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July 2013 Moms
lovemyminions
member
Vent
lovemyminions
member
So I mention to DH that I would maybe like to got to the city to return a dress or go visit a friend today, and he says to me 'so you want me to watch the kids? Do you hate your life?' I replied no I don't hate my life. He says 'well it seems like it'. So I say 'why because I want some me time? Because I have been frustrated with the kids the last couple of days because they have just been whiny, fussy, needy?'
At this point I feel like throat punching him because I have been dealing with our kids, on my own for days. Last night I tried sleep training the littlest one and asked for his help. When he didn't go in at the 10 min comfort checking I asked him repeatedly until he snapped at me that she is old enough to cry for 15-20mins. (Which is not the guidelines for training I received from our health nurse). So for the next hour I got up every 10 minutes until I was so upset with her still fussing, and exhausted that I just made her a bottle and gave up. So I pressed him for an example of why he thinks I hate my life and he would just say its lots of things and it's not just because of yesterday, it's all the time. I guess I must be miserable to be around.
So yep, I feel like an aweful person, a horrible mom, and wth am I thinking, wanting another one because obviously I must be doing a shitty job and can't handle having the two I have. Sorry for the long vent but he really got to me. I thought it was normal to occasionally be frustrated, but I guess it's just an indication of my ineptness as a mother.
At this point I feel like throat punching him because I have been dealing with our kids, on my own for days. Last night I tried sleep training the littlest one and asked for his help. When he didn't go in at the 10 min comfort checking I asked him repeatedly until he snapped at me that she is old enough to cry for 15-20mins. (Which is not the guidelines for training I received from our health nurse). So for the next hour I got up every 10 minutes until I was so upset with her still fussing, and exhausted that I just made her a bottle and gave up. So I pressed him for an example of why he thinks I hate my life and he would just say its lots of things and it's not just because of yesterday, it's all the time. I guess I must be miserable to be around.
So yep, I feel like an aweful person, a horrible mom, and wth am I thinking, wanting another one because obviously I must be doing a shitty job and can't handle having the two I have. Sorry for the long vent but he really got to me. I thought it was normal to occasionally be frustrated, but I guess it's just an indication of my ineptness as a mother.
Formerly the untaggable Mrs. D S
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: Vent
This post along with my vacuuming my oven clean post make me feel like a total winner. X_X
We are human. We need breaks. It doesn't make us terrible mothers or wives or people. It makes us human.
Baby girl #1 7/11/13
Baby girl #2 4/30/15
Baby Boy Due 2/16/19!
Where's the nut punch bus when you need it?
Take your break and don't feel guilty.
But seriously. What a shitty thing to say.
(I think it was a link posted here) that when asked, kids don't care whether their parents work or stay home, but the biggest things kids want is for their parents to be less stressed out. Nothing about needing some me time makes you a bad mom or means you hate your life. Go take your break! >:D<
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl :'(
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
First of all, I think your husband should help you instead of criticizing you. Leaving you to do all the childcare is not fair.
I take it you are a SAHM? Let me tell you, I love my kids to the very end. However, 24/7/365 of them would be incredibly difficult.
I take a 30 minute to an hour break EVERY night. Even on weekends. I get coffee, read People magazine and enjoy no one pawing, crying, or NEEDING something from me for one hour. One.
It's a need I have. You have needs. You are allowed to want a break without being "miserable" & "must hate your life" bullshit being thrown around.
No. NO. WTF is up with these asshole husbands presuming that donating sperm is enough? WTAF?! It makes me ragey. THEY ARE HIS KIDS TOO. He should enjoy their company on his own on the regular. You deserve, no NEED, time to yourself without having demands. It will make you feel better.
Listen to me: you are a good mother!
You are human with needs & wants outside of motherhood and THAT IS OK!
So speak up & tell him what your needs are. Tell him there is nothing wrong with your mothering skills or love for your children because you want 30 minutes of peace or a chance to take a dump or bath uninterrupted.
Even better-- take a weekend. No shit. Take off to a nice hotel for a weekend. Tell him that you need it. Two days to eat warm food, sleep in & take long baths. Recharge your batteries. It's for your health!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
So sorry @lovemyminions you're a great mom. Hang in there >:D<
You should take that well-deserved time to decompress if you haven't already. You definitely deserve it.
FYI- I feel like a hypocrite giving DH advice.
@zoeyjack You ARE a winner. :x