnay24 · September 2014

Thanks, ladies.

I had a long chat with the director today and we agreed to try 2 hour sessions, plus implement some of the strategies that worked in his classroom last year (visuals, weighted vest at circle time). He had a much better day today and everyone was happier at pick up time.

I'm also going to see about requesting a new therapist through the school district. She seemed to want to give up pretty easily and apparently it was her idea to either shorten his sessions or pull him out entirely. When I spoke with the director, she was surprised that this was not something that the therapist and I had discussed previously.

The ABA classrooms here are full and difficult to get in to. We explored that option last year but he was not considered "delayed enough". If he starts getting kicked out of mainstream preschools, they may consider us, but for now, we're stuck in private schools. I did start looking at other programs and found a couple that were recommended by other ASD moms because of their willingness to work with kids on the spectrum, so I have a back up plan in case it doesn't end up working out.

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Preschool problems

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