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March 2015 Moms
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Baby Shower

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Re: Baby Shower

  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    By the way she isn't throwing her own shower. Someone's having it for her and it's a small group of people not that it matters.
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    How is she being greedy? She said people don't even have to bring gifts...she is getting together with her girlfriends.

    I'm sorry I'm not following. She's throwing HERSELF a THIRD baby shower? What does the invitation say?
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    I'm not trying to argue. I was trying to be supportive. She's NOT throwing her own baby shower but she knows about it. And it's potluck style just girls getting together. It's more about support. Like I said were military with no family around so this kind of support is needed. I'm not here to argue but I guess it looks that way.
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    By the way she isn't throwing her own shower. Someone's having it for her and it's a small group of people not that it matters.

    Okay so then she doesn't get to dictate whether gifts are brought or not, she's not the host.. I don't get it. Has all common courtesy and etiquette gone out the window? You guys realize you can all get together without the gifts right? I mean honestly what does someone with two kids even need...
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    I'm not trying to argue. I was trying to be supportive. She's NOT throwing her own baby shower but she knows about it. And it's potluck style just girls getting together. It's more about support. Like I said were military with no family around so this kind of support is needed. I'm not here to argue but I guess it looks that way.

    I'm sorry but youre all over the place and keep backtracking so I have no clue what you're saying, forgive me for trying to understand what's going on here. And I'll say it for the third time: can you guys not get together and be supportive without presents? I'm being serious
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    What the heck do you call it then? Your missing the point that's it's just for support. I'm sorry I didn't get the etiquette down right. Who cares what it's called?
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    Yes I am all over the place sorry. Hormones are everywhere. Yes you can get together without gifts. I'll just be done now.
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    What the heck do you call it then? Your missing the point that's it's just for support. I'm sorry I didn't get the etiquette down right. Who cares what it's called?

    We are arguing that baby showers for a second child when the first has been born recently are tacky, as well as throwing your own shower is tacky. You came in here defending the opposite of what we're saying and apparently what you're describing isn't even a shower. If it's JUST for support- it's not a baby shower. Baby SHOWERS are to SHOWER the mom to be and welcome her to motherhood. If you're on your third kid, that is irrelevant.
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    What do you call it then?
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    Yes I am all over the place sorry. Hormones are everywhere. Yes you can get together without gifts. I'll just be done now.

    Idk why you're getting so mad we're just trying to figure out what the hell you're talking about...
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    Sorry for calling it the wrong thing. And sorry for getting worked up. Everyone has their own opinion.
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    She has a registry but no you don't have to bring anything. I guess I won't say it's for support since I said that already and she's not throwing it herself. It's just a get together with friends. Are you not familiar with military having no family nearby? This is family to us.
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  • surpriseoldladysurpriseoldlady member
    My co-workers have already started talking about having a baby shower for me. First, slow your roll...I'm like 2 min pregnant. It's way too early to be thinking about showers. I said it wasn't necessary, but I don't think they will listen. This is my second child, my first was 10 years ago, but I still don't think it's appropriate for people to feel obligated to get me gifts. I've worked with this group for 15 yrs, and they are some headstrong heffers (self proclaimed), so I don't think I'll be able to change their minds. When I objected, they asked why I was trying to deny them cake!
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    She has a registry but no you don't have to bring anything. I guess I won't say it's for support since I said that already and she's not throwing it herself. It's just a get together with friends. Are you not familiar with military having no family nearby? This is family to us.

    I seriously don't think you're even hearing us lol. My stepdad was in the military. I'm well aware of being states away from all family and friends and fellow army families being your "family." That being said... It's still tacky. I'm sorry. There is no need for a registry for a third child. Support has nothing to do with it. You can be with your friend and comfort her and be there when she needs you... Baby showers have nothing to do with that. I don't think I can try any harder to differentiate support and baby showers. The two aren't the same thing.
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    I apologized and said that everyone has their own opinions but obviously nobody saw that. Her registry had very low prices items on it. I bought an outfit for her and that's it. I don't think she's expecting anyone to and even told people not to. I'm not having a baby shower but lunch with friends would be nice. And yeah it's way to soon to think about it.
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    No the friend organizing it had her create it. But I'm done now. Pregnancy hormones have me all over the place. I wasn't trying to start anything and I've never been that person.
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  • janda426janda426 member
    mrsroylong said:
    No the friend organizing it had her create it. But I'm done now. Pregnancy hormones have me all over the place. I wasn't trying to start anything and I've never been that person.

    If she didn't want gifts she should've just said no. Free will is a thing lol. But yeah I agree this couldn't possibly get any more beaten down. It sounds like a pretty tacky situation and I'm just glad I'm not involved
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    Fine I'm wrong. Your right? Better.
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  • mrsroylongmrsroylong member
    You are.
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  • capuletcapulet member
    Okay, etiquette of the big brother party/second shower aside, and having been through this with my own then-four-year-old, I don't think the best way to prepare a kid that age for no longer being the center of attention is to throw a party where he's the center of attention.  There are a lot more concrete ways to prepare him for being a big brother:  sibling classes at the hospital if yours offers one, books about becoming a big brother/sister (e.g. there are a couple in the Berenstain Bears series), helping your child pick out a gift, maybe a toy he had as a baby, to give his baby brother/sister at the hospital, finding actual babies he can meet in person (most kids that age don't really understand how different babies are unless they've been around them).

    Also, when people gave us baby gifts for DS, they would often give a little something to DD too, and at least one uncle (she has six) made a point of giving her extra attention when everyone else was focused on DS.  A lot of people realize that the oldest child will appreciate feeling special when everything becomes all about the new baby.  It's not something you need to force IMO.
    DD born 10/10/07 * DS born 11/25/11 * #3 due 3/9/2015
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  • capuletcapulet member
    saucylittlemonkeygirl said:
    @janda426... "I mean honestly what does someone with two kids even need...

    More money!!
    YES.

    But seriously, we need more new stuff for #3 than #2.  Infant seat's expired, stroller's busted, and there's a lot of other stuff I gave away because I didn't want to keep moving/storing it when I didn't know for sure we'd have another baby.  Of course we can and will buy it all ourselves, but you can't always reuse everything from the first baby indefinitely.
    DD born 10/10/07 * DS born 11/25/11 * #3 due 3/9/2015
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  • molassamolassa member
    I think getting your older child involved is fine! Family threw me showers with all three previous children. I don't plan on a shower with number four unless someone insists on throwing one.
    I may even just have a very small gathering of close friends and family to celebrate after baby comes but no one would be obligated to buy anything.
    Do what feels right for you. Nothing wrong with planning ahead!
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  • janda426janda426 member
    molassa said:

    I think getting your older child involved is fine! Family threw me showers with all three previous children. I don't plan on a shower with number four unless someone insists on throwing one.
    I may even just have a very small gathering of close friends and family to celebrate after baby comes but no one would be obligated to buy anything.
    Do what feels right for you. Nothing wrong with planning ahead!

    You're right there's nothing wrong with planning ahead, but there is something wrong with friends and family footing the bill for every kid you produce.
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  • janda426janda426 member
    estamos_tomamos said:

    Hey hey, @Molassa came back after all!  How fucking awesome!  I didn't think we'd see you again in this ugly corner of the internet.

    I knew that looked familiar
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  • jnowosielskijnowosielski member
    Wow. I thought it was bad when one of my friends complained about people not buying from her registry. Guess that was nothing.
    image

    But it's OK. Because:

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • jnowosielskijnowosielski member
    @janda426‌ aside from being tacky, it makes zero sense. What are the things you are registering for if you don't need anything?
    image

    But it's OK. Because:

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • molassamolassa member
    You're right there's nothing wrong with planning ahead, but there is something wrong with friends and family footing the bill for every kid you produce.




    Hmmmm....well, I didn't say that did I?
    How about you stick to responding based on what the person actually writes, not what you assume?
    And for God's sake grow up!

    I called out the psycho attention whores and now I'm not allowed to comment?
    Guess what?
    I don't even care.

    You guys are pitiful.

    Who cares if someone throws a baby shower? Or doesn't! It doesn't matter and there is a way to respectfully respond to an original poster without acting like a raging lunatic.
    Really, you all should try it.
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  • molassamolassa member
    Well you said it, not me. :)
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  • molassamolassa member
    I must've mistaken this for a board for adults.
    Hmmmm....

    Carry on children.

    To those who can answer a poster's question without resorting to shaming or putting them down, I salute you!

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  • FrecklesInsideFrecklesInside member
    And yea, TB never forgets. We already asked why you would want to post somewhere where you hate all of the regular contributors. Not sure why you didn't get banned in the first place, I thought I recalled some pretty serious name calling. Why would we forget that? @molassa
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