U to the O

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

I double lunch. I prefer to call it double breakfast, single lunch though.

Also, someone please point out the downsides to eating an english muffin/egg/cheese/ham sandwich for breakfast #1 every.single.day. You would think that after 10 weeks it wouldn't sound good anymore. Nope, every morning it sounds like the best breakfast on the planet.

Stasi · August 2014

tinyhumantoe said:

BillyMollyEmmy said:

I have one today:

When someone says something is "meant to be" or "God has a plan" or "everything happens for a reason" I want to punch them in the fucking head.

Yup.

Agreed. It's in God's plans that I punch you in the head for saying that to me!

AlinnJo · August 2014

BillyMollyEmmy said:

I have one today:

When someone says something is "meant to be" or "God has a plan" or "everything happens for a reason" I want to punch them in the fucking head.

Yes. x1000000

smb+jab · August 2014

Don't ask me - I once ate a bagel with peanut butter every day for a year and half.....

one I get addicted to something i like, its hard to stop!

Stasi · August 2014

hmp1 said:

MRoxy0628 said:

Dang I actually have one! At a casual lunch of say, 4, if three plates are delivered and the fourth is told it will be a couple minutes, that person should tell everyone to please start their meals. Especially if anyone has a hot plate. Eta: and ESPECIALLY if that person is a male and there is a female at the table with a hot plate.
When waiting for other people's food to arrive, I don't think I've ever had someone NOT say, go ahead and start without me. Maybe he isn't up on etiquette or he didn't notice you all were waiting?

I very rarely go ahead and eat unless the kitchen messed up and it will be a bit, but I have never been in a situation when someone didn't tell us to go ahead.

Same here, I always wait for the okay, and even then I only pick at my meal. It has more to do with not wanting 3 or 4 people to be 75% of the way through a meal, while #4 is still waiting to even start eating. Of course...I'm thinking of lunch with co-workers where you don't have all that much time anyway...

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

Sometimes I wonder if the everything-happens-for-a-reason people take it a step further and say that to someone who just lost a loved one in a tragic accident. Do they have any boundaries, and if so where do they start?

Also, the God's plan line *could* be used from one member of a church to another member of the same, if that's a core belief of that community. But keep it away from my football-on-sunday ass. I don't share the same sentiment, thank you.

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

I almost always wait too @hmp1 and @stasi, so my complaint is really stupid. But I still think it's rude not to tell everyone to go ahead.

AlinnJo · August 2014

I find it annoying that someone on Facebook just asked if she could use someone's Sam's Club membership to buy something. If you don't have friends or family that you can personally call or ask, then you shouldn't ask people on Facebook whom you never really talk to. Annoying.

MarisaKathleen · August 2014

Shitty cookies brought in cookies for the first day of school. They're actually delicious. I complimented him and everything.

I feel like this is progress for all of us.

He's learning to finally bake and I'm learning to not mock his height and lack of culinary skills.

I wish I could stop being underlined. :-(

MommaP12 · August 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

Shitty cookies brought in cookies for the first day of school. They're actually delicious. I complimented him and everything.

I feel like this is progress for all of us.

He's learning to finally bake and I'm learning to not mock his height and lack of culinary skills.

I wish I could stop being underlined. :-(

BUT HIS NAME WILL LIVE ON!

BillyMollyEmmy · August 2014

It doesn't matter if he turns into Martha Stewart, he will forever be Shitty Cookies.

watercolor5 · August 2014

If you are an animal shelter or animal rescue place, or any kind of organization trying to find homes for abandoned dogs/cats, I don't think you should be super strict on your application process.

My mom applied to adopt a dog, and got turned down. She's had dogs since her childhood and has given every dog a long and well-cared for life. When she called and asked why she was turned down, they said they couldn't divulge that, but to keep applying. When my SIL asked why she was turned down, they said she didn't have enough "feel-good statements" about loving the dog.

Fast-forward 2 months, and the dog she applied for is still at the animal rescue place and my mom is still looking to adopt a dog. I realize this place doesn't put animals down, but it does save animals from shelters that do... so if they moved more animals into homes, more animals could be saved.

Flame away, but adopting a dog is not like adopting a child. If the animal will be loved, taken to the vet, and not abused, let people adopt!

Hyaline · August 2014

tinyhumantoe said:

Sometimes I wonder if the everything-happens-for-a-reason people take it a step further and say that to someone who just lost a loved one in a tragic accident. Do they have any boundaries, and if so where do they start?

Also, the God's plan line *could* be used from one member of a church to another member of the same, if that's a core belief of that community. But keep it away from my football-on-sunday ass. I don't share the same sentiment, thank you.

That's the thing--I truly do believe that we are all in God's plan. Or more precisely, that God uses all things for good and that He is present in all things.

But I would never say that to someone without knowing FOR SURE that it is a concept that brings them comfort. Believing something is true isn't an open invitation to tell people that thing when it could be hurtful.

MrsKipper · August 2014

@BobKat22‌ I was feeling the same way before Camden was born. We actually did rehome one of our dogs to DH's aunt. Her dog had just died and she really wanted him. She instantly fell in love with him and he gets so much attention and play time with her, her daughter and grand daughter. We still get to see him and I really believe he's happier with them.

ETA: I should add that if she hadn't asked to take him we would still have him. There was no way we would have given him to someone we didn't know and trust.

Hyaline · August 2014

jenndub said:

@BobKat22 I'm sorry that you're feeling that way. When I was younger, my dad went through a lot of depression and anxiety issues. For some reason, one of the things that was driving him over the edge was our dog. We ended up giving him to my best friend, that way my dad didn't have to deal with him and we could still see the dog all of the time. Do you have any friends that might be willing to take your dogs temporarily or possibly forever? I'm not cool with people that just get rid of their pets because they're a nuisance or too much responsibility. But I think that if it's a mental health issue, it's different. Good luck with whatever you decide and I hope you find a way to calm your mind.

Eh, I'm an asshole but I guess, to me, it makes very little difference what your reason is for dumping a pet at a shelter. The reason doesn't really matter (unless we're talking active endangerment of the family or other pets by the animal) because the end result is the same--the animal gets put down. If you can find a rehoming solution, that's different to me. (FWIW I'd say the same thing if someone was dealing with a physical health issue instead of a mental health issue--find a solution that doesn't involve dumping the pet at a shelter. You took responsibility for that animal's life when you adopted it, and that means in good time and bad. Sorry, like I said, I'm an asshole.)

UO: Most people really don't get that dropping off your pet at a shelter is a death sentence for that animal or another animal. In most cases, an abandoned animal is put down. And if not, another animal doesn't get adopted and gets put down. "But it's a no-kill shelter!" Yeah, most of those have limits for how many animals they can take--and yours being there means another pet is going to the kill shelter. Makes me crazy. If you don't want to be responsible, take it to the vet and pay for it to be put to sleep. Don't foist that responsibility on someone else.

MRoxy0628 · August 2014

I agree with @Hyaline‌. I'd look into getting myself some help for my anxiety before getting rid of my pet(s).

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

@watercolor5 Did she put on the application that the dog would be anything other than "indoor only."

I volunteer at our shelter, and I flat out told my friend's dad to lie on his application. He raises thoroughbred horses and his barn is heated and nicer than my house. They would not have let him adopt a dog if he divulged that it would live in its own quarters of a multimillion dollar barn.

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

Yah, no taking a pet to a shelter. It's so traumatic for them.

And if another family begged to take my awful fuckhead dog (who is very cute), I wouldn't do it because the rehoming process would be hard on him, he's too old, and I guarantee there isn't another person on earth that could be as nice to a piss-on-everything dog as we are.

watercolor5 · August 2014

@tinyhumantoe Yes, she has a fenced backyard. In the summertime she takes her dog with her to her lakehouse in the adirondacks and goes hiking with it.

That's just it- if someone who would be a great pet-owner has to lie on the application, then the system is messed up. If you're going to be that stringent, then have someone go to the home and check out the living quarters, though IMO that's taking it a bit far to find a pet owner.

MRoxy0628 · August 2014

watercolor5 said:
@tinyhumantoe Yes, she has a fenced backyard. In the summertime she takes her dog with her to her lakehouse in the adirondacks and goes hiking with it.

That's just it- if someone who would be a great pet-owner has to lie on the application, then the system is messed up. If you're going to be that stringent, then have someone go to the home and check out the living quarters, though IMO that's taking it a bit far to find a pet owner.

The rescue organizations here do home visits, but I'm guessing the humane society doesn't. I think they're stringent because they don't want them brought back. I hear you though, that's frustrating! Especially hearing the dog she wanted to adopt is still there!

MrsKipper · August 2014

If a weight loss product states that you don't have change your eating or start exercising to get results, I think you should stay far far away! No weight loss can be sustained unless you change your eating and do a bit of exercise. You're just setting yourself up for yo-yoing!

I'm mainly referring to Plexus and these body wraps (which just shrinks your fat cells).

MarisaKathleen · August 2014

I am someone who really does believe the "it happens for a reason" even if the reason is unknown. My Mom and I were just talking about this earlier this week. It took me over 4 years to get pregnant with Nancy. Drugs, tests, surgery, stress, & so much suckage. Then I finally get pregnant and my Dad dies, my Grandma dies, and my Grandpa dies. In less than 6 months time! And both of my sisters got cancer! Come on already! What the hell?!

And yet I can look at it now, 2 years later and realize that my family has never ever been closer. That I was able to get rid of the toxic relationships in my life and put everything else into perspective. For me, life is too short to worry about 90% of the things that people get all crazy about. My siblings are all 10-18 years older than me, so we've never been close. Until my Dad died. Now I talk to my sisters at least once a week. I'm not saying I'm happy that any of this stuff happened to me, but I can appreciate the good that came out of so much suck and see the purpose in it.

I don't give people the "everything happens for a reason" line unless I know that they feel that way too, but I truly do believe that the universe has a way of helping you make sense of things after the fact.

jenndub · August 2014

Pretty sure I didn't advise anyone to drop their pet at a shelter. In the example I provided, we rehomed to my best friend. And I was a kid, with a severely depressed dad, who I'm pretty sure would have rehomed me and my two brothers if he had the option. I think if you have a pet, you need to be responsible and not dump them at a shelter because they're an inconvenience. I also think, if someone is struggling with mental health issues, you need to do anything you can to put their needs first. Which includes the heartbreaking choice of sending your dog away because your dad can't handle it.

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

Oh shit, I was agreeing with whomever's post was above mine with the no shelter comment, maybe hyaline's? Too lazy to scroll. I was not replying to @bobkat22 or @jenndub. I don't think anyone here was advising that.

MRoxy0628 · August 2014

@jenndub‌ My comments were not to you and I understand you had no control over your dad or his mental health. I'm glad you were able to find your dog a good home.

My comments were originally stemming from what @marisakathleen brought up about her friend. This is a topic I feel strongly about.

@BobKat22‌ I'm sorry you're having a tough time. You've mentioned your anxiety here quite a few times. Have you thought about talking to a therapist or doctor to help managing it?

MarisaKathleen · August 2014

My girlfriend is on the board for a Border Collie Rescue in WI and they do site visits and have a ridiculous approval process before they let you adopt a dog. You even have to have a certain income level. It's asinine.

@.

BillyMollyEmmy · August 2014

MarisaKathleen said:

I am someone who really does believe the "it happens for a reason" even if the reason is unknown. My Mom and I were just talking about this earlier this week. It took me over 4 years to get pregnant with Nancy. Drugs, tests, surgery, stress, & so much suckage. Then I finally get pregnant and my Dad dies, my Grandma dies, and my Grandpa dies. In less than 6 months time! And both of my sisters got cancer! Come on already! What the hell?!

And yet I can look at it now, 2 years later and realize that my family has never ever been closer. That I was able to get rid of the toxic relationships in my life and put everything else into perspective. For me, life is too short to worry about 90% of the things that people get all crazy about. My siblings are all 10-18 years older than me, so we've never been close. Until my Dad died. Now I talk to my sisters at least once a week. I'm not saying I'm happy that any of this stuff happened to me, but I can appreciate the good that came out of so much suck and see the purpose in it.

I don't give people the "everything happens for a reason" line unless I know that they feel that way too, but I truly do believe that the universe has a way of helping you make sense of things after the fact.

I'm not necessarily in the boat of not believing it, I just think it's really aggravating when you are going through something really upsetting and that line is thrown at you.

Like I would never say that to someone who lost a baby. "You know, everything happens for a reason." I would expect a punch in the face.

Also I think that when you DO believe that everything happens for a reason, it's because you're able to reflect on your situation in hindsight and think to yourself, "Yes, I understand now why that happened, because it led me here, here and here." In the moment, I don't always think that.

edit: no snark intended in this comment

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

Hyaline said:

UO: Most people really don't get that dropping off your pet at a shelter is a death sentence for that animal or another animal. In most cases, an abandoned animal is put down. And if not, another animal doesn't get adopted and gets put down. "But it's a no-kill shelter!" Yeah, most of those have limits for how many animals they can take--and yours being there means another pet is going to the kill shelter. Makes me crazy. If you don't want to be responsible, take it to the vet and pay for it to be put to sleep. Don't foist that responsibility on someone else.

Ok I got unlazy. I was agreeing with this. And I was thinking more along the lines of people who get overwhelmed or sick of taking care of a pet and take it to a shelter. I was not intending to opine on every sad and/or unique situation. There are situations where a pet has to leave a household.

L8kissie · August 2014

I was taught that you didn't go ahead and eat, even if that person said it was alright. You politely waited until everyone had their food.

We've had big parties for the kids up until now that have mostly been our friends. Dd doesn't yet have friends that aren't children of my friends. Besides, she doesn't care who comes to play. Therefore, I've put a no presents request on the invitations to try to keep from being seen as present grabby. Now I'm worried that is rude as well.

MRoxy0628 · August 2014

I'm going to act and dress as though it's summer until the first day of Fall. It's still pretty hot here in MN the first few weeks of September anyway.

MarisaKathleen · August 2014

BillyMollyEmmy said:

MarisaKathleen said:

I am someone who really does believe the "it happens for a reason" even if the reason is unknown. My Mom and I were just talking about this earlier this week. It took me over 4 years to get pregnant with Nancy. Drugs, tests, surgery, stress, & so much suckage. Then I finally get pregnant and my Dad dies, my Grandma dies, and my Grandpa dies. In less than 6 months time! And both of my sisters got cancer! Come on already! What the hell?!

And yet I can look at it now, 2 years later and realize that my family has never ever been closer. That I was able to get rid of the toxic relationships in my life and put everything else into perspective. For me, life is too short to worry about 90% of the things that people get all crazy about. My siblings are all 10-18 years older than me, so we've never been close. Until my Dad died. Now I talk to my sisters at least once a week. I'm not saying I'm happy that any of this stuff happened to me, but I can appreciate the good that came out of so much suck and see the purpose in it.

I don't give people the "everything happens for a reason" line unless I know that they feel that way too, but I truly do believe that the universe has a way of helping you make sense of things after the fact.

I'm not necessarily in the boat of not believing it, I just think it's really aggravating when you are going through something really upsetting and that line is thrown at you.

Like I would never say that to someone who lost a baby. "You know, everything happens for a reason." I would expect a punch in the face.

Also I think that when you DO believe that everything happens for a reason, it's because you're able to reflect on your situation in hindsight and think to yourself, "Yes, I understand now why that happened, because it led me here, here and here." In the moment, I don't always think that.

edit: no snark intended in this comment

STUCK:
ITA! when we were going through all of our TTC stuff, I would have been fine throat punching anyone who dared say something so stupid to me. When you're going through stressful shit, you're not thinking clearly, and you're emotional and the last thing you want is some asshat telling you that "everything happens for a reason" or "this was meant to be." Especially related to death/loss. I remember at my Grandma's funeral my stupid cousin kept saying "Grandma's in a better place." Dude. Come on. Rationally, yes, I do believe that because I believe in heaven & hell, but I don't want to hear that while we're standing at her grave. Knowing the kind of life my grandma would have had if she had lived, I know that her dying was the best possible outcome and that she is in a better place, but I don't want to hear you say it. I also wholeheartedly believe that a lot of people have no tact, so there's that. :-)

cmarie520 · August 2014

My UO for the day: no one should be allowed to eat tuna and pickled eggs for lunch in an office. Brought to you by my staff assistant. I think even if I wasn't pregnant the smell would make me want to puke.

MarisaKathleen · August 2014

cmarie520 said:

My UO for the day: no one should be allowed to eat tuna and pickled eggs for lunch in an office. Brought to you by my staff assistant. I think even if I wasn't pregnant the smell would make me want to puke.

This is the kind of person who I imagine would microwave fish.

Pokedot · August 2014

I think this is ridiculous:

Pink Personalized Plate

Must everything have a name/monogram now? So stupid.

As for saying "everything happens for a reason" to me it makes sense in certain situations. Not losing a child/loved one, infertility issues etc but I truly feel like when I broke off an engagement and 2 months later found DH. Yes that happened for a reason. We found eachother after bothing being in very long term relationships, like 7+ years.

As for rescue pets I feel like there needs to be a process of approve/denial. However checking one box off shouldn't automatically disqualify you from being a pet owner. I think each situation is unique much like each animal/owner is unique. Giving your pet away is never easy but I'd rather see the pet go to a no kill shelter than given away on a BST site. A lot of people are there to get pets, resell them, use them for puppy mills or can't get approved from their local shelter.

MRoxy0628 · August 2014

A lot of people are there to get pets, resell them, use them for puppy mills or can't get approved from their local shelter.

That's horrible.

MarisaKathleen · August 2014

I'm still hungry. I have no snacks at work left because in all reality, I'm only here another week and then i'll be gone for 3 months.

I even ate the desk applesauce that's been in my desk for like 6 months. :-(

MRoxy0628 · August 2014

BobKat22 said:
@MRoxy0628‌ I've given it a lot of thought. I think I'm just too embarrassed. DH knows I'm bat shit crazy half the time, but I still think he'd think I was being dramatic if I went to see someone. I fully intend on coming forward to my OB as soon as this baby is born because I know it will be bad. And I'll be encapsulating my placenta to see if that helps too.

I just try to eliminate the stressors that cause me problems at that time. I recently cut my call hours in half at work. That has helped make work life much better. Paycheck sucks, but money isn't worth everything.

Just my two cents as someone who has anxiety and is a mental health professional: some people (myself included) are more anxious by nature and no matter how many stressors you eliminate there will always be something causing you anxiety. I'm not saying that's the case for you (although it could be) or that you have to go on medication, but working through it alone can be exhausting. It's easy to say don't be embarrassed, but really you shouldn't, because you're not alone. I hope things get better!

kelbel527 · August 2014

BillyMollyEmmy said:

I have one today:

When someone says something is "meant to be" or "God has a plan" or "everything happens for a reason" I want to punch them in the fucking head.

I say this about things that happen in my life. But I think it's totally condescending to say it to someone else. It belittles how they're feeling.

Last week when we saw the land that we originally wanted to build on, and how close they built a playground, I looked at my husband and said, see! things happen for a reason! If someone told me that 2 months ago when we lost that lot? I would have punched them.

tinyhumantoe · August 2014

I sent out bday invites and forgot to include THE DATE. Idiot.

Pokedot · August 2014

I was invited to a baby shower via FB. I never talk to this girl yet was invited to her wedding, bridal shower (which I couldn't attend but sent a gift) and now her baby shower. I invited her to my baby shower simply because I felt awkward not. Now I'm invited to hers. She's never once sent a gift for anything she's been invited too yet she's gotten 2 out of me in the last 2 years. Umm...no I'm not going nor sending a gift. If you can't invite me with a real invite, sorry. Is this a UO? I hope not. I kind of pissed about this.

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