Vagina too small?

RayRay007 · September 2014

BankerBSN said:

DD just caught a peak of this and couldn't stop staring!

leoandethansmom · September 2014

@BankerBSN‌ how could you have been in the hospital last week? None of us gave you that medical advice.

BayCamp · September 2014

Where on earth an I supposed to find a rutabaga??? Why must this week's comparison fruit/veggie be odd. Now I'll never get properly prepped for birth.

Krisx2 · September 2014

I am just hoping for all our sakes that pineapple is NOT on the list. I haven't done my homework yet.

agsgrrl · September 2014

Nothin like a nice durian scented vagina.

Manateearmz · September 2014

Come on @BankerBSN‌ you know I have a fruit fetish!!!

Manateearmz · September 2014

NikkiMN143 said:
I admit, I only opened this thread because of the title.

And it paid off didn't it?

leoandethansmom · September 2014

@NikkiMN143 and you got a wholeeee lot more than you bargained for, didn't you?

Heidig14 · September 2014

Krisx2 said:
I am just hoping for all our sakes that pineapple is NOT on the list. I haven't done my homework yet.

I was just going to say I'm pretty excited for pineapple week!

leoandethansmom · September 2014

Week 31. Week 31 is week of the pineapple. I have 2 weeks and 2 days to prepare.

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feeshah · September 2014

Heidig14 said:

Krisx2 said:
I am just hoping for all our sakes that pineapple is NOT on the list. I haven't done my homework yet.

I was just going to say I'm pretty excited for pineapple week!

Oh the texture...

bowlwoman · September 2014

Prickly and ribbed for her pleasure.

Krisx2 · September 2014

Slaps said:

Week 31. Week 31 is week of the pineapple. I have 2 weeks and 2 days to prepare.
The pineapple needs to go in sideways!

Leaves on or off...

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[Deleted User] · September 2014

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bowlwoman · September 2014

gradschoolmom1234 said:

Slaps said:

gradschoolmom1234 said:
Wait a minute. Why does it have to go in sideways? The baby doesn't come out sideways (I hope)
I am cruel!
Best to make sure the vaj is nice and slick just incase, so sideways will help with this.

Yeah? Well you're not the boss of me, and I'm putting my pineapple in vertically!

---quote box suckiness---

Definitely vertical, with the leaves on, but upside down. That way you can leave the leaves outside as 1) a handle and 2) a green spiky bush. Body fashion AND childbirth prep.

aggiejenn37 · September 2014

This thread....I just can't. I'm dying laughing!!

Butthenalso- you bishes just got me all terrified of delivery again!!! I can't imagine pushing a cabbage out my vag this week, and I still have 11 weeks to go! :-S

Annaess26 · September 2014

Oh you ladoes crack me up !!!!!!

MaineMama · September 2014

Serious question- I got my H the app that tells them the baby size in equivalent "Man" items (cause you know, our delicate feminine brains understand produce, he needs to know about hockey pucks). So what does he need to do to prepare? I want him to be a good partner in this birth!

agsgrrl · September 2014

MaineMama said:
Serious question- I got my H the app that tells them the baby size in equivalent "Man" items (cause you know, our delicate feminine brains understand produce, he needs to know about hockey pucks). So what does he need to do to prepare? I want him to be a good partner in this birth!

Get a lotta lube for those man items. He's got to be supportive right? He needs to practice too

I'm also looking for good literature on how to prepare my guy for birth, I'm trying to tell him everything I learn as I learn it. Trying to find a good local class too.

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MaineMama · September 2014

ashtonkitty1 said:

MaineMama said:

Serious question- I got my H the app that tells them the baby size in equivalent "Man" items (cause you know, our delicate feminine brains understand produce, he needs to know about hockey pucks). So what does he need to do to prepare? I want him to be a good partner in this birth!

@mainemama What app is this?

Just the Dads and Dads to be one here on TB. This week our is the size of a lunch box, good luck getting that one in honey

smack427 · September 2014

So are we supposed to just lube it up and go by the fruit of the week on our app? Because I'm a cauliflower this week and there ain't no way that's gonna fit. How in the world are my lady parts going to stretch to accomodate a jackfruit at 40 weeks? And how do people do it with no Meds? MERCY

Manateearmz · September 2014

smack427 said:
So are we supposed to just lube it up and go by the fruit of the week on our app? Because I'm a cauliflower this week and there ain't no way that's gonna fit. How in the world are my lady parts going to stretch to accomodate a jackfruit at 40 weeks? And how do people do it with no Meds? MERCY

It's all very scientific, with movable plates on the baby's head and something about your vagina becoming the size of a wind tunnel.

It's the shoulders that get you, those hurt like a motherfather.

smack427 · September 2014

@Manateearmz‌ please tell me that my va-jay will shrink back down to normal size again.

P.S. That reminds me to do my Kegals. I have been slacking.

bowlwoman · September 2014

smack427 said:
@Manateearmz‌ please tell me that my va-jay will shrink back down to normal size again.

P.S. That reminds me to do my Kegals. I have been slacking.

Yes. Six years after having DD2, it can get all tight up in there again.

Feels like the fist time...feels like the very fist time.

Serunatu · September 2014

I'm pretty sure I read you can just blow air in.. It helps with expansion, and stuff.

CandEChicago · September 2014

Serunatu said:
I'm pretty sure I read you can just blow air in.. It helps with expansion, and stuff.

So should we get a fan or put the vacuum on reverse?

Serunatu · September 2014

@CandEChicago, I am going to vote reverse vacuum. The stronger the force the better.

bowlwoman · September 2014

Serunatu said:
I'm pretty sure I read you can just blow air in.. It helps with expansion, and stuff.

OMG, with DD1 my DH read somewhere online that you shouldn't perform oral sex on a pregnant woman because the giver can accidentally blow air into the reproductive works (how and where I'm not exactly sure) and give the woman an air embolism and kill her. He was so worried about it he wouldn't put out at all until I checked with my doctor.

I asked my OB nurse about it at my next appointment, and she looked at me like I was cray-cray. Suffice to say, she said it was ok to go downtown.

smack427 · September 2014

bowlwoman said:

Serunatu said:
I'm pretty sure I read you can just blow air in.. It helps with expansion, and stuff.
OMG, with DD1 my DH read somewhere online that you shouldn't perform oral sex on a pregnant woman because the giver can accidentally blow air into the reproductive works (how and where I'm not exactly sure) and give the woman an air embolism and kill her. He was so worried about it he wouldn't put out at all until I checked with my doctor.

I asked my OB nurse about it at my next appointment, and she looked at me like I was cray-cray. Suffice to say, she said it was ok to go downtown.

I saw this article somewhere a few months ago and shared it with MH. We laughed so hard.

bowlwoman · September 2014

katehgee said:
I skimmed through the weeks to see what my future holds, and there are way too many different kinds of squash. Acorn, regular, butternut...couldn't they think of any other produce?

Apparently the dads get things like hockey pucks and lunchboxes in their tickers. Why don't WE get everyday common household items?

Although, we'd probably freak the week we were power saws...

MaineMama · September 2014

ashtonkitty1 said:

Hey hey ladies, I moved to zucchini today! It's on!

Because all women love Zucchini!

jpagano113 · September 2014

Reading this post in bed was not the wisest thing. I laughed so hard I woke hubby up!! You guys are hilarious!

bowlwoman · September 2014

AJIrishMama said:
As soon as I figure out where the hell to find a rutabaga I can join the party. Maybe I'll just wait til next week - an eggplant could be fun

It took me a bit to realize that "rutabaga" and "rhubarb" are NOT the same. I kept thinking for a few days that baby was pink celery.

MaineMama · September 2014

bowlwoman said:

As soon as I figure out where the hell to find a rutabaga I can join the party. Maybe I'll just wait til next week - an eggplant could be fun
It took me a bit to realize that "rutabaga" and "rhubarb" are NOT the same. I kept thinking for a few days that baby was pink celery.

Rutabaga are usually sold as yellow/wax turnip. You may now join the party

bowlwoman · September 2014

MaineMama said:

bowlwoman said:

AJIrishMama said:
As soon as I figure out where the hell to find a rutabaga I can join the party. Maybe I'll just wait til next week - an eggplant could be fun
It took me a bit to realize that "rutabaga" and "rhubarb" are NOT the same. I kept thinking for a few days that baby was pink celery.

Rutabaga are usually sold as yellow/wax turnip. You may now join the party

-----QBF-----

There was even a picture right there in the ticker. Preggo brain FTW.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

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