GAH! So many baby shower violations in one envelope!

uneek1323 · September 2014

Commiserate with me about how horrible this is.

The mother is having her second girl. Her first girl is 3 years old.

She's registered at Babies R Us and Target for everything.

They requested a book instead of a card with a sugary sweet, barf-worthy poem.

They're having a diaper raffle - bring a pack of diapers and you're entered in a raffle to win something.

AND there's a list in the invitation of what sizes the mother needs/doesn't need in diapers and clothes.

It immediately became best friends with my recycling. Thankfully the shower is 3,000 miles away and I met the guest of honor once so that will be a big fat no!

wendyld · September 2014

uneek1323 said:

Commiserate with me about how horrible this is.

The mother is having her second girl. Her first girl is 3 years old.
She's registered at Babies R Us and Target for everything.
They requested a book instead of a card with a sugary sweet, barf-worthy poem.
They're having a diaper raffle - bring a pack of diapers and you're entered in a raffle to win something.
AND there's a list in the invitation of what sizes the mother needs/doesn't need in diapers and clothes.

It immediately became best friends with my recycling. Thankfully the shower is 3,000 miles away and I met the guest of honor once so that will be a big fat no!

Why the hell did you even get an invite?

uneek1323 · September 2014

wendyld said:

uneek1323 said:

Commiserate with me about how horrible this is.

The mother is having her second girl. Her first girl is 3 years old.
She's registered at Babies R Us and Target for everything.
They requested a book instead of a card with a sugary sweet, barf-worthy poem.
They're having a diaper raffle - bring a pack of diapers and you're entered in a raffle to win something.
AND there's a list in the invitation of what sizes the mother needs/doesn't need in diapers and clothes.

It immediately became best friends with my recycling. Thankfully the shower is 3,000 miles away and I met the guest of honor once so that will be a big fat no!

Why the hell did you even get an invite?

Probably because she's family. She's marrying my cousin.

uneek1323 · September 2014

mamatotwoo said:

So is this her first child with your cousin? Or the first kid is his too? She might feel entitled to a second baby shower if this baby has a different daddy!!

Same daddy for both kids. There's no way around excusing her in this one. Her wedding faux pas is adding to it too. Most people are only invited to the reception and the invitation requested that you bring food, and please bring more than you need to feed your family because they need a lot of food.

selena61307 · September 2014

uneek1323 said:

mamatotwoo said:

So is this her first child with your cousin? Or the first kid is his too?

She might feel entitled to a second baby shower if this baby has a different daddy!!

Same daddy for both kids. There's no way around excusing her in this one. Her wedding faux pas is adding to it too. Most people are only invited to the reception and the invitation requested that you bring food, and please bring more than you need to feed your family because they need a lot of food.
OMG I feel like this all needs to be in the tacky thread. We literally need this documented more than one place. This is awful. Is she trying to out do her own tackiness. I hope you aren't attending the wedding.

augustpetals · September 2014

Wow. I don't even know where to begin. Is she asking for guests to bring food dishes to her baby and bridal shower to?

Unknown · September 2014

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jap618 · September 2014

Holy shit this lady wins an award.

thejucheidea · September 2014

I was reading these posts out loud to my husband and we were both laughing uproariously.

I had a coworker in corporate (I work in the clinic side, so I don't interact with the corporate side) eMail everyone a baby shower invite to her baby shower for her second child (first child was two years old at the time) telling everyone they weren't registered because baby was getting everything from older child, but that they needed diapers and CASH FOR THE DAY CARE FUND. I like couldn't even handle this.

kellbell1982 · September 2014

thejucheidea said:
I was reading these posts out loud to my husband and we were both laughing uproariously.

I had a coworker in corporate (I work in the clinic side, so I don't interact with the corporate side) eMail everyone a baby shower invite to her baby shower for her second child (first child was two years old at the time) telling everyone they weren't registered because baby was getting everything from older child, but that they needed diapers and CASH FOR THE DAY CARE FUND. I like couldn't even handle this.

This one needs to go in the tacky shit thread too that's too much lol

mrsarmy · September 2014

If you have to include a novel about what you do and don't need, you probably shouldn't have gift receiving party.

One of my cousins had a baby shower for all of her 4 kids- 2 twin boys, another boy, and a girl. I thought it was tacky considering she and her husband drive luxury cars and her kids wear only name brand clothing- I hate going to showers for materialistic people because I have to put more thought and money into the gift. Needless to say, I didn't go to shower 2 or 3.

Is it normal to have 2 baby showers, one for a boy and one for a girl? I've never asked the masses so I'm curious. I'm not sure where I got this, but I've felt like it was normal and acceptable to have one for your first baby of each gender, but I may be completely off base.

Also, I've been to a "diaper party" which was essentially just a fun baby themed lunch where the guests bring diapers to celebrate the baby. It was pretty stylized and we did okay a couple shower games with prizes. I didn't think it was greedy or tacky... What do you guys think?

Unknown · September 2014

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mrsarmy · September 2014

I also think you were justified in throwing the invite away- sorry I'm a newbie. Just learning about this whole chat thing.

Leather318 · September 2014

@stefmxo‌ my friends recently had their first child and for their baby shower, requested books instead of cards. Everybody thought it was a fantastic idea and had a lot of fun with it. Honestly, cards these days cost 5-6 bucks and children's books aren't that expensive especially if you go to half priced. Looks or hastings. I didn't hear anybody complaining about price, we were all just really excited to share our favorite children's books with our friends and their new baby!

uneek1323 · September 2014

Leather318 said:

@stefmxo‌ my friends recently had their first child and for their baby shower, requested books instead of cards. Everybody thought it was a fantastic idea and had a lot of fun with it. Honestly, cards these days cost 5-6 bucks and children's books aren't that expensive especially if you go to half priced. Looks or hastings. I didn't hear anybody complaining about price, we were all just really excited to share our favorite children's books with our friends and their new baby!

If you are spending $5-6 on a card, then you are getting ripped off. I live in a high COL area and even the fancy papyrus cards are $4.

Leather318 · September 2014

Haha clearly you don't shop Hallmark. I'm not trying to bash anyone's card prices or anything, I was just pointing out that for me and a lot of people, it wasn't a big deal and the price difference wasn't that much. If a couple bucks makes that big of difference, then people can ignore the request and go with a card anyways.

lisap0924 · September 2014

I love the idea of a book Instead of a card, but the whole 2nd shower thing is very tacky!

Unknown · September 2014

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kcbizme · September 2014

I personally love the idea of bringing a book instead of a card, simply because you get so much more use out of a book. You can always write a little note in the book for baby, whereas a card may or may not get lost in translation. That's all I am saying on the baby shower topic other than the original post shows how truly tacky she is. Great story for the tacky shit thread.

t loves r · September 2014

Leather318 said:
@stefmxo‌ my friends recently had their first child and for their baby shower, requested books instead of cards. Everybody thought it was a fantastic idea and had a lot of fun with it. Honestly, cards these days cost 5-6 bucks and children's books aren't that expensive especially if you go to half priced. Looks or hastings. I didn't hear anybody complaining about price, we were all just really excited to share our favorite children's books with our friends and their new baby!

Hippoing from here to say my bff's baby shower had the book instead of a card request. Guess how many goodnight moon board books she got? 8. And all of them were written in because, guess what, the book is the card. So, now she has 8 goodnight moon board books, 3 oh the places you'll go and tons of other doubles of books. My friend didn't even know how to respond after realizing she got so many of the same books. She was embarrassed, you could tell. And so were the guests that have them to her, including my mom. I felt bad because my mom spent a lot of time trying to find our favorite book as a child to give her (no more monkeys jumping on the bed) and someone else had gotten her the same book and both wrote in them.

It would just be easier for the host to buy a book and have everyone sign it at the shower. Register for books if you would like the build baby a library.

Plus, when I buy cards, I usually buy the 99 cent ones. I cannot find a book for 99 cents unless I go to the dollar tree. I also write a nice little message in the cards to personalize it. When I receive cards, I always keep them when people take the time to write a message. I must be in the minority it sounds like.

jpavenski · September 2014

I would have def tossed that one! So incredibly tacky & she doesn't sound like a very nice person at all!

daizedoo · September 2014

Tacky thread for sure, and that thread needs to be stickied so it doesn't get lost! Pure gold!

uneek1323 · September 2014

I missed the tacky thread. Sorry!

daizedoo · September 2014

uneek1323 said:

I missed the tacky thread. Sorry!

Enjoy!!!!
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12425723/vent-and-gtky-tacky-shit

Leather318 · September 2014

Woah I didn't know the book thing would be such a hot topic. I just think its a cute idea and we had a lot of fun with it. Maybe because it was a tight knit group and we all communicated, we didn't get any doubles for our friend and it turned out well. Obviously, it won't work for everyone just like diaper parties don't necessarily work out for people who are cloth diapering.

I think sometimes we're all quick to judge people as gift grabby and seem to focus on inconveniencing the guests. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who are grabby and who are extremely tacky (I love the tacky thread!) But I doubt that the majority of us are just trying to score more at baby showers. As guests, if you seriously feel that inconvenienced, don't go.

uneek1323 · September 2014

Leather318 said:

Woah I didn't know the book thing would be such a hot topic. I just think its a cute idea and we had a lot of fun with it. Maybe because it was a tight knit group and we all communicated, we didn't get any doubles for our friend and it turned out well. Obviously, it won't work for everyone just like diaper parties don't necessarily work out for people who are cloth diapering. I think sometimes we're all quick to judge people as gift grabby and seem to focus on inconveniencing the guests. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who are grabby and who are extremely tacky (I love the tacky thread!) But I doubt that the majority of us are just trying to score more at baby showers. As guests, if you seriously feel that inconvenienced, don't go.

You know, you come off very pretentious. If this isn't how you want to be portrayed online, I would suggest reading over what you write before posting it.

FrecklesInside · September 2014

Leather318 said:
Woah I didn't know the book thing would be such a hot topic. I just think its a cute idea and we had a lot of fun with it. Maybe because it was a tight knit group and we all communicated, we didn't get any doubles for our friend and it turned out well. Obviously, it won't work for everyone just like diaper parties don't necessarily work out for people who are cloth diapering.

I think sometimes we're all quick to judge people as gift grabby and seem to focus on inconveniencing the guests. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who are grabby and who are extremely tacky (I love the tacky thread!) But I doubt that the majority of us are just trying to score more at baby showers. As guests, if you seriously feel that inconvenienced, don't go.

You make me roll my eyes.

createmagic14 · September 2014

uneek1323 said:

Leather318 said:

Woah I didn't know the book thing would be such a hot topic. I just think its a cute idea and we had a lot of fun with it. Maybe because it was a tight knit group and we all communicated, we didn't get any doubles for our friend and it turned out well. Obviously, it won't work for everyone just like diaper parties don't necessarily work out for people who are cloth diapering. I think sometimes we're all quick to judge people as gift grabby and seem to focus on inconveniencing the guests. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who are grabby and who are extremely tacky (I love the tacky thread!) But I doubt that the majority of us are just trying to score more at baby showers. As guests, if you seriously feel that inconvenienced, don't go.

You know, you come off very pretentious. If this isn't how you want to be portrayed online, I would suggest reading over what you write before posting it.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I didn't read her post as pretentious at all. And I read it three times before commenting to be sure I didn't miss something. I think sometimes there are some things that work for certain groups of friends/families that are very much unacceptable for others. I love reading everyone's different experiences and points-of-view here, as it opens my eyes to so many things!

uneek1323 · September 2014

createmagic14 said:

uneek1323 said:

Leather318 said:

Woah I didn't know the book thing would be such a hot topic. I just think its a cute idea and we had a lot of fun with it. Maybe because it was a tight knit group and we all communicated, we didn't get any doubles for our friend and it turned out well. Obviously, it won't work for everyone just like diaper parties don't necessarily work out for people who are cloth diapering. I think sometimes we're all quick to judge people as gift grabby and seem to focus on inconveniencing the guests. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who are grabby and who are extremely tacky (I love the tacky thread!) But I doubt that the majority of us are just trying to score more at baby showers. As guests, if you seriously feel that inconvenienced, don't go.

You know, you come off very pretentious. If this isn't how you want to be portrayed online, I would suggest reading over what you write before posting it.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I didn't read her post as pretentious at all. And I read it three times before commenting to be sure I didn't miss something. I think sometimes there are some things that work for certain groups of friends/families that are very much unacceptable for others. I love reading everyone's different experiences and points-of-view here, as it opens my eyes to so many things!

Have you read the other things she posted in this thread?

janda426 · September 2014

@Leather318‌

"Haha clearly you don't shop Hallmark."

Oh well la dee fucking da, sorry queen, no I don't. I buy cards at the fucking dollar store because what I have to write inside the card is worth more than some preprinted shit I'm gonna pay $4 for. Just because YOU don't mind spending $6 on a card, doesn't mean it's not rude to ask specifically for one thing.

FrecklesInside · September 2014

I'm pretty sure @mandjs spelled things out superrrrrr clearly as to why books as cards is a tacky idea...

Leather318 · September 2014

My apologies, I didn't mean to come off that way at all. Its hard to convey tone on these boards sometimes. I was joking about the hallmark thing. I said that because I think the prices for cards are ridiculous and I noticed while card shopping the other day that the prices have gone through the roof and I couldn't find anything much cheaper at target lol in fact, i saw a hallmark card that cost $9....9....ridiculous, right?

I'm not trying to judge anyone on what they do or don't do for their showers. I was just trying to say that I think the book thing works well for some people and shouldn't be seen as just automatically tacky. Now, as to the original post, yes that's a lot to ask and I'd say that's kind of tacky.

janda426 · September 2014

FrecklesInside said:
I'm pretty sure @mandjs spelled things out superrrrrr clearly as to why books as cards is a tacky idea...

Yeah like I don't think there is anything left to discuss after that very detailed explanation.

But some people will always think they're above etiquette.

Unknown · September 2014

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kcbizme · September 2014

@MandJS‌ after I read your explanations, that totally makes sense. I like the idea of registering for books also. Good point on the multiple books too. I didn't even think of that.

lalaroller08 · September 2014

Asking for a "book instead of a card" is assuming people even do cards. I usually either make a card to go with a gift or I don't do a card at all. Why do people think they have a right to dictate how others want to celebrate their babies? Rudeness.

071115 · September 2014

I have never heard of the book instead of a card thing! I can see the pros and the cons!
I personally hate cards and I never buy them for people since I find them a waste of money for close friends my kids make cards... But I think I will buy a book instead and do it that way! But I would never ask people to do that

soontobeDeBenedictis · September 2014

I'm surprised by everyone who thinks second baby showers are tacky. I've never heard that before and expect my friends to have one thrown for them every time they have a kid haha. It's a celebration is it not?

Leather318 · September 2014

soontobeDeBenedictis said:

I'm surprised by everyone who thinks second baby showers are tacky. I've never heard that before and expect my friends to have one thrown for them every time they have a kid haha. It's a celebration is it not?

You know, I've heard positions on both sides of this as well. A lot of people see baby showers as the way to welcome a woman to motherhood and think they should only be thrown for the first child or else it is seen as gift grabby. Other people see it as a way to celebrate the child whether it is the first or fifth. Where I'm from, people tend to want any excuse for a celebration so baby showers happen regardless of number, but I think it just depends on the situation and what the norm is for the people involved.

jordanbohr · September 2014

When I threw a shower for my SIL I did the book rather than card and it never crossed my mind that it could be conceived as tacky. I guess that's one of the reasons I appreciate this board, there are so many different views on things I never would have thought of.

soontobeDeBenedictis · September 2014

"No, it's not. It's to "shower" the new mother. A celebration, to me, occurs after the baby is born and is a get together with no gifts so people can meet the baby. Having a second shower when you have another young child (I'll excuse a second shower for very large age gaps) is gift grabby. "

Most showers are not thrown by the mother herself but for her by a friend or family member. That seems unfair for it to be seen that way if someone offered to throw it. I've been to several second showers and I've never thought twice about it.

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GAH! So many baby shower violations in one envelope!

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