I am so tired of...

052806 · September 2014

people constantly saying to me "so, you are hoping for that girl"? I have 2 sons, FYI.

I know people mean well... and I always just say "nope, a healthy baby is all we want".

But WTF? Is there something wrong with my 2 boys that will inevitably leave me empty and feeling like less of a mother if I don't get THAT girl? Are families only complete if they contain both sexes? We are having a third kid to have a third kid... end of story.

And I have been holding out on telling anyone the Harmony results that we have known for 2 weeks now, for this exact reason. Here is how it will go:

Me: "It's a girl"

Them: "Oh, you must be so happy you finally got your little princess!!!"

or

Me: "It's a boy"

Them: "Oh... well at least you already have all the gear/ supplies you need. So you will you try again for a girl?"

/vent

Eta: I know people aren't being malicious- I just find the question irritating.

kellbell1982 · September 2014

I don't think people mean anything by it, my sister has three boys and she's due with her fourth on the same day as me(which is mega exciting) but anyway she wAs told her third was a girl and he ended up being a boy so she hopes for a girl but will be ecstatic with a healthy baby either way. You can't imagine how many people say those same things to her that you are hearing

goofygoff · September 2014

We're in the one and done camp. I can't wait to hear people's reaction to that one. *insert huge gobs of dripping sarcasm here*

mudbug84 · September 2014

goofygoff said:
We're in the one and done camp. I can't wait to hear people's reaction to that one. *insert huge gobs of dripping sarcasm here*

Same with us. People are insisting that we will change our minds once we have one. I am biting my tongue a lot these days...

jpavenski · September 2014

I'm in the same boat, already getting all those comments and we only have 1 boy. It's so annoying! And people keep asking me if we are done if this one is a girl, it's like really?!! I am considering three no matter what this baby is on the other side my hubby wants to be done no matter what this baby is. Especially since they found issues with my son at our first ultrasound last time I was pregnant, I am just dying to get a healthy report this time!

KT416 · September 2014

goofygoff said:

We're in the one and done camp. I can't wait to hear people's reaction to that one. *insert huge gobs of dripping sarcasm here*

I just started to tell people I'm pregnant and I'm already getting "oh when will you have another...." and "oh your second child...." Ugh, it's soo annoying!

I'm just soo grateful to have this child and the road has been hard on us so I'm really not sure if I want to go down there again so will see what the future reactions will be.

RMama2012 · September 2014

yup. I have a boy and have gotten the comments immediately. I am sure you have it worse because they assume the only reason you tried for #3 was to try for a girl.

I find the assumption that another boy will be the "same thing" to be pretty stupid. As if any 2 human beings, same sex or not, are exactly the same.

mandi195 · September 2014

I get this constantly, too. We also have 2 boys. Almost every we've told has said "I'm hoping/praying for a girl for you!" and I usually respond with "please, just pray/hope that we have a healthy baby" (2 previous losses) It drives me bonkers. Would I love to have a little girl, of course. Would I love to have a little boy, of course! I have no preference; just a happy, healthy little one for my DH and I to love.

jpavenski · September 2014

I'm a dance teacher & all my friends & everyone else that teaches with me has girls. So I've been getting the "I'm praying for a girl for you" too! I think people mean well, but it's so awkward it's like how do I answer that?!

mariahd43 · September 2014

I think your response about wanting a healthy baby is perfect

Gotta love the annoying questions that people want to ask you when you're pregnant. It's frustrating!! Deep breath

selena61307 · September 2014

I have 2 girls so we must want a boy that's the only reason we would have tried for a third right. There is no way I'd this is a boy we would want a fourth ever. Nope all about the junk between the legs. It is all I care about.

Lmsq1611 · September 2014

The other annoying thing about this question is that none of us have any control of what sex the baby is. I'm a FTM just hoping for a healthy baby, but every single time someone asks me "what are you hoping for, boy or girl?" I just feel like there is no point to asking this question. I'm hoping for a healthy baby, isn't that enough. And even if I was rooting for one sex over the other, why would I admit that to every random person on the street and then a week or two later publicly announce that my baby is possibly the opposite sex. So then everyone would think you were disappointed in a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Ugh! I don't get people.

mangomimosa · September 2014

I totally had the wrong response to an ex co-worker when she told me she was expecting her 2nd girl and it would be her last pregnancy. My H and I had just been talking about sex selection the night before, and how we would seriously consider it for a 3rd baby if the first 2 were the same (we were full of shit I'm sure) -- but when she told me that, I was like, "Awww.... :::sad tone::: well.... :::slow recovery::: I guess it will be nice for your daughter to have a sister. I always wanted a sister."

I STILL feel guilty about it. I didn't even realize I was being such an ass. I still want to apologize.

ngolimento · September 2014

I don't get the 'box set' mentality for children. Like I seriously don't. You don't get guarantees with sexes. Maybe it's because I grew up a complete tomboy, but I think relying on a vagina for a tea party is dumb as hell.

I will enjoy each kid for thier unique personality, tyvm. I'm not relying on weird gender roles to fulfill some psycho 1950s urge. Hell, I just bought purple pacifiers today even though I don't know the sex. You know why? Because I fucking love the color and don't think it will destroy a boy on contact.

almeyer2013 · September 2014

I totally get it. My sil and brother are expecting a boy in feb, and now everyone turned to us and are like "we really want you to have a girl!"
I never really got the whole "we just want te baby to be healthy no matter what" till these last few days. Honestly just a healthy baby. I don't care if the baby is a girl or boy. I just want it to be happy and healthy.

Anne Mommy · September 2014

We have 2 boys as well. I'm so sick of the girl talk. I know people are unable to mind their own business but it is crazy. My work wants to have a gender reveal party for me. I'm not thinking that is a good idea.

thursday · September 2014

Part of the reason I am on team green this time is because if I have a girl I don't want people to say anything like "another girl". Between my brother and I we have 5 girls and when I was pregnant with my first they were pregnant as well so everyone assumed one of the babies would be a boy. I think people just assume families want atleast one of each gender even if that isn't true.

kcbizme · September 2014

jpavenski said:

I'm a dance teacher & all my friends & everyone else that teaches with me has girls. So I've been getting the "I'm praying for a girl for you" too! I think people mean well, but it's so awkward it's like how do I answer that?!

You tell them, well *insert diety of choice here* has already predetermined that, and we will find out when the time is right. I would rather you just pray/hope for a healthy bundle of joy. Thanks for thinking of me/us though!

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