~~Ladies in Waiting~~

BookishMomma · August 2014

I'm posting this tonight instead of tomorrow because I have to go out of town for the day. Hope everyone is doing well!

Welcome to Ladies In Waiting. This is a group designed for all the ladies in the various stages of waiting after a loss: waiting to miscarry, waiting for AF to arrive, waiting to TTC again, and waiting for a BFP. Since this process is such a true test in patience, it is nice to have the support and friendship of other women going through similar experiences and emotions.

-Check in is every Wednesday- New members: Post an intro and your current TTC status. - Current members: Post updates, link to your chart, upcoming appointments, requests for T&Ps. - Weekly check-in's will include an inspirational quote.

Please do not worry if your name is not on the check in, I only put those that participated in the previous check in. Please make sure that if you get a BFP to PM me. I try to check PGAL, but sometimes I may miss it.

I look forward to getting to know you!

Love, BookishMomma

QOTW:

Current members- Please update us as to how you're doing!

natalie115 · August 2014

I can't decide if I'm waiting to O or just waiting for AF in an annovulatory cycle. I feel fairly confident that my body tried to O on cd 14 probably through my blocked tube so I didn't actually O. Hopefully AF just shows up on time so we can move on to the next cycle.

rubysi · August 2014

Hello everyone,

It as been a couple of check ins, Wednesdays are busy for me. I have done my obligatory 3 month femara run with no luck. The RE has me going in for my HSG on Friday and I am not looking forward to it. I don't know if I hope there are answers are not, if there is something wrong maybe it can be fixed. So the plan is Femara,trigger, and TI provided tubes are not blocked. Hugs for everyone!

@natalie115 I hope you cycles finishes quickly. I am not a chart expert but there does not seem to be a clear thermal shift.

MrsPhD83 · August 2014

Hi @BookishMomma‌! How are you? What's new? @natalie115‌, I hope this cycle goes quickly for you! @rubysi‌, I hope the HSG goes well and that all looks ok for your next med cycle! @Amybunny30‌, sorry about the headache, but glad this cycle finally ended! Are you still TTA for the next one? AFM, CD6 over here so back to the drawing board and waiting to O (which won't happen for another 10-12 days). I'm trying to be optimistic, but it's hard. I'm the MOH in my sisters wedding next August and I already know I'm going to want to take a break at some point so that I wouldn't have an EDD around that time (wedding is in another state). After last week's BFN, MH got really upset when I mentioned this and gave me the "we can't put our lives on hold"/"what is your priority?" speech. So, we are not on the same page and he doesn't understand how I could both badly want to try but also want to be there for my sister. Ugh. Also, we hit the 1 year mark last week of when I stopped taking BCP, so that sucked. Hoping this cycle will be it for us.

mpiemont · August 2014

@bookishmomma Thanks for checking in. Traveling anywhere fun?

I'm just waiting to test. I have a million wondfo and $ store HPTs so I may possibly test tomorrow but I'd really like to avoid the "is that a line? I'm not sure. Do you see it?" or alternatively "nope, no line at all nonsense" and just wait it out....AF came 12DPO last cycle (that will be Saturday) so I'm still trying to stick to that being "test day". Almost there....

CreechMommy · August 2014

@bookishmomma Thanks for the checkin. For me, I'm STILL waiting to test. Well I tested yesterday and BFN

AF is supposed to come Friday or Saturday so I should know something by the weekend. The wait is almost over!!!

ctk181 · August 2014

Hello all, I am new here and on mobile so I can't reply to everyone at the moment. However, I would like to join this check-in. I just had a mmc with our first baby at 11w2d ( baby measuring 8w5d) on 8/19 and a D&C on 8/20. Now I am in that miserable 2cycle wait before we can TTC again.
I hope all of your waits are going smoothly. I will try to come back later on my laptop to respond to PPs. Good luck to all.

mrspipp · August 2014

@bookishmama Thanks for the check-in!

@natalie115 I hope AF arrives so that you can move to the next!

@rubysi Hopefully you get some answers soon

@amybunny30 Glad AF made her appearance!

@MrsPHD83 That is such a hard situation. Milestones are always hard, sending good vibes your way for this cycle!

@mpiemont and @creechmommy Good vibes for your upcoming tests!

AFM: It's been over a week since the Cytotec, and my betas were at 61 on Monday. Have another test next week to make sure they are back to normal, and then I am just waiting for AF. Not sure how long we will be benched, as the thought of trying again is hard for me at the moment. So we are going day by day.

mrspipp · August 2014

Thanks @amybunny30 it is a hard spot to be. I don't have a hard time thinking about trying again, it's the trying and failing that scares me. So obviously, I'm not there.

On a different note, I love your siggy bunny. I feel like he would have an English accent.

MrsPhD83 · August 2014

Amybunny30 said:

@MrsPhD83‌ I'm sorry, that is a tough situation. I can see YH's point but also yours and wanting to be there for your sis! Maybe you can come to a compromise, and only take off a month or two? I'm not sure if we will TTA or not this cycle. I ovulate pretty late typically, not until cd 24ish on average. So we have some time to figure it out. I would like to try this cycle, but it will really depend on how I handle the next few weeks. I've been making progress on getting myself into a schedule and feeling happier. I feel a little blah lately but at least not like I want to hide under my bed so that's an improvement

@Amybunny30, my initial thought was to take 2 cycles off. I would compromise and take 1 off. He doesn't want to take any off. I haven't broached the subject with MH again though. I don't really want to dredge it up if it's not necessary (i.e., we get a BFP this cycle). Blerg. But anyway! I'm glad that you're feeling better. I feel like schedules are so important, especially when getting into a funk is likely. I hope the next few weeks continue to be good for you and that TTC will be in your near future

paintdadanta · August 2014

I'm running short on time this week, so I apologize in advance if I don't get to post individual responses later for everyone. DH and I are going camping at Shenandoah for the long weekend which only gives me four days to read a textbook and write all my responses for class. Nothing really new here still waiting for my bench to burn and FX that my cycles stay normal so I can be cleared in the next couple of weeks. Hope everyone is doing well and everyone's wait times pass quickly. ((Hugs)) to you all this week.

DenaMaree · August 2014

Hello Beautiful Ladies! Today is CD1 for me and I am an emotional mess. It's not even because AF showed up as I've been cramping and spotting, streaking, since Friday. It's just my darn hormones reaking havoc

On to cycle 2 of clomid (CD5-9). Many Hugs to everyone!!

lyndz333 · August 2014

Hey @bookishmomma - Thanks for the check in. Still waiting on AF since our loss on the 11th. I thought going back to work this week would be a nice distraction from the wait but it's actual making me feel worse. I try really hard to stay optimistic as that is usually my nature but I just want to retreat onto a couch with some coffee or beer or something.

I'm sure I'll break out of this soon.

((((((((hugs)))))))) to all you ladies!

SunshineShades · August 2014

@mrspipp I completely understand the fear of ttc again. Like @Amybunny30 I knew I wanted to ttc again once I was cleared, then the time arrived and the more I thought about it the more scared I became. I ended up just going for it though after changing my mind 1000 times.

@MrsPhD83 what a difficult situation you are in. Maybe in another month or two your DH will be more understanding for you if you need to take a month or two off for your sister's wedding.

As for me, still waiting on either AF or a BFP. Since this is only my second cycle post d&c I *think* AF should be arriving next Thursday. I'll probably wait until the Saturday or Sunday to test though, since I've been known to have 26-31 day cycles before my d&c

nocompass · August 2014

Sigh. My body is so dang confused right now, that I don't really know what I'm waiting on. I guess first AF after m/c. My doctor said there's no reason for us to wait a cycle if we're ready...but...I have no clue how to figure out when I'm going to O now, so I suppose I'm waiting on AF.

BookishMomma · August 2014

natalie115 said:

I can't decide if I'm waiting to O or just waiting for AF in an annovulatory cycle. I feel fairly confident that my body tried to O on cd 14 probably through my blocked tube so I didn't actually O. Hopefully AF just shows up on time so we can move on to the next cycle.

@natalie115 I'm gonna have to agree with Rubi that I don't see any clear thermal shift on your chart. Have you been doing OPKs at all? Sorry your body is being confusing.

BookishMomma · August 2014

@Rubysi GL with your HSG tomorrow. Keep us posted.

@AmyBunny30 I hope your headache is better. I get awful headaches around AF and O time, too. Damn hormones.

@MrsPHD83 I just hate having to live my life thinking "well, maybe I'll be KU at that time, so..." I worry that I'm setting myself up for disappointment. Just wanted to let you know I've been dealing with this lately, too. ((Hugs))

BookishMomma · August 2014

@mpiemont @creechmommy Fingers crossed for you this month!

As for me, I just went out of town for the day to see a couple of friends. We had fun! Now I'm back at work today and looking forward to the long weekend.

BookishMomma · August 2014

@denamaree sorry for CD1, honey.

@ashtog oooh, I hope you enjoy the book! I'm glad you're getting a mental break from temping. I hope it helps you stress less... though I agree it's so hard not to stress about TTC.

@ctk181 welcome to the check-in. I hope we can help distract you while you wait it out.

BookishMomma · August 2014

@mrspipp I agree that taking it day by day is all we can do... I hope your betas continue to drop and that you're at zero soon. @paintdadanta‌ have fun camping! @LDubHawksFan‌ I've just got 1 more cycle to wait, too. We'll wait together! @lyndz333 Sorry you've been feeling low, honey. It's such a roller coaster. Do something to treat yourself, okay? @nocompass‌ Yeah, things are pretty confusing & wonky right after a loss, I think. I did OPKs randomly, and think I might have O-ed in the cycle after my last loss, but who knows? If you're not already temping, I don't think I'd recommend starting until a new cycle. It will just drive you batty since your body's probably still a bit out of whack. @SunshineShades‌ GL holding out to test!

MrsPhD83 · August 2014

BookishMomma said:

@MrsPHD83 I just hate having to live my life thinking "well, maybe I'll be KU at that time, so..." I worry that I'm setting myself up for disappointment. Just wanted to let you know I've been dealing with this lately, too. ((Hugs))

@BookishMomma, I saw you posted in another thread about thinking ahead about work and such, and trying to deal with the possibility of being PG at the time. I used to drive myself crazy with that. But since our loss, I've realized nothing is guaranteed, not even a positive HPT. So I'll just have to go on with my work and my life and figure it out if we are fortunate enough to get PG again. But my sister's wedding is like this one lingering thing I can't let go of. I think it's because it's a singular event and not something vague and ongoing like "work." But nothing about this is easy. Great big ((hugs)) to you.

natalie115 · August 2014

@bookishmama‌ I'm pretty sure this is going to be an annovulatory cycle. I'm just hoping AF shows up on her own so we can get to the next cycle.

nocompass · August 2014

@ashtog and @BookishMomma-I think I'll start temping when AF shows up. Part of me just wants to wait a cycle or two and just "have fun"...so, I really don't know what I want to try first.

MrsPhD83 · August 2014

@Amybunny30, I'm happy you stuck with the course too

I mean, it's really crazy how you just can't guarantee anything. I was actually offered a job back in Feb and decided to TTA so that I wouldn't be taking maternity leave so close to the start of the new job. After 8 weeks (yes, EIGHT), the person trying to hire me tells me they couldn't get final departmental approval to fund my position. So, I was like:

....and we decided to TTC, work and future new jobs and everyone else be damned. I'm even more set on this after experiencing a loss.

.....well except when it comes to my little sister's wedding. She may be the only reason we take 1 month off. Everyone else can suck it.

BookishMomma · August 2014

nocompass said:

@ashtog and @BookishMomma-I think I'll start temping when AF shows up. Part of me just wants to wait a cycle or two and just "have fun"...so, I really don't know what I want to try first.

@nocompass If you are at the stage where you can still just have fun, I say go for it! I think most of us are beyond that point, due to age, infertility factors, etc. But if I could I would in a heartbeat. You've got youth on your side

uromys · August 2014

Thank you @bookishmama for the check in. I apologize that I am a day late. I've been doing my best to keep busy lately.

@natalie115 I hope AF arrives soon so you can move on to the next cycle!

@rubysi Good Luck at with appoint tomorrow. Hoping for the best!

@ashtog Hope your book comes soon! Hope the de-stressing is going well.

@amybunny30 Glad AF finally showed up.

@MrsPHD83 I too am going to be doing the same thing. I am the MOH in my best friends wedding next year and don't want to risk missing her big day. To be honest I think MH is scared

@mpiemont Good luck with your tests. FX!

@creechmommy Good luck! FX for you!

@ctk181 Welcome ((hugs)) sorry for your loss

@paintdadanta enjoy your trip! Hope the next few weeks move quickly for you.

@denamaree (((Hugs))

@mrspipp follow your heart on that ((hugs)) only you will know when you are ready

@ldubhawksfan I hope this next cycle flies by!

@lyndz333 ((hugs)) I hope your funk ends soon. I too have been having a hard time emotionally. Ill couch drink with you! Hope you feel better soon.

@sunshineshades Good Luck testing this week. Fingers crossed time flies by for you.

@nocompass I recommend temping and opk. They've really helped me narrow down when I O'd last. CD12 is very early for me so obviously things are not back to normal on the inside.

AFM: I've been doing my best to keep busy. Hence my absence from the board the past few days. My apologies. I'm still waiting for AF. I hoping she shows her ugly face here any day now. Yet no signs that I know of. I still learning this whole temping thing and since this is my first month I don't have anything to refer it to. Hope everyone is having a good week! FX to all the 2WWs!

BethKate2 · August 2014

@natalie115, I agree with pp that I don't think you ovulated based on your temps. Having a blocked tube doesn't stop you from ovulating, though. The blocked tube can prevent sperm from reaching an egg, obviously, but it doesn't stop the ovary on that side from ovulating. It's also possible (though I don't know how likely) that the open tube can pick up an egg from the ovary on the other side.

You may end up having an anovulatory cycle, but it's not because of your blocked tube.

mpiemont · August 2014

@ashtog Yahoooo!!!!!!!!!!

matiekae · August 2014

Hey ladies, sorry I'm a little late to this check in. I am currently waiting for my first AF. We were cleared to try next cycle. My problem is we've never TTA without BCPs, and cannot stand condoms, and I have no idea what my body is up to right now...so we haven't DTD since 8/5/14 when I got my BFP (I was bleeding a bit at the beginning of my pregnancy, and even though they told me it was ok I just was too scared)! I just don't think this is good for either of us... what have you done in this situation? I bought a BBT that just came in the mail yesterday so that's out this time around as well, and I've never used OPKs but think randomly using them is not very reliable/cost effective...?

I have a call into the office today asking them to explain the risks of conception (NTNP) this early after a loss (as long as my levels are back down). If the risks are there, I'll obviously try to talk DH into condoms, but if it was just an easy answer to give me at the time I asked, I'm going after him like a spider monkey this weekend FX for a good call back (hopefully before the long ... potentially very long.. weekend)!

ctk181 · August 2014

@matiekae‌ :
I'm in the same situation with TTA except I just had a D&C last week so I'm not even cleared to DTD for another week but after that we're going the condom route. Neither one of us is thrilled about it but it's only two months so we'll survive. Maybe when you call your Dr you can ask about other BC options?

matiekae · August 2014

@MrsPhD83 I'm sorry you guys are not on the same page, that is a tough call to make though. I usually try to reverse the roles, how would you feel if you were your husband or your sister. Not easy no matter what you do though.

ctk181 said:

@matiekae‌ : I'm in the same situation with TTA except I just had a D&C last week so I'm not even cleared to DTD for another week but after that we're going the condom route. Neither one of us is thrilled about it but it's only two months so we'll survive. Maybe when you call your Dr you can ask about other BC options?

The Dr. just called and gave us the go ahead to HIO unprotected!

ctk181 · August 2014

>@matiekae‌

The Dr. just called and gave us the go ahead to HIO unprotected!

Yay! That's good news! Have a fun weekend!

forevermyfenix · August 2014

Newbie here, so I guess an intro is appropriate.

We recently lost our firstborn on July 31st due to a cord accident with no known cause. Fenix was 36 weeks, 7lb 3oz, 20 inches long, and the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on. The theory behind his loss is there was a small weak point in his umbilical cord near his belly, he yanked the cord, and it tore, causing him to bleed and go to sleep. He was big and healthy and never knew pain. It's only been 4 weeks since saying goodbye, but DH and I both want to TTC. We were both so ready to be parents. We know another baby wont ever replace Fenix, and this is likely going to be a hard, scary journey to try to have a take home baby, but I'm so glad we're on the same page about TTCAL. We feel as though we haven't been able to grieve Fenix properly because we've been grieving not being parents. We'll always be parents to our angel Fenix, but we've been grieving the return to childless young couple life.

I'm currently 6 credit hours from completing my masters in school counseling, which involves 480 more internship hours. DH is also a graduate student in counseling, but his focus is on clinical mental health. He's got 18ish credit hours left to earn. We were originally going to wait longer to TTC, until after we had both earned our degrees and moved and got stable.

But DH came home and announced if he could he would be TTC right away. And I couldn't agree more. I'd been trying to not push the topic with everything being so fresh, but we both want to be parents, soon. We agreed that we'd give ourselves time to grieve Fenix and allow me to heal and get healthy again. We agreed that we'd begin our TTCAL journey starting New Years 2015.

So, here we are. *In waiting.* and I'm finally able to properly grieve for the loss of my Fenix instead of just mourning the emptiness of our life right now. There's the smallest pinhole of hope in the darkness.

My body is apparently already ovulating, based on CM. Still waiting on AF but I suspect soon. Hopefully I'm right in that. Not used to AF anymore, esp since we conceived Fenix accidentally after I was waiting for the Depo Provera shot to wear off and have my first AF in a year before switching to another prevention method. So, *in waiting* for AF after a nearly 2 year absence.

Sorry, I tend to get long winded in posts, but there's my intro.

ctk181 · August 2014

@artgeek009‌ I'm so sorry about the loss of your son. Welcome to the check in. I hope you find the support you need here and that your stay here is short. FX that your AF shows up soon.

forevermyfenix · August 2014

@ctk181 thanks for the welcome. Sorry to read about your recent loss as well. May both of our stays be short.

BookishMomma · August 2014

@artgeek009 I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. My heart aches for you. Please know I'm sending hugs your way and lots of healing thoughts. It's encouraging that you are ovulating again already! But I'm glad you're giving yourself some time to recover emotionally. We're here for you as you wait to try again.

SunshineShades · August 2014

@artgeek009 I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I am sure you will find great support here.

OctoberStars · August 2014

Hey guys I'm new to this group. I'll probably post an into on Tuesday after my doctor's appt when I get some questions answered but I was so happy to see this waiting thread that I wanted to say hi. Don't worry, I read all the newbie stuff.

I started miscarrying on Thursday and I think passed the majority of everything just now. I'm so glad this happened relatively quickly. I was terrified waiting for when "it" would happen. Now I'm waiting for the bleeding to stop, which I hear can take a while. DH and I are doing pretty well considering we only learned Thursday that the pregnancy is over at 7.5w (carried for 9w).

After waiting for the bleeding to stop, DH and I will be waiting whatever amount of time my OB recommends before ttc again. This was our first loss, so we're going to try and stay positive and assume this was just a fluke until it happens again. I'm wondering when the best time would be to broach the subject with family to find out family history. I'm definitely still too emotional at this point to discuss it with my mom. She'll be heartbroken to hear about it. I'm just glad I waited on telling anyone, so nobody knows. Good and bad I guess. At least I have this group

OctoberStars · August 2014

@artgeek009 so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I've never heard the name Fenix before. It's such a cool name.

ctk181 · August 2014

@OctoberStars I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group. I hope you find the support you need here. Tallking to family/friends about the loss is still the most difficult part for me, there is no easy way to do it that I have found. Sending you good thoughts as you go through this.

CreechMommy · August 2014

Don't know if this is the right thread to ask this on but what to y'all count as CD 1? I've been spotting brown and a little red two days? Should I count that?

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