Hey DH, WAKE UP!!

mommymeg143 · August 2014

This topic was discussed in the N14 everything thread already but I decided that it may be a good thread to have on the main board.

Is anyone else's DH dragging his feet when it comes to baby things? For example, my husband keeps saying we have "soo much time" before baby comes and we have PLENTY of time to get everything done. Is your husband procrastinating? If so, please feel free to vent below.

missnacholover · August 2014

Yes and no! He'll make comments about how the baby will be here before we know it but then his actions don't really match the comments, haha. We are planning to move early-ish in 2015 so our thought has been to get some packing done now of non-essentials. However, it's been slow going.

He did surprise me and bought a curtain rod to hang valances in the baby's room. I thought we were going to skip that since we're moving, but he hung them up over the weekend. Now I just want the furniture!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mommymeg143 · August 2014

Aww that was sweet of him to hang the valances for you!

I wish that I could give my DH just an ounce of my nesting energy.

missnacholover · August 2014

mommymeg143 said:

Aww that was sweet of him to hang the valances for you!

I wish that I could give my DH just an ounce of my nesting energy.

I have the mental nesting energy but the physical energy is lacking.

I am, however, chomping at the bit to wash all the itty bitty baby clothes. I'm trying to wait until after my shower though!

JamieK1882 · August 2014

Kind of. Same thing as @missnacholover. He makes comments about how baby will be here before we know it, but I'm not sure he's grasping all we have to do. He keeps saying the nursery is done. Um, no it's not. Just because there is furniture in there, it isn't "done." (and by furniture I literally mean furniture but no mattress or changing pad or anything).

He did put the glider together this weekend, though, so I was excited about that progress.

mommymeg143 · August 2014

@missnacholover...YES!! I almost washed the small amount of clothes we have this weekend but told myself to wait until after the shower so I could do it all at once!!

@JamieK1882. We have her crib (no mattress), dresser and changing table. DH thinks that is plenty! We went this weekend to get a bookshelf and glider. That didn't go over so well and we ended up leaving without either. He made the comment, "Let's just swing by and buy the glider after she gets here." He doesn't realize that the order time is 6-8 weeks.

Our neighbor gave him a book called, "Dude, you're going to be a Dad." He has yet to read it but I keep moving it to his nightstand in the hopes that he will pick it up one night.

missnacholover · August 2014

mommymeg143 said:

@missnacholover...YES!! I almost washed the small amount of clothes we have this weekend but told myself to wait until after the shower so I could do it all at once!!

@JamieK1882. We have her crib (no mattress), dresser and changing table. DH thinks that is plenty! We went this weekend to get a bookshelf and glider. That didn't go over so well and we ended up leaving without either. He made the comment, "Let's just swing by and buy the glider after she gets here." He doesn't realize that the order time is 6-8 weeks.

Our neighbor gave him a book called, "Dude, you're going to be a Dad." He has yet to read it but I keep moving it to his nightstand in the hopes that he will pick it up one night.

Put it in the bathroom where he shits. It'll be read in a week!

wildflower75 · August 2014

My husband is not procrastinating getting things for the baby.. luckily we had a baby last year so we have a lot of what we need already BUT...
he keeps planning things for the fall and winter and I'm thinking geez are you even going to be around to help me with 2 babies??? I know my mom and grandmother are going to be here but that looks bad if he's always out of the house! MH is an artist (among other things) and he is planning to have 3 Art Shows /exhibits between now and November and then a one man show for the month of December!! UGH! I haven't said anything to him about it because it's very exciting and could potentially bring in a lot of income and publicity BUT... the other day he mentioned going to finish the classes he needs for his next degree and I'm thinking... were you just going to enroll in classes and tell me after or were we going to discuss this ahead of time??? When on earth will you be finding the time to go to school? And more importantly "you're supposed to be helping me with the babies!!!" This is all besides the fact that he decided to teach a class every Saturday for most of September and October which cuts into our shopping time (new furniture is needed etc) and family time!
If the school thing comes up again we will definitely be "having a talk"!

mb314 · August 2014

DH still says, "I keep forgetting your pregnant. "

Thankfully, we don't have that much to do other than set up the co-sleeper because everything is still set up from DS1. I'll take care of the laundry. I have the nesting instinct really hard core this time - I barely had it with DS1. I'm cleaning and organizing at every turn.

And to make others feel better, when DS1 was born, we were in a small rental house, and only had the bare minimum. He had no nursery, and he just had a co-sleeper, changing table, and smaller dresser in our room. We had a bouncy seat and that was it for newborn baby gear. When we brought DS home from the hospital, the co-sleeper wasn't set up yet (and DS was on time). It worked out just fine.

brooklyngirl18 · August 2014

lol yes same thing here. DH keeps saying he can't believe how soon the baby will be here but isn't understanding how much there still is to do. he thinks we have everything. furniture and a few random outfits/clothing is not everything! he did however finally put up the last set of blinds in the house this weekend. we moved in october and he put blinds in every room except the guest bedroom that looks out the front of the house, aka people can see in those windows!! only took 10+ months lol. ive been planning small projects every weekend to make it all seem more manageable.

uncharted01 · August 2014

I'm so jealous of everyone that has ANYTHING for the baby. We don't even have a finished room for the baby

(

mommymeg143 · August 2014

If only we all lived closer together...we could have a Daddy boot camp to whip their asses into shape! We start all of our baby classes next month so i'm hoping he wakes up then. BUT i'm not getting my hopes up. If my stomach moving constantly, baby kicking him and our 3d ultrasound doesn't convince him that this baby is for reals than I don't think a class will.

Side note: I was so excited at the 3d ultrasound because Emmy looks JUST LIKE her daddy. I thought that would make his day and he would be over the moon about it. He was just like...I don't know, I can't tell... UGHHHHHH

uncharted01 · August 2014

Wolkie said:

My DH has been good with getting what we need ready and in place in time. There is just one small thing I asked him to do (regarding his behaviour), even as we were still TTC. Not something big. But it was for the better for our relationship and for us as a family. He told me he did it, promised me and I did see a big change in him and believed him. Today I found out he was lying. He never did as he promised, just hid it so well. I guess this isn't a bitch. More a :-S and total disbelief and disallusionment. I'm now really taking stock of my life and what to do now that's best for me and LO

I'm sorry

Hugs to you!

mommymeg143 · August 2014

Wolkie said:

My DH has been good with getting what we need ready and in place in time. There is just one small thing I asked him to do (regarding his behaviour), even as we were still TTC. Not something big. But it was for the better for our relationship and for us as a family. He told me he did it, promised me and I did see a big change in him and believed him. Today I found out he was lying. He never did as he promised, just hid it so well. I guess this isn't a bitch. More a :-S and total disbelief and disallusionment. I'm now really taking stock of my life and what to do now that's best for me and LO

Oh no! I'm sorry.

Hopefully he will kick whatever it is and you two can move forward. ((Hugs))

PandaCon · August 2014

Yes! I pulled the bins of newborn and 3 months clothes out of storage this weekend to start washing them and seeing where we need to fill in the gaps for this LO. DH said "You're doing that already?" I was like yes, I don't want to do it the week he's born!

We also need to clean out an area in our room to move the glider and a small dresser in for this LO. He will be rooming with us for at least the first 6 months (I don't wanna do stairs 50 times a night) and there isn't room for him in DS's room right now.

Our hope is that either A) we move before this LO needs to be moved to a room or

the church (my place of employment) get a building so that all the kids craft/prep stuff can be moved there and out of my office. Then LO can have the office as a room.

DH also keeps saying how much we have to do if we want to try and sell our house. A few things need to be brought up to code but he NEVER starts on them!

I have a huge list of closets/cupboards that need to be organized so the bottles and baby paraphernalia can be put away but he NEVER wants to help with that.

So much to do in 10 weeks. If none of it gets done we will still survive as we have diapers, wipes and a place for LO to sleep but it's going to be a rough first few weeks with one pissed off mama if some things don't get done.

End Rant! (for now!)

joshua+rebecca11 · August 2014

We pretty much have everything in place and ready, but I did most of it.

DH did hang the blinds, and helped me put the crib back together after I disassembled it to refinish it. And he helped carry the dresser/changing table in and out when I refinished it. I did all the painting and room arranging though. He's pretty good about helping, but most of the time I get the tools/supplies ready and then one evening say something like, "Can we go (right now) and set up crib/dresser/etc." and he does.
@Wolkie - I hope vey thing works out for you guys.

missnacholover · August 2014

Wolkie said:

My DH has been good with getting what we need ready and in place in time. There is just one small thing I asked him to do (regarding his behaviour), even as we were still TTC. Not something big. But it was for the better for our relationship and for us as a family. He told me he did it, promised me and I did see a big change in him and believed him. Today I found out he was lying. He never did as he promised, just hid it so well. I guess this isn't a bitch. More a :-S and total disbelief and disallusionment. I'm now really taking stock of my life and what to do now that's best for me and LO

Yikes. Sounds pretty serious. We're here if you need to chat. *hugs*

hiketheworld · August 2014

I have felt like DH is procrastinating on lots of things and I'm beginning to get very frustrated. We need daycare, life insurance, to set up a college fund, and then do stuff around the apartment- like donate a pile of stuff to make room for baby. I've asked him to take care of these things multiple times with zero progress.

MmmPopcorn · August 2014

H has actually been on the ball. We realized the baby is coming in 3 months-ish, and his natural response is to REPLACE ALL THE TOILET SEATS IN THE HOUSE! And he has also been painting baby furniture when I'm at work. He even scheduled hardwood installation after we got pregnant to make a more sanitary environment for baby (fluffy cat + carpet = unintentional shag carpet). H is also going to be a SAHD, so I think he's trying to make things as pleasant for himself as possible when baby gets here.

missnacholover · August 2014

MmmPopcorn said:

H has actually been on the ball. We realized the baby is coming in 3 months-ish, and his natural response is to REPLACE ALL THE TOILET SEATS IN THE HOUSE! And he has also been painting baby furniture when I'm at work. He even scheduled hardwood installation after we got pregnant to make a more sanitary environment for baby (fluffy cat + carpet = unintentional shag carpet). H is also going to be a SAHD, so I think he's trying to make things as pleasant for himself as possible when baby gets here.

I'm LOLing at this. Boys are weird.

mslynn2012 · August 2014

We (more or less) have everything in place/clothes washed and hung, and almost all set up (still need to set up the swing and pnp downstairs, but that's it).

This is ONLY because 1) we just had DS last April, 2) DH and I teach so we knew we needed to get 'ish done during the summer as the beginning of the school year is hectic and 3) DH coaches bball, and that season starts mid-October.

Basically it's now or never.

LoR2010 · August 2014

DH made sure to paint the nursery, build the crib, and hang the curtains before football season starts. He is a coach so I basically won't see him from now until Baby Q arrives. I had my doubts but he came through. The rest I can take care of myself.

Ineedmorecoffee · August 2014

Yes!!!! We barley started buying a couple small things and he still side eyes me when I buy her clothes. He thinks we have a ton of time and that it's still too early. I'm like...uhh no we need to get the ball rolling!

kfo22 · August 2014

DH has been building a dresser/changing table for the past month. It was supposed to be a weekend project.

But he's really on top of making sure he spends time with his friends before he's on infant lockdown.

silverwings72 · August 2014

I have a crib and a changing table sitting in my living room. Still in boxes. We have to clean out our guest room to make it the nursery, he has been slooooowly doing this. It's killing me.

He hung up curtains in the room over the weekend. Curtains we will not be using because they have a freaking hole in them. I would never say this to him but I don't care about hanging curtains! Just clean out all this crap so we have an empty room!!! Ugh.... I have a feeling im going to have to be more direct and hands on. Guess what we will be doing this weekend? FML

ColtiersMom · August 2014

mommymeg143 said:
@missnacholover...YES!! I almost washed the small amount of clothes we have this weekend but told myself to wait until after the shower so I could do it all at once!!

@JamieK1882. We have her crib (no mattress), dresser and changing table. DH thinks that is plenty! We went this weekend to get a bookshelf and glider. That didn't go over so well and we ended up leaving without either. He made the comment, "Let's just swing by and buy the glider after she gets here." He doesn't realize that the order time is 6-8 weeks.

Our neighbor gave him a book called, "Dude, you're going to be a Dad." He has yet to read it but I keep moving it to his nightstand in the hopes that he will pick it up one night.

I got my DH to read his daddy book when I was pregnant with DS by putting it on the back of the toilet:)

MrsTuna08 · August 2014

I think DH is a bit in denial about this whole baby thing. He is definitely dragging his feet with preparations. This baby was planned and was desperately wanted by both of us, but now that we are down to about 3 months he is starting to freak out a bit. I think the transition has been easier for me because I had to start making changes the second I knew I was pregnant, but he just sort of sees the changes he'll have to make looming in the distance.

So far I've been the one pushing to do things - order the crib and glider, start buying PJs, curating the registry, setting up our classes. He's going to have to step into line soon because I'm not going to be able to put the furniture together by myself and he is absolutely going to those classes!

Ncap9022 · August 2014

Y'all are way ahead of us still! I'm due in November but baby doesn't even have a bedroom...yet his daughter from his previous marriage who is here only part time has our second bedroom. We don't have a crib, just a handful of hand me down clothes. He's very "we have time" and I'm like uhhh 12 weeks is NOT time. This isn't how I pictured things going for my first child...

soulcupcake · August 2014

I have purchased some clothes and a stuffed bunny. That's it. I figure we'll get most of what we need in Sept-Oct time frame. I tend to procrastinate as it is, and I have to start from scratch this time since I no longer have baby stuff.

I've been down this road four other times. This is his first. I know he's both anxious and excited, and knows we'll have to start preparing for real in the coming months. However, we are minimalists and I don't do nurseries, so that cuts down on a lot of what we need to get.

KMW08 · August 2014

He's getting there. He bought smoke alarms (we've needed these) since we have a wood stove.

I'm still waiting to get LOs room painted. Hopefully dh will find motivation soon, because I'm tired of all this baby stuff taking up other space in the house.

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