Give me a solution...or tell me it will end soon!

awalter5110 · September 2014

I haven't been around much lately, but once you read this you will know why.

For about 2-3 weeks now, we have been dealing with hell on earth. DD is a month old tomorrow. Every night, around 9pm give or take she goes insane. She will cry non stop until 1am. Some nights it's shorter, like 9-12, or 11-1, etc. but always happens every single night. We take shifts and DHs shift is when she is at her worst. I have to sleep first because he needs to get his sleep before work in the morning.

I feel horrible that he deals with it every night but I don't know what else to do. We try gas drops, gripe water, even switched her to sensitive formula thinking maybe it was a belly issue. Nothing. No improvement.

What I want to know is, is this shit normal? You cannot for the life of you settle her. We have tried it all. Feeding her, changing her, burping her, swaddling her, pacifier, and the gripe water and gas drops. DH is at his wits end and I'm not far behind. I can't sleep half the time because I hear her crying. We got an air purifier to try and drown out the noise but it doesn't drown it out completely.

Then she is fine the rest of the night and day. It's like a mind fuck. Please tell me there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Otherwise I'm shipping her to Mexico. Lol.

BeachM · September 2014

It gets better especially after 12 weeks. One night you will realize it didn't happen. With my first it was 5-11pm every day. I wanted to run away and it even made DH cry (he never cries and is normally amazing in high stress situations).

In addition to Happiest Baby on the Block have you tried a swing? Going outside for a bit can help "reset" them. Not what you want to do at midnight but maybe when it starts up at 9?

It does get better. These are the things you will mentally block if and when you decide to have another baby.

awalter5110 · September 2014

theteno said:
Our pedi said colic ends at 3 months, maybe something like this will end too? Have you tried the happiest baby on the block 5 Ss?

Never heard of it until now! May have to give that a try.

MandMLeona · September 2014

You're describing the witching hour. Some babies have a real tough time at the end of the day. I suggest happiest baby on the block so you can combine the 5 S's to get her calm. Other things to try...put her in a wrap and go for a walk, put her in the bathroom with the shower and fan running, do something with her...sounds counter intuitive, but the more I tried to snuggle this LO in a dark room and encourage sleep, the more frustrated she got. Last night I swaddled her (she hated it for the first 30 minutes) and took her into our older daughters' brightly lit room to participate in their bed time. She was out much faster.

Also note, a change in diet can take 3 weeks before you see the results.

ETA:6 weeks is a normal growth spurt time. My breastfed babies tend to cluster feed before bed around then. Could she need a little more formal temporarily?

awalter5110 · September 2014

flip_flops said:
It gets better especially after 12 weeks. One night you will realize it didn't happen. With my first it was 5-11pm every day. I wanted to run away and it even made DH cry (he never cries and is normally amazing in high stress situations).

In addition to Happiest Baby on the Block have you tried a swing? Going outside for a bit can help "reset" them. Not what you want to do at midnight but maybe when it starts up at 9?

It does get better. These are the things you will mentally block if and when you decide to have another baby.

We have a swing but once she's crying it's like eff you and all of your gadgets I don't want them. Lol. I'm wondering if we should try to just put her in there even if she's crying like crazy and let her sit for a few minutes? Maybe we give up to easily. I don't know. I hate the guess work. Lol.

awalter5110 · September 2014

MandMLeona said:
You're describing the witching hour. Some babies have a real tough time at the end of the day. I suggest happiest baby on the block so you can combine the 5 S's to get her calm. Other things to try...put her in a wrap and go for a walk, put her in the bathroom with the shower and fan running, do something with her...sounds counter intuitive, but the more I tried to snuggle this LO in a dark room and encourage sleep, the more frustrated she got. Last night I swaddled her (she hated it for the first 30 minutes) and took her into our older daughters' brightly lit room to participate in their bed time. She was out much faster.
Also note, a change in diet can take 3 weeks before you see the results.
ETA:6 weeks is a normal growth spurt time. My breastfed babies tend to cluster feed before bed around then. Could she need a little more formal temporarily?

We do make more if she seems to still be hungry but the bottle seems to just piss her off. She will suck for 5 seconds and then start screaming. Or she will fuss through the whole bottle. I am going to get this happiest baby thing, I will try anything at this point lol

awalter5110 · September 2014

cricketsue4u said:

So sorry you are dealing with this. Not fun! Have you tried skin-to-skin? That's what I've done when LO will not settle to eat. Also agree with @flip_flops‌ about going outside. That has helped both my daughters. Maybe try singing to her or some white noise? Hope you figure out something to give you some relief. Hang in there!

Haven't tried skin to skin, but have tried holding her in different positions to get her to eat. I will have to try that!

rockyrollgirl · September 2014

It does get better. DD1 was like that and would only calm down if she was carried. I forget when she stopped, but she sleeps 8 hours at night now.

The only thing I would guess is over-stimulation or baby is over tired. Very hard to get them to calm down when they are like that. Is baby getting enough sleep during the day?

awalter5110 · September 2014

navyandgray said:

I went through the same thing with my first. It started her second day of life and went on every night for about 6-8 weeks. It tapered off slowly but weeks 0-4 were the worst. Like pp said, its called the witching hour and stems from babies not being able to process all the stimulation from the day. It's like their brains/bodies short circuit from everything they experienced that day. Their response is to scream effing murder for several hours. You will get through this! (And you will forget just how crappy it is and may even want another baby). Hang in there!

Yes!! That was one of my theories, that she was just over stimulated and over tired. Everyone says keep her up for the 2 hours before you want her to go to bed, and we tried this for a few days and she was what I assume was very over stimulated and over tired which made her fight sleep. I don't know how to keep her up without over stimulating her though! Its so frustrating when you have never done this before, its like you have no idea what the hell to do so you just start throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks! Lol

rockyrollgirl · September 2014

awalter5110 said:

navyandgray said:

I went through the same thing with my first. It started her second day of life and went on every night for about 6-8 weeks. It tapered off slowly but weeks 0-4 were the worst. Like pp said, its called the witching hour and stems from babies not being able to process all the stimulation from the day. It's like their brains/bodies short circuit from everything they experienced that day. Their response is to scream effing murder for several hours. You will get through this! (And you will forget just how crappy it is and may even want another baby). Hang in there!

Yes!! That was one of my theories, that she was just over stimulated and over tired. Everyone says keep her up for the 2 hours before you want her to go to bed, and we tried this for a few days and she was what I assume was very over stimulated and over tired which made her fight sleep. I don't know how to keep her up without over stimulating her though! Its so frustrating when you have never done this before, its like you have no idea what the hell to do so you just start throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks! Lol

I wouldn't keep her up for 2 hours or try to keep her up on purpose. That is just me though.

I would keep things pretty low-key before bed time and let her slowly adjust.

pmpkn219 · September 2014

This is witching " hour ", love, and it sucks... But will end!!! Get Happiest baby book and/or DVD, stat!! The 5 S's should buy you some relief

Eta: also see purplecrying.info

awalter5110 · September 2014

rockyrollgirl said:

It does get better. DD1 was like that and would only calm down if she was carried. I forget when she stopped, but she sleeps 8 hours at night now.

The only thing I would guess is over-stimulation or baby is over tired. Very hard to get them to calm down when they are like that. Is baby getting enough sleep during the day?

Oh yes, I feel some days she gets too much and that could contribute to not wanting to sleep when its time to! I want to get her into a routine but I have no idea how to force a routine on her. My MIL keeps saying give her a bath/wipe her down every night around 8 and then keep her up til 10, then put her down for the night. We haven't tried it though because I don't want to dry out her skin or something. But honestly I am ready to start trying it and see what the heck happens because there has to be something that will make her calm down. I have that nighttime bath stuff so I am thinking of using it.

TCMom78 · September 2014

I have experienced varying degrees of this with my 3, the one thing that never fails is to put them in a sling or carrier (or strong arms) and bounce them sitting on an excercise ball. The rhythm helps them , and you will build core strength! The carrier helps prevent back ache for mom and dad--

BeachM · September 2014

Keeping a child up with the hopes they will sleep longer is a disaster pretty much forever. I do not understand why people give that advice. Sleep begets sleep.

Yes, for an older baby or child a late nap might delay bedtime. But keeping a kid up purposefully backfires nearly every time.

noycela · September 2014

You could try taking her to a chiropractor that works with babies. There are some essential oils that can help calm babies too - lavender and chamomile are good (add a couple drop to a bath or dilute with a carrier oil and rub on baby's tummy or bottom of feet). I use doTerra oils. These things, as well as taking all dairy out of my diet (I'm BFing), have helped a lot with DS and his night time freak outs.

SM0524 · September 2014

Chiropractor! Worked wonders with DD1 and she was exactly like you are describing. Outside and car rides helped sometimes as well.

shevaCC · September 2014

I completely agree with @flip_flops‌. Keeping a newborn awake is the quickest way I know to piss them off. When DS gets overtired, it's like you describe a switch flips and he becomes inconsolable. Then it takes a monumental effort to get him to sleep, which is the only way I've found to fully reset the freak out.

I'm sorry you're going through this -- a screaming baby can quickly drive you nuts. We only have it happen a few times a week right now and I hate it. I successfully blocked out this part of DD as a newborn.

Swaddling baby, holding them, and bouncing on a yoga ball helped some for us. But for my kids it took 2-5 minutes of bouncing before they started calming down. Really loud shushing also sometimes helped, but also only after a few minutes of it. I hope you find something that helps soon!

daisymama · September 2014

Others have offered great advice, so I'll just chime in to say that it will get better! It seems like every area got a little easier around the 12 week mark, so hang in there! Take breaks as you can and just try to remember: this too shall pass!

jlynn62511 · September 2014

We have that around 8-10 every night. We try to establish a routine so she can learn its night time. It took us a few weeks to get to where we are now.

Here is what we do:
I bathe her around 8:30 she loves baths and it quiets her down. Then we feed her and swaddle her in a swaddle me. We feed her in the dark, sitting on the toilet with the bathroom fan on. We change her after because she always poops and put her in her boppy pillow in our bed. Once she quiets down and is almost asleep, I transfer her to the crib. I usually go back and forth putting paci back in her mouth a few times.

Sometimes when she is really fussy, I put her in the Moby wrap. And clean up around the house and run the vaccum.

Biggest suggestion I have is to try to soothe her before she really freaks out and screams, I feel like once I was at that point nothing worked and we just had to deal with the screaming.

SherryBaby2014 · September 2014

No advice just sympathizing here. We have had weeks of DD crying/screaming for about 80% of her awake times day and night. Now on acid reflux meds and we've seem to have done a 180.

Anyways the hours of crying can make you crazy. Take turns with others, try lots of different things, and sometimes just walk away for a little when you feel like you've tried everything. My husband also utilized ear plugs to help him manage.

jenniferurs · September 2014

Like others have said, it would probably be in your and baby's best interest not to try to force a schedule at that age. Keeping your baby up purposefully will only cause them to become overtired and will result in the behavior that you're seeing. And while it seems to be common sense that the more baby sleeps during the day, the less sleep he/she will need at night, research has actually proven the opposite to be true. So hold off on developing a strict bedtime routine until he/she is ready for one, because I think it's clear that at this stage, he/she is not.

awalter5110 · September 2014

Thank you all for the advice! Hoping we can make a breakthrough soon, otherwise we will be living on the funny farm. Lol. Glad to know we are not alone also!

evatch · September 2014

Ahhh the witching hour ... My baby is basically attached to my boob from 8-11pm. I suggest getting a body carrier (I got the KTan and love it!) and putting the baby in there.

It does suck but just remember, all they want is to be loved by you - how could you deny them that.

Also - I found a couple of Facebook groups to join. It helped me see what other people were experiencing and how some veteran moms handled it!

Good luck!