November 2013 Moms
Ninjamama86
member
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Help me not kill my mother
Ninjamama86
member
I love my mother, because she is my mother. That said... I just want to strangle her.
She watches the baby for me once a week at my home, during the day while I sleep. I have told her countless times to wake me to feed her. Today, again, she thawed a bottlle and gave it to M while I slept.
"I only gave her a little"
... Yeah but now the rest if the bottle is useless. 5oz, in the garbage.
"You we're asleep"
... Who cares?! I wake to feed her every night I'm home what's the difference
It took everything in me not to come off like the worlds biggest bitch about it. Spinning off yesterday's 9mos breastfeeding thread, my supply is dropping and my stash sucks and we're going to have to supplement soon. I know that the one bag isn't going to give us much more time, it's just so frustrating that she can't follow instructions as simple as "wake me to feed"
In addition to this she makes my house a mess - my kitchen always has food/crumbs over it, even if I just cleaned if the day before; she can't bring herself to throw the diaper in the diaper pail - she literally leaves the dirty diapers, unrolled, on the changing table. And she always leaves the wipes container open and dries them out.
Truthfully, I don't NEED her to watch M for me. My step mom doesn't work and helps us out one day a week also, without all these annoying things, and could easily watch her for us the 2nd day a week. BUT mom mom would be absolutely heartbroken if she didn't get to watch her
I don't know how to constructively criticize my mother without making her feel like an idiot (like she is) or sounding threatening "stop doing these annoying things, or else I'm taking your baby sitting day away from you!!"
Help, what do I do? How do I fix this
She watches the baby for me once a week at my home, during the day while I sleep. I have told her countless times to wake me to feed her. Today, again, she thawed a bottlle and gave it to M while I slept.
"I only gave her a little"
... Yeah but now the rest if the bottle is useless. 5oz, in the garbage.
"You we're asleep"
... Who cares?! I wake to feed her every night I'm home what's the difference
It took everything in me not to come off like the worlds biggest bitch about it. Spinning off yesterday's 9mos breastfeeding thread, my supply is dropping and my stash sucks and we're going to have to supplement soon. I know that the one bag isn't going to give us much more time, it's just so frustrating that she can't follow instructions as simple as "wake me to feed"
In addition to this she makes my house a mess - my kitchen always has food/crumbs over it, even if I just cleaned if the day before; she can't bring herself to throw the diaper in the diaper pail - she literally leaves the dirty diapers, unrolled, on the changing table. And she always leaves the wipes container open and dries them out.
Truthfully, I don't NEED her to watch M for me. My step mom doesn't work and helps us out one day a week also, without all these annoying things, and could easily watch her for us the 2nd day a week. BUT mom mom would be absolutely heartbroken if she didn't get to watch her
I don't know how to constructively criticize my mother without making her feel like an idiot (like she is) or sounding threatening "stop doing these annoying things, or else I'm taking your baby sitting day away from you!!"
Help, what do I do? How do I fix this
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Re: Help me not kill my mother
She can listen or she can keep doing it the way she has but at least you had a conversation with her about the annoyances and gave her an opportunity to discuss them with you or modify her behavior.
Perhaps it qualifies as a first world problem
Complaining about the crumbs and diaper left out when your mom is providing you with free child care is ridiculous. It only takes a couple minutes at the most to clean that up.
There really is no way to not sound like you are threatening to take away her babysitting time her granddaughter because that is in essence exactly what you are doing.
I would just reiterate your wishes or you could just set an alarm and wake up and feed LO.
#LOLFITMAMA
It's totally a first world problem that I have other options for free childcare.
If my schedule doesn't require her to come watch her one week she gets sad, she misses the baby.
I love that she loves her so much, love that she wants to see her. I guess the problem is that she and I just have our issues. Our relationship hasn't changed in the 10 years since high school - we're not that close, and it seems everything she does annoys me. I'm much closer to my dad and step mom (which makes my mother insane)
I have a stroller here and I tell my mom she can walk her, she doesn't. I tell her to give her baby food, even leave it out for her, and it's hit or miss if she'll feed it to her.
I see her sometimes when she's not baby sitting for me, usually when we're visiting my grandma, I just can only tolerate her in small doses. I love her but I am very easily frustrated and annoyed in her company. My biggest parenting fear is M and I having a relationship like that of me and my mother. She's not a bad person, not a bad mom (she was a single parent, perhaps could have done better but I know she did her best and loves us unconditionally)
At this point it looks like you are trying to find things to be annoyed about.
I'm thinking your mom is helping you in the ways she wishes she had been helped when you were a kid instead of trying to see what you need. Keep in mind, what she's doing, it's coming from the heart and she means well.