Do you think this would be rude?

LunaBug924 · September 2014

So, I'm thinking about Christmas. I know, I know. But what can I say? No one is more excited about "baby's first Christmas" than me, but I know my family (especially DH's) are going to go nuts. I'm already thinking about what I want to get her. I realize she'll be more interested in the wrapping paper, if she even acknowledges anything at all. But I have a decent list and I'm thinking about giving a copy to my MIL to share with the rest of the family.

For the record, I'm not asking for things like diapers or a convertible car seat. It's more like books, next-stage toys, gift certificates for her Gymboree class, floats for the pool next summer, or money for her savings.

Im not "demanding" these things, and of course I appreciate anything she'll give DD.I would present this in a way that let her know these are just some suggestions. Thoughts?

yogasailmomma · September 2014

I guess it depends on your family. Half of mind would welcome the suggestion and half would be offended. I have a list I will share if asked but I'm also prepared to receive things we don't need/want.

LunaBug924 · September 2014

@jsquaree I think my MIL would give your MIL a run for her money in competition for the title of worst gift giver. She seems to think quantity is better than quality, so we always get tons of junk that I usually just say thank you for and throw out.

I know everyone always asks DH's cousin what to get for her kids, so I'm hoping it'll be the same with DD. My MIL knows I'm pretty particular, so I think she would appreciate suggestions. I'm also hoping to establish a precedent for future gift giving so we don't start a collection of crap in our house that we won't use. Otherwise, I'll have to start the old "why don't we keep this at Grandma's house?" trick. LOL.

LunaBug924 · September 2014

@jsquaree‌ I'll see your Hello Kitty and raise you Tinkerbell. Earrings, a purse, a sweat shirt, and a SNUGEE! All because I have a limited edition porcelain figurine of her, so that means I must have ALL THE THINGS!

But seriously, they might be the same person.

kat8805 · September 2014

DD1 is 4. Since I'm not getting it through to them by blatantly saying "nothing new is coming in this house, we already have too much shit", anything else will be promptly returned to the store, or left at the gift givers house, for when we visit. MIL is a habitual yardsaler. We have so.much.crap. I can't do it anymore. There are more important things in life than *things*.

usernewname · September 2014

What Kimbus said.

I will have a list ready yes. I won't provide it right away though to make it look like I was presuming. But only if asked what to get him.

I'm not too worried about what they will get him as I know it will be mostly bonds and a piece or two of clothing. Maybe a couple toys. We're going to shop our basement - I have a lot of stuff already bought and stored.

But my family and dhs are pretty good at getting what everyone asked for as we all just ask each other.

usernewname · September 2014

Also if it's still in the package and it's not what you want just return it and exchange it. But then you need an explanation if they remember and ask where it is.

flockofmoosen3 · September 2014

I haven't even thought of gifts at Christmas yet! But now that i am...ditto everyone else. My in-laws are list people so i know they will ask. I think that clothes and toys and books will be the best things for this year.

ho11yday · September 2014

Personally, I'd be offended if someone gave me a list. Bridal and baby showers are one thing. Christmas and birthdays are another.

haylo33 · September 2014

I've already told both our families that we only want DS to get 1 toy from each family and if the want to get him more, we would like
books/clothes/necessities. We have my mom, my dad & stepmom, my grandparents, DHs parents, DHs grandparents, 2 aunts, and an uncle. That's like 8 gifts right there. Not including extended family and whatever we get him. My nephews have so much crap they don't appreciate what they have. We are pretty close and open with our families so it wasn't an issue. Plus we didn't say "you have to do this". We just said we prefer it so he doesn't become spoiled (even though 8+ gifts is even excessive but I understand people love to give toys). Everyone respected the idea and understood.

rainbowsockmonkey · September 2014

DH and I are thinking of doing the "something you want, something you need. Something to to wear, something to read" idea for our kids. My mom bought a couple of toys last year on black friday that I told her would be cool to have. I'm not planning on giving out a list for DD (but I do for myself if asked) but will request toys with no/ limited batteries. I hate the idea of running out of batteries for a toy.

KBowen715 · September 2014

Lissiehoya said:

jsquaree said:
I think it depends on your family. This is the way my family always treats Christmas and birthdays. We all have Amazon wishlists and we all forward the links to everyone. So for us, no one would bat an eye.
DH's family, on the other hand, would ignore it entirely and be slightly offended. MIL, especially, which is a bummer because she is the single worst gift giver ever. I can appreciate a gift no matter what it is, and I know it really is the thought that counts, but she seriously just winds up wasting what little money she has on things that just get thrown out.
Anyway, are they the type of people to ask what you want or not? If not, I wouldn't do it and just hope for the best.
This is my situation exactly, incl. the MIL who wastes her money on things that nobody wants. I keep adding toys to our Amazon baby registry and I'll probably point my family in that direction.

DH and I are trying to decide if we should bother getting DS anything since the rest of the family is totally going to spoil him.

When my older sons were babies/toddlers, we stocked the overage of toys from Christmas in the closet and introduced them throughout the year at different intervals instead of getting new toys. Result? Never overrun by toys that end up not getting played with and a kid that thinks you're amazing. Plus you get the credit for the shiz everyone else bought. Winning!

pistolpackinmomma · September 2014

KBowen715 said:

Lissiehoya said:

jsquaree said:
I think it depends on your family. This is the way my family always treats Christmas and birthdays. We all have Amazon wishlists and we all forward the links to everyone. So for us, no one would bat an eye.
DH's family, on the other hand, would ignore it entirely and be slightly offended. MIL, especially, which is a bummer because she is the single worst gift giver ever. I can appreciate a gift no matter what it is, and I know it really is the thought that counts, but she seriously just winds up wasting what little money she has on things that just get thrown out.
Anyway, are they the type of people to ask what you want or not? If not, I wouldn't do it and just hope for the best.
This is my situation exactly, incl. the MIL who wastes her money on things that nobody wants. I keep adding toys to our Amazon baby registry and I'll probably point my family in that direction.

DH and I are trying to decide if we should bother getting DS anything since the rest of the family is totally going to spoil him.
When my older sons were babies/toddlers, we stocked the overage of toys from Christmas in the closet and introduced them throughout the year at different intervals instead of getting new toys. Result? Never overrun by toys that end up not getting played with and a kid that thinks you're amazing. Plus you get the credit for the shiz everyone else bought. Winning!

Ummm DS1 has been afraid of the basement (no clue why) until recently. We left all of his bday gifts (January baby) down there and slowly pulled them out a little at a time. There were 2 left (one being the trike my parents got him) when he was finally willing to go down there. I'm kinda sad he likes playing down there, his bday is 10 days after Christmas. It was kinda nice to stretch the gifts!

Helmink0804 · September 2014

I'm thinking our family will ask. I already told my mom one thing that we wanted for her that we didn't get at the shower- a walker and told her some clothes too that she's pretty well set until she gets into 6-9 and up. I'm not sure what my in laws will do- I know they ask us what we want but I'm not sure kid wise what she does.

jsaffer01 · September 2014

@LunaBug924‌ @jsquaree‌ my MIL gives MH and LO useless gifts all the time. Thankfully I don't get anything. MH has a lot of batman memorabilia from her, like keychains, action figures, cups. He's an adult now, he doesn't need that little shit that is just taking up space. And she gets LO stuff animals every chance she gets. I hate stuffed animals, so it's safe to say that more than half will be in the trash. I'm not looking forward to Xmas and see the crap she gets LO. MH has told her already only get a few things. We'll see if that happens because she never listens to us.

sarthepandabear · September 2014

I think the polite thing to do is wait to be asked for suggestions, but you're smart to be prepared. I, for one, am a big believer in presents that people actually want or need, rather just random guesses.

Want a personalized experience?

Do you think this would be rude?

Re: Do you think this would be rude?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards