Help announcing, with respect to our struggle

chucktgirl · September 2014

My title wasn't very clear, so I'll expand. We are beyond grateful and excited that both our NT and Mat21 came back normal!!! We are now ready to tell our parents next week. I know everyone is different, but for us, we've kept our whole IF battle private. NO one knows we've had 5 IVFs and 2 natural PG losses prior to this pregnancy. I don't want to dwell on it, but I know there will be questions about how I got pregnant at 43. I still feel it's none of people's business, however, I do not want to downplay the magnitude of infertility. I am asking for help with verbiage when sharing our news. For other women who have walked in our shoes and prefer privacy, please share how you told the good news without diminishing the struggle. I also don't want people to think that it's easy just to have IVF and get pregnant.

I was thinking of saying something like this to the parents:
We are so fortunate and grateful that this pregnancy seems to be going well. But we want to share that this was not an easy path for us. We've been infertile for many years, have had extensive medical intervention, and have had multiple losses along the way. It has been the most difficult challenge of our marriage and lives. But the result of all of our hardship over the past five years is your grandchild, and we couldn't be more excited to share this with you!

I am also tempted to add something about keeping the news private, as this is still a high risk pregnancy, due to my multiple previous losses, and we are not counting our chickens until they are hatched. This is also our final attempt, so I want them to know that, too.

Any suggestions, please?

AMShark · September 2014

We haven't made the announcement yet, although a few people, including our mothers, know about our IF struggles.

I just wanted to tell you that I think the language you've suggested in your OP is very good. You've covered a lot of important topics in an eloquent, and to-the-point manner.

I'm curious to see feedback from others, but I think you've already done a wonderful job of describing a difficult situation.

absolutelymaybe · September 2014

I think your wording sounds great.

southernyankeegirl · September 2014

I think that sounds great! Good luck with sharing the news!

pblge · September 2014

First of all, congratulations on your great test results!!!! That's really wonderful news! Second of all, I love your phrasing. I've been working on something similar in my head for when we go really public, but I'm planning on being much more vague. I admire your openness a lot. :x

I'm sure you've thought of this, but be prepared for less than enthusiastic reactions. I have a forty something friend who told her parents about her pregnancy and they were completly shocked, unsupportive, and horrified. They came around before the baby was born (perfect and healthy!), but my friend was totally unprepared for their reaction, so I thought I'd mention it, especially since yours have no idea what you've been going through. Hopefully your relatives are much more sane!!

poohniki · September 2014

Your wording is great.

You may want to add for people to keep you and baby in their prayers as the path may continue to still be bumpy.. But I'm sure you could say it better...

kmc84 · September 2014

Maybe something like:

Since this is a delicate situation, and nothing in life is ever certain, we wish to keep this happy news private until our little one is safe in our arms.

Or something like that.....

lincoln79 · September 2014

I think the wording is great!

I know how hard this all is.

(((Hugs)))

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