You know you're in late pregnancy when....

basketballbelly · August 2014

Hey everyone!

I thought it would be nice to cheer us all up and have a momentary distraction from waiting for our LOs to arrive!

Let's share all the funny things that we are all going through at the moment. I'll start:

You know you're in late pregnancy when....

- you put your bag down on the table instead of the floor because you know you won't be able to pick it back up again if it's all the way down on the floor

- you need to factor in an additional 15 mins in the morning to put your pants and shoes on

- you haven't seen your private parts for months

Any more?

mikrinikki · August 2014

- People assume when you call them that you are in labor.

- Lying on the couch all day is a totally acceptable use of time.

- You have to plan out how much time you will actually be on your feet to minimize swelling....

lynds002 · August 2014

- Your last five google searches have involved what is/is not a symptom of early labor.

- Your freezer is stuffed with easy to reheat meals.

- You wander the baby aisle at the grocery just to make sure there's nothing you've missed.

- The "good!" you gave in response to "how are you feeling?" second semester has changed to, "ok" or "hanging in there."

kareik01 · August 2014

- Even your husband doesn't comment on the sounds and smells coming from your body

shaylagirl · August 2014

The underboob sweat stinks in a milky-sort of way.

You're moist in places you've NEVER been moist before (I'm blaming the pads for locking in moisture in those fat folds of my inner thighs). And THAT moisture also stinks.

You can't move or roll over without it having it's own personal soundtrack (usually lots of moans or groans).

It's panic inducing if you've forgotten your TUMS at home and you're at work.

You're to the point where you just want to stop being good and have that damn margarita (or mixed drink of choice) because it looks SOOOOOO good!!

You can't remember what sex is like.

kareik01 · August 2014

shaylagirl said:

The underboob sweat stinks in a milky-sort of way.

You're moist in places you've NEVER been moist before (I'm blaming the pads for locking in moisture in those fat folds of my inner thighs). And THAT moisture also stinks.

You can't move or roll over without it having it's own personal soundtrack (usually lots of moans or groans).

It's panic inducing if you've forgotten your TUMS at home and you're at work.

You're to the point where you just want to stop being good and have that damn margarita (or mixed drink of choice) because it looks SOOOOOO good!!

You can't remember what sex is like.

This is me this morning and I wanted to cry when I realized it

tamarar5 · August 2014

When your shirt and pants no longer meet in the middle, and you're not entirely sure you care.

Edit: mobile hates homophones.

kashock-2 · August 2014

This.

Allison7 · August 2014

- You can't remember the last time you slept through the night despite the fact that you don't have a baby yet.

- Tums are your snack of choice.

- After years of infertility you have stopped trying to "enjoy" pregnancy and moved to the "lets get this show on the road" attitude.

- You have a mental debate about getting up to pee. Sure, you have that urge and it would relieve it, but launching myself out of this chair, bed, or couch would require so much effort. For the first time in my life, a bedpan or a catheter actually sounds like a good idea.

herecomesthesun · August 2014

tamarar5 said:

When your shirt and pants no longer meet in the middle, and you're not entirely sure you care. Edit: mobile hates homophones.

I'm impressed your are still wearing pants. Pants are so very uncomfortable.

I've started letting people pick things up from the floor for me.

When people ask if I'm ready, I say "Yes."

People at work are surprised to see my car in my usual spot in the parking lot.

shaylagirl · August 2014

Allison7 said:

- You have a mental debate about getting up to pee. Sure, you have that urge and it would relieve it, but launching myself out of this chair, bed, or couch would require so much effort. For the first time in my life, a bedpan or a catheter actually sounds like a good idea.

Or, when you're getting up, it makes that urge to pee even WORSE, so that you're hunched over, waddling, trying NOT to piss yourself because that urge is SO bad, and to compound matters, baby picks THAT moment to take a pot-shot to your bladder (and also potentially your rectum, because, HEY that's a BLAST you brat!), so you double over in pain and just keep on waddling.

Bonus points when this conundrum happens at work! TRIPLE those bonus points when it happens when a co-worker comes over to talk about something work related that's time-sensitive.

Yeah. LOVING this.

Venus04 · August 2014

shaylagirl said:

Allison7 said:

- You have a mental debate about getting up to pee. Sure, you have that urge and it would relieve it, but launching myself out of this chair, bed, or couch would require so much effort. For the first time in my life, a bedpan or a catheter actually sounds like a good idea.

Or, when you're getting up, it makes that urge to pee even WORSE, so that you're hunched over, waddling, trying NOT to piss yourself because that urge is SO bad, and to compound matters, baby picks THAT moment to take a pot-shot to your bladder (and also potentially your rectum, because, HEY that's a BLAST you brat!), so you double over in pain and just keep on waddling.

OMG, this. But add crutches to the scenario for me. So even when I finally decide to get up, I get to hobble / crutch to the bathroom in the dark, and feel baby pressing down on my bladder because, hey, that helps, and cuss the entire way because F My Life.

PS - Ankle is getting better, and I know one day this will make me laugh really hard.

BabyM82714 · August 2014

When you feel like every week you have this super awesome date scheduled...except its with your doctor...whose going to violate you...and then tell you that you weigh more...and are still pregnant. And they don't even feed you. Worst date to be excited for ever!!!!

herecomesthesun · August 2014

BabyM82714 said:

When you feel like every week you have this super awesome date scheduled...except its with your doctor...whose going to violate you...and then tell you that you weigh more...and are still pregnant. And they don't even feed you. Worst date to be excited for ever!!!!

Very accurate.

tamarar5 · August 2014

BabyM82714 said:
When you feel like every week you have this super awesome date scheduled...except its with your doctor...whose going to violate you...and then tell you that you weigh more...and are still pregnant. And they don't even feed you. Worst date to be excited for ever!!!!

This is both scarily accurate but still hysterical.

basketballbelly · August 2014

- you are REALLY tired of people saying 'oh well, she'll come when she's ready'

Jentech84 · August 2014

When you stop telling family & friends how you ACTUALLY feel when they ask how you are because anything other than "doing well!" makes everyone assume you've gone into labour.

Jennicillin · August 2014

Your husband sleeps on the couch because between pillow mountain, snoring, and the number of times you have to roll your ass out of bed to pee at night, it's just easier for everyone.

Complete strangers tell you to have sex to make you go into labor

Store workers get a panicked look on their face when you say you're due "any day now" like they think the only way to have a baby is for my water to break in aisle 9.... THEIR AISLE 9... and please don't make them clean that up (just go home and have sex!)

Every time you look tired someone is going to say you're about to go into labor, someone else is going to say that you haven't gotten your burst of energy yet and still have a ways to go.

The thought of one more can of pineapple juice, one more cup of raspberry leaf tea, another 3 hour walk around the same mall, and sex all make you want to cry, but you do it anyway because you have to feel like you're doing something to get this parasite out of your body!!!

kcm3 · August 2014

When the texts checking in on you are not welcomed.

KittyMisha · August 2014

When taking a trip to Target with a toddler uses up all the energy you have available for the entire day.

poofwok · August 2014

When you get over excited that you might be getting contractions but then realize they are not getting stronger or more frequent or more painful and you get disappointed that your body is not becoming more miserable then it already is.

Allison7 · August 2014

When you are thinking about timing the frequency of the cramps that are telling you to go take a poop.

herecomesthesun · August 2014

When cooking up batches of food to freeze means getting all of that food all over the bump because you can't possibly stand closer to the stove or counter top.

tamarar5 · August 2014

herecomesthesun said:
When cooking up batches of food to freeze means getting all of that food all over the bump because you can't possibly stand closer to the stove or counter top.

Or wearing at least half the ingredients because you're so close to the counter/burners.

Lena76 · August 2014

When you're showering/bathing three times a day because hot water is the only thing that helps your aching back!

BabyM82714 · August 2014

Lena76 said:

When you're showering/bathing three times a day because hot water is the only thing that helps your aching back!

Yup! I'm so thankful our water bill is the same every month no matter what, because lets be honest, it would reflect a family of 12 instead of 2. I've very much enjoyed taking a hot shower to calm my nerves, help me relax, and make my muscles feel better.

Allison7 · August 2014

Lena76 said:

When you're showering/bathing three times a day because hot water is the only thing that helps your aching back!

Try the Boppy Pregnancy Bolster Pillow. It is a round bolster pillow for your back, neck, or wherever and it has a pocket for a therapearl pack. I like ice, but the therapearl packs can be heated as well. I got it off of amazon. It is made for pregnancy, but seriously, I think it will be very useful for other applications as well.

herecomesthesun · August 2014

tamarar5 said:

When cooking up batches of food to freeze means getting all of that food all over the bump because you can't possibly stand closer to the stove or counter top.
Or wearing at least half the ingredients because you're so close to the counter/burners.

Yup. I had flour and noodles and a few splashes of something going on. Fun times in the laundry room too!

Lena76 · August 2014

herecomesthesun said:
When cooking up batches of food to freeze means getting all of that food all over the bump because you can't possibly stand closer to the stove or counter top.

Or when you've eaten all the freezer meals you prepared because you're too tired to cook!

tamarar5 · August 2014

herecomesthesun said:

tamarar5 said:

herecomesthesun said:
When cooking up batches of food to freeze means getting all of that food all over the bump because you can't possibly stand closer to the stove or counter top.
Or wearing at least half the ingredients because you're so close to the counter/burners.

Yup. I had flour and noodles and a few splashes of something going on. Fun times in the laundry room too!

Of lord, I can't count the number of times the belly has turned off the washer as I attempt to start the dryer. Electronic controls at belly height were clearly created by a man...

Venus04 · August 2014

You know you're near the end when the thing you're most excited about, the thing you pray and hope and beg for...is the worst pain you'll probably ever experience in your life.

Pregnancy sucks all the sucks.

basketballbelly · August 2014

- You've cleared your calendar because you thought you'd have a baby by now, so now you're just sitting around waiting

camichalski · August 2014

-You pee a little and don't change right away.
-you have no more doctor appointments left!!!!!

tamarar5 · August 2014

camichalski said:
-
-you have no more doctor appointments left!!!!!

Or you cry because you have to schedule more appointments because baby STILL hasn't shown up.

This will be me tomorrow. I'm going out to my mom's after my appointment tomorrow just so I can cry in peace while she watches my other kids.

herecomesthesun · August 2014

tamarar5 said:

- -you have no more doctor appointments left!!!!!
Or you cry because you have to schedule more appointments because baby STILL hasn't shown up. This will be me tomorrow.

I'm scheduled into September just in case.... I really hope I don't need those.

oursong611 · August 2014

- You're willing to drive more than half an hour to swim daily to relieve the pressure on your aching hips.

- You find yourself at the grocery store three or more times a week, aimlessly wandering aisles because you forgot something yesterday, and you can't remember what it was because you forgot your list at home today.

-You hope against hope that all the aimless wandering will help induce labor, maybe even early.

- You find your toddler's nail clippers in the freezer after searching everywhere for them.

- You have to fight the urge to slap all of the well meaning people who say things like, "Any day now!" or "You're still pregnant?!" every time they see you.

- You find yourself crying over the silliest things one minute, and laughing about them the next.

- All you want to eat is junk food because you feel like you owe it to yourself after all of the months of healthy eating.

- Your ac is never set for higher than 68 degrees and you're still hot.

shaylagirl · August 2014

camichalski said:

-you have no more doctor appointments left!!!!!

Oh EM-EFF!! I didn't even THINK to do that! I have -one- appointment scheduled for after my EDD, but that's IT. Course, doc PROMISED me at my last appointment if I make it to my EDD, on THAT date, we can discuss induction. I've already selected the date I want to use.

But still...omg. I would weep if I needed more than 1 after my EDD.

noellems · August 2014

When everyone looks at you with pity and asks if you're having that baby soon.

tamarar5 · August 2014

noellems said:
When everyone looks at you with pity and asks if you're having that baby soon.

Nope, never, has become my standard reply, right before the miserable scowl and walk away.

KittyMisha · August 2014

You have to take your pants and panties off every time you go pee because it's impossible to sit on the toilet with your legs so close together.

basketballbelly · August 2014

You're getting REALLY TIRED of people calling/messaging all the time just to check up on you, even though you know they are coming from a good place.

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