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December 2014 Moms
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BD insisting I let him rub my belly. Advice???

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Re: BD insisting I let him rub my belly. Advice???

  • CandEChicagoCandEChicago member
    There are reduced fee legal clinics out there. Several law schools offer clinics as well and they are fully supervised.


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  • JRod13JRod13 member
    Oh hell no.
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  • hollycnhollycn member
    ColeyCannoli said:

    He is trying to exact control over you and your body again. DON'T LET HIM. Why does he deserve you to be nice to him at all? If there was ever a person to be a "bitch" to, it's this guy.

    Yes sounds like a control issue to me. He is grasping at straws to find some way to have influence over you. Stand firm with whatever you are comfortable.
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  • designchicadesignchica member
    summersunshine916 said:
    As someone who has been though DV, you are not breaking the cycle. You need to cut all ties and not even put him on the birth certificate and ban him from the hospital, all of which you can do. By not establishing paternity to begin with it is on him to do all that. Make him work harder he is a loser and you and LO need to run while you still can get out of there because of DV you should be able to get out of your lease as well. 
    I spoke with my lawyer about this.  Unfortunately I need to go after child support now, before LO is even born as I cannot afford to not have child support coming in.  So he will be on the birth certificate.  

    As for getting assistance with low income legal fees, I do not qualify.  I make enough money that I dont' qualify for any assistance of any kind, but I don't make enough to have any extra costs above my cost of living.  I will have to borrow money from my mother to even take him to court for child support.    It's really scary and stressful, but better than being with him.  
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  • ColeyCannoliColeyCannoli member
    edited September 2014
    Okay, try to re-read your own post as if someone else here wrote it. Or if your own baby wrote it about someone they were with. What advice would you give him? You need to value yourself as much as you would value others. Don't let him get into your head like this. You and your LO deserve so much more.
    In memory of the baby Hufflepuff and all the angel babies of D14 <3
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  • CandEChicagoCandEChicago member
    edited September 2014
    designchica said:


    summersunshine916 said:

    As someone who has been though DV, you are not breaking the cycle. You need to cut all ties and not even put him on the birth certificate and ban him from the hospital, all of which you can do. By not establishing paternity to begin with it is on him to do all that. Make him work harder he is a loser and you and LO need to run while you still can get out of there because of DV you should be able to get out of your lease as well. 

    I spoke with my lawyer about this.  Unfortunately I need to go after child support now, before LO is even born as I cannot afford to not have child support coming in.  So he will be on the birth certificate.  

    As for getting assistance with low income legal fees, I do not qualify.  I make enough money that I dont' qualify for any assistance of any kind, but I don't make enough to have any extra costs above my cost of living.  I will have to borrow money from my mother to even take him to court for child support.    It's really scary and stressful, but better than being with him.  


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    The university programs generally don't have income thresholds and you still have DV groups that you can seek out.


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  • amedberyamedbery member
    This is fucking nuts. First, this is clearly manipulation. Second, this is him using your child as a weapon, as leverage. It is sick as all hell - and you had better get used to it. You need to document his behavior and fight to keep him from your child as much as possible. Men have murdered their children to spite their childrens' mother. I hate to be like that, but it is true. Stay away from him. If you ask him to quit contacting you and he keeps it up, that is harassment. Your phone provider can block his calls.
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  • ellinmamaellinmama member
    I'm pretty sure my ex-husband knocked you up.

    Do not let this man near you.
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  • weezy29weezy29 member
    Manipulation 101!! He is using your unborn baby to try to get close to you. I can almost guarantee it has nothing to do with creating a bond.

    Stay away from him! Do not allow yourself to be alone with him or to touch you physically in any way. He doesn't deserve it!!

    As for custody, thank goodness you have documentation about his lies and past domestic abuse. I can't imagine any judge allowing him 50% custody. Also, if you choose to breast feed I think that also limits when he can take the baby.
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  • feeshahfeeshah member
    NO!
    FUCK THAT!
    He forfeited the rights to YOUR body when he cheated and you two broke up. Yes it's his baby too and all that but it's YOUR belly he wants to rub.
    I think he is trying to get his foot back in the door.

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  • path75path75 member
    I say no way he would be rubbing my belly. You have very valid points on other things he can do to prove himself and touching you is not part of it. He will have plenty of time for bonding on his weekends or whatever arrangements you guys decide after little one is born. 


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