Just had a good cry...

discohiker · August 2014

For the record, I know the signs of PPD.
Tonight I am laying in bed, having finally gotten our son to sleep somewhere other than ON me, and I suddenly am overcome with sadness/guilt/grief. My milk is coming in and my cramps are increasing, so I know I am a hormonal mess. I am laying there wondering what I am feeling this about and thought it might help to just type it out.
I believe that there is a part of me that is still upset that I didn't have the birth experience I had hoped for (VBAC). I also think I feel unnecessary guilt because our child is so small and has a few "defects", which I know that I had nothing to do with other than contributing DNA. There is also this odd guilt/sadness about my son no longer being my only child and how it makes me feel to not be able to pick him up because of the c-section right now. I also think that I am dealing with the real possibility that I will never have a daughter, unless my husband changes his mind about having another child.... which is also somewhat sad because I am realizing that I LIKE having babies

I really need to get over this stuff..... and move on and keep loving on this little peanut and enjoying and adjusting to our new reality. I think it is ok to just have a good cry now and then and not have to explain yourself. If anyone else is feeling a bit down and isn't on baby cloud 9, I want you to know it is ok and you aren't the only ones. Definitely seek help if you find it hard to get past those feelings though.
I appreciate the anonymity of this forum, as this isn't really something that I would want to share with my family and friends right now, and if it continues I will definitely share with the doctor.

tamarar5 · August 2014

Aww, I'm sorry you're having a rough hormonal night! I'll never forget the nights is be up breastfeeding and exhausted, bawling my eyes out while DH slept, blissfully unaware how close I'd come to homicidal rage.

You are not alone, Mama! We all hit that point.

MC03 · August 2014

Doesn't it feel good to just get it out? Hope you start feeling better soon. You are not alone. PP hormones are a bitch even without all of the additional baggage of adjustment. Hang in there.

Shiva14 · August 2014

I've been there too! The first week PP was awful, I was constantly crying over any little thing and I just felt so sad (even though I was happy baby had arrived!). Hang in there, they say those hormones usually last less than 2 weeks but man, while they are there it is hard to function. Hope you feel better soon! And about your little peanut's finger, that runs in my family too. It is just more to love

kaitm22 · August 2014

I hope you start to feel better soon and I am glad you could get it out here. The baby blues haven't hit me yet, but I definitely wont be surprised if/when they come. To use one of my mother's favorites, go to sleep tonight and tomorrow when you wake up it will be a better day.

Daisylola11 · August 2014

I hope you feel better soon! It was a relief to see this post as I've had a rough couple days too, emotional and can't quite pinpoint exactly what it is. Getting overwhelmed easier and had a good cry yesterday after BIL visited w his family and their terror of a 3 year old just pushed me over the edge.
Just have to remember to take it a day at a time

Laura5533 · August 2014

Hugs and know that you're not alone. The hormones are crazy and sometimes all I can do is sob while my husband looks on helplessly. Sorry for all you're feeling, and know that you're in good company.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

alphaxi614 · August 2014

Let it out mama you are not alone! I had a total meltdown today because H let me sleep until 6am instead of waking me up to take care of the baby. Made no sense but in my mind it made me a bad mom that I hadn't been up all night with my son. You are in good company, I can't wait for the hormones to even out!

Edited because I can't type

marathonmommy82 · August 2014

Another one here with a meltdown(s)

I kept crying to MH that I felt so badly for DS .. even though he's totally fine.

Hang in there. It does get better but in the meantime it sucks. Also sleep deprivation will totally ef you up

kamedio · August 2014

You aren't alone at all! I've cried almost every day this week over the fact that my son is no longer an only child. There's no rhyme or reason to be upset about it other than pp hormones. It will get better mama!!

Venus04 · August 2014

I'm so sorry you're feeling down, but you have a perfect right too. It's natural. If it helps, I had a long ugly cry in the shower yesterday because I imagined this baby being out (naturally and med-free) over a week ago, and now I'm facing induction in nine days. That along with being on crutches is killing my spirit. But alas, we'll bounce back. Such is life.

luvbooks81 · August 2014

Thank you for the post. It helps to not feel so alone. It has been a week since my csection and I keep finding myself in tears. Still trying to come to grips that my delivery did not go at all as planned and adjusting to how hard my recovery has been. I am hoping it is mainly hormonal but just in case it is bigger than that , I have an appointment with a doctor on Wednesday.

discohiker · August 2014

You know.... we women are pretty hard on ourselves, aren't we? Are these expectations ones I placed on myself, that my family placed on me, or society's expectations?

Thanks for affirming that I am not alone, and that we all have to remember that it is going to be alright.

Want a personalized experience?

Just had a good cry...

Re: Just had a good cry...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards