What Would You Do - Out Of State Invite

EmeraldCity84 · August 2014

A few years ago, I was invited to a wedding of a friend (someone I knew through work, who had moved out of state. Not super close.) I couldn't go, re: they lived out of state. I didn't send a gift. Maybe I should have. Not my question. 6 months ago, I had a baby. The couple knew about it, asked for my address, and sent me a nice congratulations card. I thanked them for the sentiment. They are now pregnant, and last week I received an invite to the shower...out of state, with a request for a pack of diapers and a book. So, they are JUST asking me for a gift, right? There's no feasible way for me to attend this shower, especially with a 6 month old. So this is just a straight up gift request, I think? Should I just send a congrats card as they did to me? Are they pissed I didn't send a wedding gift 4 years ago? Ugh. Confused.

VOR · August 2014

Yes, it's a gift grab. And all I would do is send a card saying "congrats". That's it. No gift.

And while I normally send gifts for weddings even if I can't attend - there is absolutely NO obligation for you to do so. you did nothing wrong on that front.

mermaid1113 · August 2014

Agree with PP. I would just send a nice card as well.

sschwege · August 2014

Don't send a gift, don't spend another second thinking about it, done!

mommy5point0 · August 2014

Am I the only one who thinks they sent a card so they could keep the lines of communication open so they could invite her to their shower later? I'm assuming she was barely pregnant when you had your baby, what was it, 6 months ago?

My brother, god I love him, was born mid August. Right about the end of July EVERY year I would get a card from him saying hey I love you and I'm thinking about you, as did the rest of the siblings.

Samiantha101 · August 2014

I don't think anybody can say for sure they only sent you an invitation for a gift, however if you don't want to send one, don't send one. Are you upset that they only sent you a card?

EmeraldCity84 · August 2014

mommy5point0 yeah I sort of thought that as well.

Samiantha101 no, opposite. I love that they thought to send me a card, because we aren't that close and they live out of state. I just think it's weird to get an invite to a shower I could not possibly attend and am not that close with...

Whatevs. I'm sending a card and something under $10.

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