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October 2014 Moms
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Baby shower dilemma about kids.

Sotho girlSotho girl member
in October 2014 Moms
Hi ladies,
I know there's been a lot of baby shower talk lately and some difference of opinions. I am open minded though and am willing to hear all sides.
So my mother and sister in law are throwing me a little baby 'sprinkle' which I'm ever so grateful for because they're coming all the way from Boston. DH's two aunts are also flying in from Michigan. Also other people coming from out of state. Unfortunately my family in South Africa can't make it.
So my parents in law are renting out a really beautiful beach house to accommodate the out of towners and to have the shower there.
The rental people agreed that it was fine to have the small party there as long as it doesn't exceed 16 people.
So far 16 people are coming.
One of the local friends who is coming asked if kids are allowed. She has an 8 year old girl and an almost 2 year old boy who is so cute and oh so full of energy.
Another local friend who is coming has a 5 year old boy who she's more likely bringing.
However, that would exceed the capacity allowed in the rental which my mother in law is afraid of. Also with rambunctious kids running around, she's afraid things might break.

How do I mention to them that kids aren't allowed without offending them?
By the way I love small kids and work with them.

End of rant.
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Re: Baby shower dilemma about kids.

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  • persephonerosepersephonerose member
    Ideally people would know by the invitation who is included in the party invite. Etiquette says that whom ever is on the envelop is who is invited, no more. 

    In addition, all of those questions should be directed towards the host of the party. If someone asks you, you can say "I am not sure, please contact X&Y" and let the host handle it.
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  • Sotho girlSotho girl member
    @pnwlover12‌ I would totally understand if they weren't able to make it due to not being able to arrange childcare on that day.
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  • trisharenee0316trisharenee0316 member
    Is it just about the rental restrictions, or do you truly not want to have kids at the shower?  Do the facility owners/managers know you're talking about a baby shower as the "party," and not like, an actual party?  I ask only because they might feel differently if they know it's not a real party with drinking and what not.



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  • Sotho girlSotho girl member
    Never thought about that ladies. I'll ask my mother in law if the facility owners know what kind of party it was.
    I also honestly don't think they'll be coming in to do a head count, but I don't want to offend my mother in law and worry her.
    I'd already mentioned to her that I don't think they'd be coming by to do a head count, but she still didn't want to take the risk so I let it go.
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  • MrMrsandBabyMrMrsandBaby member
    If MIL is the host and doesn't want to take the risk, then you (or she) needs to tell your friends no kids.  You also need to be consistent, if one brings her 5 year old but you tell the other one no, it isn't going to go over well....
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  • uofapearuofapear member
    I had two 7 year old and a toddler in someone else's house for my shower. Coloring books, videos, Legos saved the day. They also helped server snacks and greeted people at the door.
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  • Cutiecruz327Cutiecruz327 member
    My sister is also pregnant, due 4 weeks ahead of me. We did not invite kids to her shower. She gad 80 people on h er invite list. If we allowed I do it would have easily doubled. Anyone who asked we simply told them no due to capacity and the number of people with children we would have to allow. Everyone understood, all except my mom's sister who kept asking if she could bring her granddaughter. However my cousin understood, despite my aunts insistence.
    Me: 33 - PCOS & Hypothyroidism DH: 35 - SA is good Married since 2010 (together since 2006) TTC since June 2009 (we knew we would have issues and wanted family right away after we got married). No pregnancies yet. May 2013 - started first round of Chlomid & ovidrel cycle.
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  • Sotho girlSotho girl member
    Thank you for your thoughts ladies.
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