Overnight Guests Post Hospital

Shellysliv · August 2014

I have no support system where I live, my in-laws super unsupportive so I am looking forward to my mom and sister coming after the baby is born and spending 1-2 week with me, making sure I have everything I need, cooking, cleaning and overall assisting. Then a month from that my best friends will be spend Thanksgiving to do the same assist, cook, clean, provide hubby and I with a break. I think that if the intention is to help then I am all for the assistance, however, to come to my home and be "guests" then I have an issue, especially right after birth.

Emerald27 · August 2014

My MIL is coming to visit for about a week two weeks after my due date ( she has to buy plane tickets in advance, and it will be better for her to come when he's a few days old than to use up any leave time staring at me waiting until I deliver...he can't be more than 11 days late). We will host her at our house, and I'm hoping she will be able to help a lot with DS1.

My mom lives just 4 hours away and will visit after my MIL. She comes up pretty often and so doesn't mind waiting. It's easier on me to have to manage just one guest at a time.

pinkshades05 · August 2014

My mom will be staying and helping the week Baby #2 is born. She was super helpful last time--she's a lactation consultant, she gave us space, cooked, cleaned, and I didn't really have to lift a finger!

But when my MIL came, it was the opposite. She came when DD was 6 weeks, decided to make this her vacation and wanted to go places ALL the time. DD was fussy and going through growth spurts or something (I just remember she wanted to nurse ALL day long) and the two were incompatible. She cooked sometimes, but for the most part DH had to do all the work. Instead of helping, MIL sat on her computer and SIL used our TV to play x-box. DH was trying to catch up on work and guess who was left with the rest of the responsibilities? Me.

SO, it really depends on who is coming and what their purpose is. If they are coming to HELP--laundry, cleaning, and cooking--invite them to stay forever (as long as they follow through). If they are coming to VISIT--limit it!! This is NOT the time you want them vacationing at your house!

Saragoeswest · August 2014

This will be quite a change for us since we always host our guests in our own home. We even used to host couch surfers. But we turned the guest room into the nursery and our air mattress just quit. My parents, siblings, and in-laws will be coming in from out of state. I have told them all that we are not hosting overnight guests and they should find a hotel. I would let my mom stay, but she'll probably have my teenage sister with her. And murder is not on my list of things I'd love to do in LO's first week of life. We'll eventually get a sleeper sofa for the office and loosen up.

PC0909 · August 2014

No way. If someone insisted on coming from out of town and couldn't afford a hotel I'd tell them to pack their tent. I spent the first month at least topless trying to figure out how to feed my kid. It would be too stressful having visitors overnight. Not to mention the fact that nobody in this house got more than 2 hours of sleep the first 2 weeks...

ADH0906 · August 2014

Kirby513 said:

ADH0906 said:

We have no in-state family, so this was really tricky to figure out. I have a lot of anxiety about having guests there when I'm discharged, but my mom threw a total fit when I suggested they come up a week after we go home. She literally has a hospital bag packed. We're compromising and letting them stay while I'm in the hospital but asking them to get a hotel for the first two nights that we're home. They can come after that and stay.

The ILs are staying at the same time. Heaven help us.

This is almost exactly me. I still have to talk to my mom about staying at a hotel for 2 or so nights after the hospital and I know she will throw a fit. Both H and I would like to have some space during the nights to figure stuff out as a family, but it is not going to go over well. I also have to put my foot down about how long my mom can stay and the fact that there is simply not room for my 3 siblings to come at the same time.

I'm already stressed about it.

@Kirby513‌ Hope that conversation with your mom goes okay! My mom spent almost every initial conversation rebutting everything I said with: "So do you just not want me to come?!" It was hard to get past and I think there are still some hurt feelings, but your comfort matters more than hers. I'll add you to our prayer list

ADH0906 · August 2014

@Kirby513‌ Ah, sorry love. I wish I didn't know how you feel. I think my mom cares more about how her telling of the experience will match her friends' at work...she's crushed about not being in the delivery room bc all of them got to with their daughters, not because she has any desire to be there for me. I hope your mom goes easy on you. Mothers, honestly!

Sotho girl · August 2014

My mom who lives back home overseas will be coming for 3 months.
So glad about it because she's going to be so much help around here. DH and are really looking forward to her being here.
My in laws will be coming for a couple of days from out of state too.

LightBright515 · August 2014

Nope! See you at Thanksgiving dinner!

makaelashook2 · August 2014

I'm not even having overnight visitors right now. My H and I live in a one bedroom apt so there's no room. We have a couch but I sleep with no bra... Iclike to walk around in the comfort of my own home. Plus.. I'm up all hours of the night, ... so nope.

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