December 2014 Moms

Father's Age

I'm curious because maternal age is discussed pretty often in society, at what age are your SOs becoming fathers? (Or at what age did your past/present SO first become a father) More specifically I wonder how age affects certain aspects of how a man reacts to fatherhood. My fiancé will be 37 shortly after baby is born and this is his first child. He's extremely excited.

He's gotten quite a few "what the hell" looks and comments from people, mostly from peers who had children in late teens/early 20s. We don't care but it gets my wheels turning.

Thoughts, experience or any input?
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Re: Father's Age

  • edited September 2014
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  • My hubby will be almost 28 when baby is born
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  • We had DD when dh was 31 and this one when he is 33. He is/was really excited. He doesn't always show it, but I hear him talk to his friend about parenthood and it's really cute the things he has to say.
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  • MH will be 28 when Little Dude is born.  I'm 26.  Sometimes people think we're too young, but I think raising children when you young is "easier".  Mostly because I saw my Dad (who was 46 when my brother was born) struggle to keep up.
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  • Looks like we're the young ones. Ill be 26 when baby arrives and hubby wont be 24 til March. Well be married for 3 years come December and the pregnancy was planned. We are both ecstatic and so are our families. For him, it will be interesting to see how many of his friends stick around. None from home have kids or wives but we lived the military life and all his USMC brothers have wives and kids. I can say Im curious if he will become more financially responsible once LO gets here though.
  • My husband is 5 years younger than me (robbing the cradle, lol) and when our first son was born, he was 30.  It's typical around here for people to marry much younger, so a lot of our friends have older children.  Some of the girls I graduated from high school with are becoming grandmothers this year!  Some have kids who just started college.  (I'm 37)  So yeah, we may have gotten a few comments about our ages.  ;)

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  • WHAT?? 37 is not old for a man to be having his first child! I can't imagine anyone side-eyeing or making comments about that. 

    My husband was 39 when our daughter was born and he'll be 41 with this baby is born. He's a great dad, very hands on, and super excited about baby #2. He cried when baby #1 was born and still gets choked up when he sees her birth pictures. Quite frankly, he still acts like an idiot teenager so much that I forget he's already 40!!

    I didn't know my husband when he was in his 20s, but from what I've heard he was extremely irresponsible and reckless, so I'm glad I didn't know him or have children with him then. 
  • My DH is a year older than me and will be 28 when LO is born. He's a great guy but he would've been too immature for this five years ago (me too for that matter). He still gets nervous but he's so much more sure of himself now.
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  • MH is 37, I'm 28, and this is our first child.  I did have a few comments about me having a LO "so young" and that it was probably because "he was ready".  When really having a child at this time was a completely mutual choice. 
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  • The only thing that bothers me is that he didn't think he could have kids (been together 7 years and he'd been in a decade long relationship before me with no luck) and now that we know he obviously isn't "shooting blanks" I'm getting pressure from him to hurry up and get #2 popped out right away. Can I birth one and see if I can keep her alive for a couple years first ? FTM problems :)
  • This is our third and I'm 30 and my hubs is 40.
  • DH is 29 and will be 30 shortly after AJB is born. He is an only child and even though he is an elementary school teacher has no experience with infants. This is going to be fun. 
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  • My husband is 37 and this will be his first, I am 32. Honestly, we are the first in our group of friends to have kids many of who are married.
  • My husband is 5 years younger than me (robbing the cradle, lol) and when our first son was born, he was 30.  It's typical around here for people to marry much younger, so a lot of our friends have older children.  Some of the girls I graduated from high school with are becoming grandmothers this year!  Some have kids who just started college.  (I'm 37)  So yeah, we may have gotten a few comments about our ages.  ;)

    Yeah I have a couple friends that are or are becoming grandmothers but I'm 5-10 years younger than most of my friends :)
  • DH was 31 when DS was born and will be 34 when this LO arrives.
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  • DH will be 39 when our boy is born. I'll be 33. This is a first child for both of us. 

  • Hazel622 said:

    MH is 37, I'm 28, and this is our first child.  I did have a few comments about me having a LO "so young" and that it was probably because "he was ready".  When really having a child at this time was a completely mutual choice. 

    I'm 29, I guess 28 is the "young" cut off haha. Nobody says anything about me being young,darn it :)
  • This is our first, SO is 36 and I'll be within days of turning 33.  Around here and in the groups of people we run with our ages seem pretty typical to be starting a family.
  • My H was 39 when we had our first (DD1), he will be 43 when this one is born. He maintains that he doesn't want to be 78 and at a high school graduation so we're getting em in now ;)

    I just turned 30 and look young, he has already gone completely silver so we've gotten the grandpa comments, and he has also been called my dad...oops

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  • With DD1, I was 30 and DH was 35. 
    With DD2, I was 31 and DH was 37.
    With this one, I will be 38 and DH will be 43.
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  • My husband and I are almost 4 years apart exactly. He will be 32 in November and this is our first. We have had a lot of bumps in the last 10 years together but even though we might have wanted to hold off longer, somethings just have a timing all their own. We are grateful it went this way instead of us deciding to try and not work out.

    My Dad was 21 with his first daughter add two more daughters in the middle and at 39 with his last (me). My dad was more involved in my life due to job/ income flexibility that he didn't have with my sisters. He just turned 67 and is already trying to plan fishing trips and vacations with my little one, he is very active.
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  • MaineMama said:

    My H was 39 when we had our first (DD1), he will be 43 when this one is born. He maintains that he doesn't want to be 78 and at a high school graduation so we're getting em in now ;)

    I just turned 30 and look young, he has already gone completely silver so we've gotten the grandpa comments, and he has also been called my dad...oops


    Exactly the same problem, he is grey for his age too. (For that matter so am I but nobody needs to see that on me.) and I look younger (or so people say haha) he is so afraid of being mistaken for grandpa.
  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited September 2014
    My H was 23 when we had our first. He will be turning 28 around the time this LO is born (his birthday is 4 days before my EDD. I am 26.

    ETA: We were not ready to be parents when we had our first. We had been together for 5yrs, living together for 3.5 of those years, but I was still in college, he was pretty immature, we weren't married, and we weren't anywhere near ready financially. My first was a condom baby that completely turned our lives upside down. As soon as we got over the shock of my BFP we got our shiit together and we're able to be financially secure enough to actually TTC #2 when our first turned 1.5yrs old. I had just turned 24 when we had our second and he was 25. Our original plan was to start having kids at about 25 and we only wanted 2. I think this is the reason we weren't content with having 2. It's hard to imagine being done having kids by the time we originally planned to start our family.
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  • He was 30 when DD was born and will be 32 when this LO is born
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  • H was 35 when we had DD and will be 38 for this little one.

    I have a few friends with husbands 10+ years older than them who were first time dads at 45+. 
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  • DH is 29 and will be 30 shortly after AJB is born. He is an only child and even though he is an elementary school teacher has no experience with infants. This is going to be fun. 
    Don't worry too much.  My husband had never been around an infant either, and when I ended up having a c-section and couldn't do much the first few days, he was a CHAMP.  He changed every diaper, swaddled Nathan, rocked him to sleep... he did everything but feed him and if he could have lactated, I have a feeling he would have done that too.  (lol)  He really stepped up to the plate.  Given that your husband is an elementary school teacher, so obviously loves kids, I bet he will be the same way.  :)

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  • bbynixon2bbynixon2 member
    edited September 2014
    My hubby is and will be 24 when baby is born. I am 23. We also just celebrated our 3 year anniversary so we did marry young. Everyone, family and friends have been very excited and supportive throughout this new journey.

    Edit to add: this is both of our first.
  • agsgrrl said:
    MH is 37, I'm 28, and this is our first child.  I did have a few comments about me having a LO "so young" and that it was probably because "he was ready".  When really having a child at this time was a completely mutual choice. 
    I'm 29, I guess 28 is the "young" cut off haha. Nobody says anything about me being young,darn it :)
    I think it's just because I'm the first to have a kid in my circle of friends-- they would think you are young to be having a kid too :)  Most of my friends are very career focused and will put off having kids for a while.
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  • Bklm94Bklm94 member
    edited September 2014
    My boyfriend will turn 18 after the baby is born.
  • This is our first, I am 22 and H is 25

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  • My hubs will be 33 when we have our 1st.

  • He is 35 now, and was 19 when his first was born. This is his 5th baby - seasoned pro ;) We are both very aware that this is the last baby and trying to enjoy every bit.
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  • My DH is like 18mos older than me, so that made him 29 when DD was born but only for another 2 months.  He'll be 31 this time for 6 months after baby is born.  He's was one of the first of his friends to have kids with DD but has a lot more family friends now.

    He was freakin the first timw cause he was in his last trimester at school and unemployed (got hired before DD went into daycare) but he looks younger than he is so most people think he's in his mid-twenties.  I still think I'm like 26/27 lol but I'll hit 30 in 2015. 

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  • H has two children from a previous marriage. The first was at 22, him and his then girlfriend, eventual ex wife had only been together a few months, their DD wasnt planned, he was excited, but wasnt prepared. Their DS came after she stopped taking the pill without telling him, and he was 23, the kids were only 11 months apart. He was horrified at that point. This time around he'll be 33 and is much more prepared and excited.


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  • DH is 30.

    There was actually a short NPR piece yesterday that mentioned fathering later in life. They were talking about having kids in ones 50s or later (and mostly focusing on second marriages, where the dad already had some kids).  Here's an interesting quote:

    "His survey revealed that those kids said they spent more time with, and had stronger relationships with, their older dads than their peers did with their younger fathers — but that came at a price ... They all had fears about the age of their dads"

    I see this, exactly, in my uncle.  He is in his mid-60s, has 3 adult children, and 3 more, all under 5 from another marriage.  I hate to mention it, but he recently had a heart attack and had to have major surgery.  He's doing well now, but it was really, really scary for a while.  [Not trying to scare anyone else though - like I said, he's in his mid-60s and we have a very clear family history of heart attacks at a young age.] 

    On the other hand, he seems a lot more engaged in raising these kids.  It is sort of sweet to watch, actually.  He is so playful and loving with them, and they absolutely adore him.

  • As long as things keep progressing, this LO will be our Rainbow baby, I'm 30 and DH is 36.

    We were 26 and almost 32 with our first pregnancy. And then 29 and nearing 35 with our second pregnancy.

    DH is the first in his group of friends to start a family. I think they're all a bit freaked out about it, because they're in much different places in life. Luckily, he has some really great, supportive coworkers that have families. I'm happy he can talk to them, get advice, etc. :)
  • When did mid to late 20s become "young"?  I always thought that was the normal starting age group growing up.  Hell, half my friends married and had babies right outta college at 21 which seems crazy to me now.

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  • @angelson76 Seriously, I'm just going to insert my S H O C K E D face here. 


    Man, you're barely a year older than me.  I can't imagine having a kid in high school/college or even a grandmother.  Yikes!!!  I too robbed the cradle.  MH is 31 and I'm 36 (seriously, I had to honestly think about that for a second...born in 1978, yep 36).  I was really expecting to get comments about MY age but no one has said a word.  The only comments I've gotten have been about having 3 kids in 3 years. 
  • My DH will be 33, two months after baby gets here.  This is his first child.
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  • DH is 45 (I'm 35) and this is the first for both of us. We didn't plan on being this old, but infertility had different plans. He has a lot of friends with high schoolers, and I'm sure people will think he's grampa on the playground, but he's going to be an awesome dad! If we decide to try for another, we'll be on a super-tight timeframe due to his age, though.
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