With the help of you lovlies that I was not wrong in being upset at how my cousin handled the non-malicious shoving situation situation, I sent her an e-mail last night telling her how I was hurt by what she was insinuating about me and my husband as parents and how I know that we have different parenting but that we need to accept that we are both just doing what is best for our own children etc. She sent me back a total rude and downright bitch response. I am just raging and can't believe that she would respond so cold. I'm not even sure how I can respond, I am going to wait until I am not in such a pissy mood for sure though...
Here is what I sent:
"I was pretty hurt in the way that you seemed to insinuate that we don't discipline our child or that we have somehow taught him that pushing is ok. And it seems you think that he was somehow being malicious. The boys are 2. They don't understand that concept of how what they do affects other people. Pushing is not something that we tolerate in our house either, it's not something we have taught him or do to him. If you would have been down by the boys you would have seen that I did discipline T and give him a time out for what he did.
I know that we parent in very different ways, but I don't think that is reason for you to think that how we are raising our child is wrong. We are doing what is best for our child and our styles. I know that you are doing what is best for your child and your styles. But I felt that the way that you decided to just leave and not address the issue was maybe not the best action.
I just wanted to write to let you know how I felt. I love you and wish the best for you and your family always."
Here is how she responded:
"My child was hit once and then pushed by your child unprovoked-C was walking AWAY. C has never been hit or pushed like that by any child and he goes to Sunday school, daycare, swim lessons and preschool with other 2 year olds. The only conflicts that ever occur is when its over sharing toys (which is a teachable moment for both children), not children shoving other children for no reason. I have not witnessed behavior like that before and don't care to again. Where he learned that behavior, isn't the point. The point is that I wasn't going to wait around for it to happen again. It had already happened twice in the 10 minutes total they had even been around each other for the day. The other reason I left is that I would have given you and Micah a piece of my mind and probably said things I later came to regret, so it was safer to leave. Also C was scared to death and wanted to go home, which is very sad.
Let's just agree to disagree on this issue, as our parents styles are clearly quite different."
The italics just really pushed me over the edge, really??? We did have a sharing issue and my husband was right there and did have a teachable moment where he took the toy away and said "No C was playing with that toy, you play with this" And that was fine. I am just so sad that this is how she is going to act. We are family and it seems that she never wants to be around us ever again, which I guess means no more family events if this is how she is going to be. I read the email in line at IKEA and cried the whole way home because I can't believe how cold she is being.
TTC since August 2009
Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good
HSG September 2010 All clear
1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
TTC Blog
TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support HSG#2 November 2013 All clear
Cycle 4 Metformin, Femara, Bravelle, Ovidrel, Progesterone = BFP
Little Lady Born 8/28/2014
"There is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart to see,
the beauty of love as it was made to be"
Mumford & Sons
Re: Raging...cont of my post from Sunday...
Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
Dec 27- third miscarriage
May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good
HSG September 2010 All clear
1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
TTC Blog
TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support
FWIW, my boys have never been in a child care setting or with other children without me. DS1 shoves, hits, and bites. DS2 has never done any of these things. Same parenting, same developmental level- one does it, one does not. I NEVER taught him that and there's no way he picked it up from another child because I would have seen it. It's just normal toddler frustration and he learned it gets him what he wants.
I think, above all else, this situation proves that you know a great deal more about child development than your cousin. So sorry you are dealing with this nonsense!
12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!!
Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
Dec 27- third miscarriage
May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
TTC #2
TTC #1 4/2009 - DD 2/5/10
TTC #2 since October 2011
2IF issues
Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good
HSG September 2010 All clear
1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
TTC Blog
TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support
Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born.
6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived
10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP