how did the baby do when you went back to work

lest12 · September 2014

I know I'll be a wreck, but how did your little ones do? Cry in dad's face the entire day? Smile and giggle for Nana like they didn't notice you were gone?

How did they do?

Just curious. I'm still home for a while but lately I feel like the baby is going to think I'm deserting him... even if I'm just leaving him with DH.

sm623 · September 2014

My LO did fine. My MIL watches her, but I worried that she would cry all day because I was really the only one who could soothe her since she was EBF.

I can't remember who suggested it on here, but I slept with a blanket each night for the first few week or so to send with her. I think between that and having expressed breastmilk there were enough reminders of me that she was fine.

She does eat a lot most days (anywhere between 10 and 20 oz. in about 9 hours depending on the day) and I have to pump like crazy to keep up with her so that my freezer stash doesn't disappear.

nicolewhelan · September 2014

My LO did great too, so did I actually. I have a friend that I've know for 20 years watching him. She has 2 girls, 3 and 9 months. He doesn't seem phased at all when I drop him off or pick him up (he'll be 2 mo tomorrow). Well I take that back. He figured out smiling a week ago and so when I get there (and if he's awake) he is all smiles which I love.

You'll be fine. Just keep yourself busy at work. If you have a friend/family member watching, ask them to send you a text just to reassure you that everything is going good. Good luck!

texasmama2014 · September 2014

She did too well, until I got back. She lost her mind and acted so upset with me. My heart broke!!
While I was gone as slept and played and ate her bottles, no issues whatsoever.

lest12 · September 2014

Oh, @sjdihle! I'd feel the same way!

Glad to hear your Lo's did ok! I am getting anxious. DH works nights, so he'll be home with him during the day. I've been trying to let him practice soothing the baby without me stwpping in but since I'm srill physically around, it's tough on all of us... just makes me nervous!

Savvy122 · September 2014

I only worked for a week, then continued my maternity leave, so I think it was easier knowing that I only had to get through 5 days. My SIL watched the boys for us and she said D was super fussy the first morning I was gone... but was completely fine after that. And the smiles I got to come home to were the absolute best. They're resilient little things... it's tougher on US than it is on them!

lest12 · September 2014

Thanks, @Savvy122‌! That was exactly what I needed to hear, lol.

amackattack · September 2014

I'll be going back to work on Monday full time. I have left LO a few times with her dad and once with a friend but have never been away from her for more than 4 hours. They said she was fussy for part of the time but she is fussy for me too sometimes so I'm not reading into it. She is definitely starting to recognize that she spends most her time with me and prefer that so I am almost glad that since I will be going back it will happen soon. Any longer and I think the transition would be much harder for both of us as she gets more and more attached/dependent.

ELC252011 · September 2014

I go back to work in 2 weeks and I'm so afraid all she will do is cry!!! I'm glad you posted this. I'm hoping the it will go by smoothly.

lest12 · September 2014

Me too @ELC252011‌! Good luck!

kks4471 · September 2014

DH took my first week of work off, and they both did great. When I got home the first day, LO gave me a look of "oh hey mom, you're home". He was totally cool, not upset at all. Yesterday was his first daycare stay, and again, he was relaxed when I picked him up. She said he was a little fussy in the morning from missing me, and that broke my heart. He did much better after his morning nap, so I'm hoping today will be better for both of us. Overall, not too bad!

shellbell813 · September 2014

He took a couple of days to adjust a bit. New schedule and smell and all that. But after that first week, he's now doing great. He's with my mom so I don't worry too much. I still insist on a weekly lunch and pictures and videos all day which really helps me. But he is fine. And he still seems to love his time with me. (Which was my biggest fear)

SarahS11 · September 2014

My baby is doing much better than I am with the whole situation! She hasn't even had a bad day at daycare... while I sit at work thinking how I should be with her! Dang mommy guilt! I wish I could be the one to stay home with her and teach her and play with her... but we decided it is good for her to get the interaction, and we want money to not be horribly tight so we can take her on adventures when she gets older. Somehow deep down I know I am doing the right thing for our family, and I do like my job, but it makes me sad when our daycare provider tells me about DDs day and I didn't get to have all of those experiences with her.

MamaTree17 · September 2014

My DD didn't do great - not gonna lie - but either did my first DD so I was expecting it. Neither were ever great at the bottle so I prepped myself knowing it would be a struggle. She will never eat as much out of a bottle as she will breastfeeding. They're at an in-home daycare so not huge (5) kids but more then at our house obviously so adjusting to the noise so she can nap is a learning experience too. It breaks my heart to know that she struggles on some days but she's always super smiley when I pick her up which helps!

katekat8721 · September 2014

Lest I go back in 2 weeks and DH will watch the girls when I go to work. I have the sads about it too. Hang in there mama!

lest12 · September 2014

Thanks @katekat8721! How is your DH feeling? Nervous? Prepared? I'm trying to figure out how to make it easier for him, but I think he just has to do it. He works nights too, so his days are going to be soooo long lol.

ELC252011 · September 2014

Thanks @lest12‌ ill keep my FX for both of us!

b48kate · September 2014

Already having panic attacks about this and I don't go back until late October. Anyone work 12 hour shifts and has already returned? I am going to basically miss three full days of his awake time every week...ugh!

Rei2metse · September 2014

I returned to work this week and LO is in daycare. Per the reports he seems to be adjusting fine and the teachers just love on him all day. I'm assuming with all the stimulation it wears him out bc he slept 9 hours! I take him in around 7a and I don't get home until after 7p. He goes to bed around 8:30p so I barely see him awake and we've never been apart for this amount of time before. I recommend getting some bonding time with LO daily (I breastfeed) to help with your sanity and LO's comfort. DH knows, before I can start dinner mommy must spend with her little guy. It's not easy, but motherhood has been an exhilarating challenge and look how far we've come already! And remember, no one can replace mommy!

babyglo350 · September 2014

This has been on my mind as I am going back to work in 2 weeks

He will be staying with my parents and already has a good bond with them but I'm still pretty bummed. Thanks for posting this. It's helpful to hear positive experiences.

katekat8721 · September 2014

lest12 said:

Thanks @katekat8721! How is your DH feeling? Nervous? Prepared? I'm trying to figure out how to make it easier for him, but I think he just has to do it. He works nights too, so his days are going to be soooo long lol.

I think he's feeling torn. Our situation is weird. The plan was for me to SAH and for him to work, but there are like no jobs where we're at right now, we don't want to move, and we can't afford daycare for him to keep interning (unpaid) while I work. We'd both rather me be the one to SAH or work PT but that's not in the cards right now.

He is a true partner though when it comes to taking care of the babies. He's up every MOTN feed, he changes them, takes them on walks, loves and feeds 'em, yadda yadda. Because of that he already feels comfortable taking care of them and I feel more comfortable leaving them when I do go back!

To make it easier for him maybe when you get home you can lay out things the way he likes that way the morning runs smoothly for him? Kind of like prepping the area for his shift!

lest12 · September 2014

I understand, @katekat8721. We do what we gotta do! I wish I could stay home but we just can't afford to cut our salaries in half... and DH would rather work days so we can have nights together but then we'd have to pay for daycare. It just is what it is and I keep telling myself that all of this is just to give Luka the best that we can.

That's in no way a reflection on anyone else's choices, situations, etc. Just what I have to tell myself everytime I think about leaving him every day!

That is a good idea, though, thanks! I also need to let them have some man time together so DH gets more comfortable with everything. Like today. I'm getting a pedicure and they went to autozone lol.

lest12 · September 2014

babyglo350 said:
This has been on my mind as I am going back to work in 2 weeks He will be staying with my parents and already has a good bond with them but I'm still pretty bummed. Thanks for posting this. It's helpful to hear positive experiences.

I'm glad others are finding the post helpful! We are all in it together, Right?

irenewslee · September 2014

Same here! Going back to work in two weeks but starting daycare next week. I am so nervous and I am starting to get worried. I know i am going to miss her terribly. A few weeks ago I thought I would be so relieved to get some adult time... Guess not! Plus she has been very clingy lately so I am worried that the daycare may just leave her crying all day.

kks4471 · September 2014

@Internationalkate‌ I work two 10 hour shifts, but with my commute, I'm away for 12 hours. Today is one of those days, and I miss him so much. He's doing ok with the daycare, and great with DH now. I'm leaving in 5 minutes, thank goodness!

pinkchloe · September 2014

DS had 3 half days at daycare this week. First 2 days were fine, but he cried much of the day today, fussed at the bottle and barely ate anything. He fell asleep nursing when I got home and was fine after that, but now I'm nervous about bringing him back next week

lest12 · September 2014

@irenewslee - Luka has been a little extra clingy lately, too... it's like it gives me a liiiiiiittle something extra to worry about, lol.

Brittnic531 · September 2014

My LO is in full time day care and has been since 6.5 weeks. It's definitely harder on me than her. Everyone loves her and when I walk down the hall, you can hear the older kids get excited that she's there.

. I get a daily report on what she did that day, if she was happy, fussy, sleepy, etc. when she had her bottles, how much she drank, and when she gets her diaper changed and what type of diaper it was. They also write down when she naps. It makes me feel better knowing what goes on during the day and that they are honest if she doesn't have the greatest day. Pretty early on, I did talk to them about when I wanted them to call... For instance, if she is upset and inconsolable, they are supposed to call me after waiting no longer than an hour. She's so little that if she's that upset, something is wrong and it have me peace of mind, knowing that they would call me. Her teacher is really sweet and LO always has big smiles for her. It's tough and I leave my heart there everyday, but it's what's best for our family.

irenewslee · September 2014

DD started daycare today and my work officially start next week. She did pretty well and took 2 naps. She normally eats every 4 hours so i prepped two 5oz bottles and a few frozen bags for storage. Looks like the daycare hasnt quite figured out her schedule yet and just fed her whenever she rooted (which she also does when she is tired). So she ended up eating more than she normally would (they defrozed one frozen bag). I looked at the time report and saw that she basically ate every 3 hours. Should I say something or just let the daycare figure it out? I am just worried that i wont make enough milk if they continue to do that. I barely make enough for her on most days.

amackattack · September 2014

@irenewslee I would give it a few days and see how it goes. It takes everyone awhile to get into a routine! Could you split it up into 2 3 oz bottles and one 4 oz, then baby could eat every 3 hours? Just a thought!

Baby has done fine at daycare the past two days. My H gets her ready in the morning and then I pick her up in the afternoons. She slept a little over 2.5 hours while there for the past 2 days, and finished all her bottles except one which she left .5oz. All in all I'd say she's doing way, WAY better than I'm doing (weepy, emotional, anxious mess).

mrscbrad · September 2014

My little boy is loving hanging out with my mom! He's been super tired in the afternoon from playing so much but he's been napping well so far. He isn't eating as much as normal but he's been reverse cycling a little bit too. He's doing better than I am but my mom has been sending me videos and pictures everyday.

irenewslee · September 2014

@Lcgroenewe‌ The daycare is basically feeding her every time they cannot soothe her or when she is tired. I understand they dont have the time or patience to soothe her like I do. But yesterday I was so mad at them. Because they fed her so much, they ran out of milk and went ahead and gave her formula. DD has not taken formula since week 3 (after I stopped supplementing). I told them before that I am not working this week so if they need anything, they should just call me. Luckily DD doesnt have a sensitive tummy and was ok last night. I am surprised that DD took all that milk. I think she drank like 15oz during the 6-7 hours she was there. She wasnt hungry until almost bedtime.

amackattack · September 2014

@irenewslee did you tell them they could give her formula if they ran out of your milk or did they just take it upon themselves to decide that?? 15 oz in 6-7 hours does sound like a lot which is why I was thinking if you split up the 10 into three smaller feedings maybe that would still soothe her? Or give them a list of other things they could try to soothe her if you haven't already? I agree with you though...I would be very mad if my daycare did this especially if I hadn't given them permission to supplement. My babe eats three times in the 7 ish hours she is at daycare and eats 3.5 oz at a time...which I am working on upping to 4. I told them 3 naps and 3 feedings a day....they try their best to follow my schedule but sometimes it gets wonky. As long as she gets enough food and sleep, has enough dirty diapers and they keep her happy I try to let it go! Good luck!

@hampire mine has been napping about 2.5 hours at daycare every day...I wish she'd nap more but that's probably about what she napped when I was on ML. I am also sooo anxious. I feel better and better as the evening goes on and I spend more and more time with her. I generally start off feeling okay in the morning, progressively feel worse and worse throughout the day, feel pretty bad when I pick her up, and start to feel better throughout the evening. It is so hard, and I don't want to be discouraging, but I just don't see how my emotions can handle this long term. She seems to be doing fine though.

SarahS11 · September 2014

@hampire I am having the same crappy low moment! Most days when I pick DD up from daycare, our provider will say, "Well she didn't have any great, long naps"... So I get her home, she gives me a few smiles, eats, and then naps until bedtime. I just want to stay home, snuggle her so she can get in some naps, and have a happy baby to play with in the evenings.

irenewslee · September 2014

@Lcgroenewe‌ I did yestetday and split up the bottles to two 4 oz and two 3 oz and they fed her everything. H thinks if LO would take it, that means she is hungry and I hve not been feeding her enough! WTF! I highly doubt DD would not scream for milk if she is hungry which is what she normally does. Anyway, I now try to feed her very little in the evening and do one normal feeding before bedtime.

@hampire‌ I have the opposite problem where DD would not sleep. She goes down around 9pm and then wakes up between 12-1 and WOULD NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP. Last night she was up til almost 4. I love to cuddle and hang around with her but the no sleep is killing both H and I. She doesnt even sleep that much at daycare (one 2 hr nap in the morning and two 0.5 hr in the afternoon).

Brittnic531 · September 2014

irenewslee said:

@Lcgroenewe‌ The daycare is basically feeding her every time they cannot soothe her or when she is tired. I understand they dont have the time or patience to soothe her like I do. But yesterday I was so mad at them. Because they fed her so much, they ran out of milk and went ahead and gave her formula. DD has not taken formula since week 3 (after I stopped supplementing). I told them before that I am not working this week so if they need anything, they should just call me. Luckily DD doesnt have a sensitive tummy and was ok last night. I am surprised that DD took all that milk. I think she drank like 15oz during the 6-7 hours she was there. She wasnt hungry until almost bedtime.

Dang-it. Stuck in the box.

@irenewslee- I EFF and ran into a similar problem with daycare. When we first started daycare, I fixed her the amount of bottles she would have taken at home with me, plus an emergency bottle. Well, she drank all of the bottles I fixed and according to the daycare, she was eating every 2 hours. TOTALLY unlike her. This went on for awhile and I was concerned that they were just sticking a bottle in her mouth every time she was fussy and not trying to soothe her. This also made me concerned that they were overfeeding her causing her to spit up more which she already has reflux. LO also wouldn't sleep well at daycare because they have to put her on her back which, at the time, she wouldn't sleep on her back because it made her uncomfortable with her reflux. As time went on and talking with her teacher and my mom, we figured out that she was burning more calories because she was awake more, being more stimulated by everything going on, that she was just getting hungry sooner. She also cried a lot at the beginning because we were still trying to manage her reflux. I felt so much better asking questions and figuring out how things were handled and then fully understanding why her routine was different at daycare than at home. I hope you can figure things out yourself!

hampire said:

Baby T has been at daycate 2 days (counting today). He doesn't fuss when I hand him over but I cry. I popped in at lunch both days and he was napping peacefully. According to his report paper he spent most of yesterday napping. So he's chill. I fluxuate between crying and this shakey anxious feeling though.

I know how tough it is... hugs!!! I'm going on 6 weeks with LO in FT daycare and although I don't cry everyday anymore, I still leave my heart with someone else. I hated it when people told me that it would get easier, so I'm not going to say it to you, BUT I do want to say that I have begun to accept that this is how it has to be... I don't have to like it. I try to tell myself that I am taking care of her by providing for her, and I want her to grow up to know that she can have a career and a family too. It's not the way I would prefer to take care of her, but I am none the less. I also want to say that it took awhile for LO to become adjusted to her new schedule. She would sleep most of the evening as well. Because it was so emotional for me at the beginning, I would just hold her while she slept in the evening... at the time, nothing was worth giving up that time and dishes and laundry piled up, but it was what we (*I*) needed. I've been lucky to find a daycare that puts up with my FTM neuroticism, and I hope that you are comfortable with your daycare! PM if you need to talk!!!

amackattack · September 2014

@Brittnic531 did your LO start to be awake more in the evenings after awhile? Mine seems more sleepy in the evenings but I let her sleep for a little and then wake her bum up and play with her until 10.

Brittnic531 · September 2014

Lcgroenewe said:

@Brittnic531 did your LO start to be awake more in the evenings after awhile? Mine seems more sleepy in the evenings but I let her sleep for a little and then wake her bum up and play with her until 10.

Yes! I don't remember how long it took though, sorry. But we're into a routine now, that once we get home, we have about an hour or two before her next bottle and she might take a short 20-30 min nap. After her bottle (which is her last one of the night), she's up for another two hours before going to sleep for the night. I'm pretty lucky to have a good sleeper (now... it was rough the first weeks). I promise it will get better!

amackattack · September 2014

@brittnic531 I would like to love that 10 times.

Brittnic531 · September 2014

Lcgroenewe said:

@brittnic531 I would like to love that 10 times.

-stupid box-

***hugs*** Leaving LO at daycare has been one of the hardest things I've ever done but I'm so grateful that we found a great place where everyone loves her.

H&H2014 · September 2014

I'm so worried about daycare. The only thing that calms dd when she's really upset is the boob. What's going to happen when it's gone for eight hours?!

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