My mother-in-law is very excited to meet her first grandchild, but seems almost angry that we are keeping the name a secret till she is born. My own mother hasn't bothered me about it even once. Every time I see the MIL, she starts rattling off her guesses, and when we tell her to stop she says, 'well since we don't know the name, we have to do SOMETHING!" It's obnoxious and I can't stand being around her for even 10 minutes.
In addition to this, she always says 'may I?' and puts her hand out because she wants to touch the baby bump. She is already walking toward me when she does this, so how am I supposed to tell her it makes me extremely uncomfortable when people touch me? At least she is asking, I know, but she's already assuming I'll say yes. I have NO patience and ZERO tolerance for her.
Anyone have an MIL more annoying than this?
Re: MIL Won't stop trying to guess the name.
my MIL was always worried I'd get "too fat" or eat the "wrong " food to "make the kids retarded". So an excited MIL really doesn't sound that bad to be honest. You could have mine that believes everything you do is going to lead to dishonor, shame & destitution. :-??
C) if you'd rather not be touched you are well within your rights to ask her to let you be. You can move if she's already coming towards you. If she says "May I?" You can politely say, "thank you, but I'd rather not. Personal space is a big deal to me these days!"
If she gets butthurt then that's on her. I've never openly wanted to touch someone without their permission first.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
As for her always touching your belly. I have a MIL who cries anytime to do anything that even remotely upsets her and saying no she can't touch my belly would certainly start the water works. Luckily she hasn't asked because she knows I don't like being touched in general by people who are not DH. I would try to pretend you didn't hear or see her or grab her hand and give her a side hug instead. Idk but something to divert the belly touching is my best advice. Better yet, make DH talk to her since she's his mom and it's his job to deal with her. If very simply say you're hormonal and if he doesn't put an end to it what you say the next time it happen may not be very nice.
I totally understand not sharing your name, but "keeping it a secret" is probably where you lost your support here.
It drove my mother crazy that we didn't share the name - she grilled my sister for info because she was convinced she knew it (even though she didn't). For my MIL, we told her we were naming him Gandolph - because DH and his brothers are huge Lord of the Rings fans. She bought it for a while, but called our bluff - saying she was going to get monogrammed gifts for him, at which point, I had to tell her it wasn't Gandolph. She was good natured about the joke.
But you're over-reacting. Just ignore her. Yes, it's annoying that she wants to know the name and is touching your belly, but she's just excited. Let her be excited.
Totally your choice to keep the name a secret but I agree that you were inviting the constant guessing. Throw her a decoy name, that should shut her up. Or her son could say "Mom, it's not funny anymore, you're really annoying MrsKittens, please stop."
Secondly, if you don't want anyone touching you, just back away, or turn away and say no. You wouldn't let anyone touch your non-pregnant body without permission, would you? Just put an end to it.
Honesty is a high moral principle. Sometimes lying to somebody in order not to hurt their feelings (in this case making family feel excluded) and this driving you nuts in the process (and then bitching about it to internet strangers) is a higher moral principle.
And ya - LMAO at the old self-riotous "some people just don't feel comfortable lying to family members." BS - in addition to the ugly baby and sweater examples, you will lie to your child about Santa, the Easter Bunny, insert any little white lie here. In-laws call and you always say "hey, I just don't feel like talking to you right now but I'm completely not busy" every time you're just not in the mood?
Frankly it is an AW move - and a bit immature - ha ha - I know something you don't know! What's the difference if you tell them now or later - if you don't want comments simply be honest (since some people never lie) and say "this is the name, we don't want opinions." If you have the type of family that will comment anyway, you'll hear it when the child is born regardless - or maybe you'll be lucky and get some family members that will lie and say they love your name even if they think it's hideous.
Or you can use several other advice from the pp on this board as you got a lot of good advice.
If people cannot accept that, then too bad. If it really bothers you that she is trying to guess. You both (you and your DH) need to step up and tell her that it is really bothering you.
Otherwise people will continue to do what they are doing oblivious that it is annoying or bothersome to you. Since you never told them so. People are not mind readers.
Also my MIL sucks too, so my sympathy on that situation as well!
Also, I didn't want anyone touching my belly besides my husband. My mom was all over my SILs bump when she was pregnant so when I started showing I just told people directly I didn't like them touching my stomach. If you don't say anything you can't be upset when they do it.