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NBR: feeling naive

NewbieMomieNewbieMomie member
in July 2013 Moms
So sorry it's long but I tried to explain it as best I could, as short as I could:

I used to work with this colleague, we will call him J. We, along with another colleague, L, worked very close together and were friendly outside of work- we went to kids' bday parties, they came to our wedding, all of our families went on vacation together and so on. J decided that he wanted to relocate to New Mexico and needed help applying for new jobs so I spent a lot of time helping him. L, J and I would talk about how the move was going, how was his mini trip out there to check out a place to live with his family and basically how things were going. At first J was very open about it and chatty. Towards the end of the year J was much quieter about his move- he already put his resignation in so we knew he was leaving no matter what the new job outcome was. So, here comes the last day and he gives L and I hugs good bye, he's going to New Mexico and will give us his address when he has it. Toodles right? Never heard from him or his family again. At. All. Except L and I find out from another colleague that he got a job... Wait for it... In MONTANA! Uhm... Whaaaaaat?! He never moved to New Mexico, it was Montana the entire time. I feel so cheated and snowed and naive. How could someone keep a lie like that going for sooo long!? L is feeling the same way too. Were our friendships even real? Is he really real? Is he really a man? and why lie? There was no benefit to it whatsoever.

What say you J13? Any similar stories? Words of wisdom for this naive chica?

Reader's Digest: friend really wasn't a friend and kept up a huge lie for about 4-6 months. I'm feeling stupid for not seeing it all along.
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Re: NBR: feeling naive

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Possible he didn't get the job in New Mexico and had to accept Montana job seeing as he quit?
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  • NewbieMomieNewbieMomie member
    edited September 2014
    @haddocky I completely agree! Why would you lie and then keep lying all the way until the day you left?

    @PickleX‌ he never had a set job in NM, but according to him, he had a new home, cars were shipped the week before and their storage unit was also shipped a few days before they left. To NM, not Montana. So weird. Then to never hear from him again?

    Edit spelling error
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  • giraffeluvspigiraffeluvspi member
    That's weird.

    We had a good friend we met when we moved here. Him and DH were on very similar career paths: both contracted for the same company. DH was hired full time with a different company after the recession, this friend went on and was hired full time (at a later date than DH) with a different company. He just started flaking on get togethers and eventually stopped talking to our entire group of friends. He met a girl in another country he flew to and imported/married her. DH still sees this friend's Dad as he works for DH's company and is a frequent passenger, so we are in the loop, but no one seems to know why he just cut us all out. People are weird.

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  • KikiCohenKikiCohen member
    That's so very, very strange.
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  • EagleWifeEagleWife member
    That's really weird.

    It stinks when people you think are friends turn out not to be.
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  • Lelo2006Lelo2006 member
    I would ask him! Can you text him?
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  • NewbieMomieNewbieMomie member
    @ChrissieMeas‌ that's such a strange story too! How odd.

    @EagleWife‌ it does suck when you think someone is a friend and their really not. Especially for no obvious reason.

    @Lelo2006‌ ya know, I thought about it, but then didn't do it because I thought, 'if he didn't want to tell me or the other colleagues then why bother contacting him.' Idk I might end up sending him an email.
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  • hollandmamahollandmama member
    That's weird and I'd freak out, maybe he's hiding something way bigger if he can make such a big lie...
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  • Altima80Altima80 member
    This day in age, it's hard to lie about where you are at because of all the social media....facebook, linkedIn, etc. I wonder if he got to NM and something went awry with his new job so he had to quickly find something else. Or maybe new company immediately had to relocate him? Strange but not sure why anyone would try to hide that. You work with the same people he used to work with and obviously keeps in touch with so it seems odd that he'd try to hide where he is at thinking people wouldn't find out...or he's just dumb? I'd send him an email.
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