Is this sketchy or am I just insecure — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Is this sketchy or am I just insecure

Ok, so I know I have some insecurities (body,worth , emotional ) so I want a second opinion on the situation .
My fiancé is wonderful to me or at least I think so ( only had one other long term relationship and he was abusive) but I have this feeling that something is off ,we took a break in March/ April for a few weeks and then mended our relationship in that time we saw other people. He saw his best friend and I saw my ex , I always though they had something which he said was friendship / brotherly love until then ...
When I found out they slept together it crushed me because I didn't sleep with my ex or really even want to.
I tye strong love with sex so I feel they must have been deeply in love . He left her because he wanted to be a family and loved me more ( there was about 2 weeks of cheating (him cheating on her) ) that made me so self conscience .

Long story short we've been back together awhile and they're friends. But his ringtone for her is a love song , one I sent/sang to him . They are so close sometimes I feel less important and like he's hiding somethin

Re: Is this sketchy or am I just insecure

  • But i feel bad when we discuss it because he needs her (as a friend) and she has emotional issues ( anxiety and depression ) similar to me . So he is her go to person
  • Thank you all for your advice, I'm trying to figure out how to discuss this with him now. I just don't want to hurt him ( or her hurt herself ) because of me being selfish
  • Why the hell would you think this situation was anything BUT sketchy? This dude is your fiancé and he slept with another woman while y'all were still engaged?? Child, bye. I feel really sorry for your upcoming marriage if he thinks that is acceptable behavior.
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    [Deleted User]aditigirlconradragingLgriffo13
  • flclflcl member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    Thank you all for your advice, I'm trying to figure out how to discuss this with him now. I just don't want to hurt him ( or her hurt herself ) because of me being selfish
    If this is how you feel you are being, there is nothing a bunch of internet strangers can say to you to convince you otherwise. As PPs have mentioned, I also encourage you to seek counseling.  I understand how difficult a position you feel you are in, I, too, have struggled most of my life with depression.  No matter how bad you feel for this other woman, it is time that you stop accepting responsibility for behaviors and actions of other people.  

    You need to tell your fiancé that you have something important to talk to him about.  You feel that his friendship with this woman (go-to person or not) is detrimental to your relationship, that if he were to continue being there for her, you don't think that you can be there for him.  If you fiancé can't understand and put your needs before hers now, he's not going to any time in the future regardless of marriage, children, etc. 
    tromboner
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