support from anyone?

Re: support from anyone?

• Artistmom30 member

  September 2014

  Kudos on you for speaking up and not letting him get away with this. I'm sorry you were even put through that. And it's disgusting that your mom said you're embarrassing her for speaking up. What a tool.
  
  For what little solace this may be, I was raped at a party at 19, by a guy who saw how drunk I was, climbed into the bathroom window to get to me (so he wouldn't be seen), and took advantage of me. Now granted, it's not the same as your situation bc I did put myself in a hairy situation but he still had absolutely no right to do what he did, especially after I started sobering up halfway through his deed and started saying no, over and over. He didn't stop. My mother blamed everything on me. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been there". It would have happened to someone if it hadn't been me. He was arrested but let go and the charges were dropped. I felt pretty worthless after that for a long time.
  
  All this to say, I sympathize and don't beat yourself up. You did nothing wrong.

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• kenziebug22 member

  September 2014

  @Artistmom30‌ I'm sorry that happened to you, situation or not like you said he still had no right, it is a very shitty thing to go through and i think that whole feeling worthless thing is part of what I'm still battling.
  
  My mom basically said the same thing "i told you so, this wouldnt have happened if you stayed away from him like i told you too." Yeah because thats going to make me feel better and help me heal and move past this..
  
  Its all anyone is talking about still but I'm trying my best to just ignore it, as hard as that can be at times.

  
  

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• Artistmom30 member

  September 2014

  @kenziebug22‌ thanks. It happened 10+ years ago and so, most of the time, it doesn't faze me. But if I start really thinking about it, it's a gut punch. What sucks is that my brother was at that arty. I hated myself for putting him through that. Also, another crappy thing is, he had done that before and his friends knew it. WTF??? People are crappy sometimes.
  
  Don't you listen to your mom. She has absolutely no right to say that to you. Don't let her win. She doesn't deserve your time of day (I hate saying that about a mom). Distance yourself from negativity and give yourself time for your heart to heal. It will happen bit it will take time. And out of a crappy situation, you received an amazing gift. Cherish him.

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• clk723 member

  September 2014

  Not much to add but you your LO should be proud of how strong you are and I'm glad that the proper steps were taken in the investigation. Hopefully your mother comes to see just how embarrassing and traumatic this is for you and that her feeling can't really compare to yours.

  

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