Husband vent before I straight up murder him Update

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

So my husband has had tingling and numbness in the whole left side of his body since last night. He called the doctor today and they said (obviously) that he needs to go to the emergency room sooner rather than later because he could be having mini strokes. What does my husband say? "Oh I think I am feeling much better. I am going to finish out my work shift and then see if I want to go to the hospital." WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. He then has the audacity to ask me what I think the hospital is going to say. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE I AM NOT A DOCTOR. Which is why he needs to get his ass there. I am tossing around the idea of literally driving to his work and carrying him out like an infant. <-- I won't actually do that but I would get a sick satisfaction out of his reaction if I did.

I need some of your biggest husband idiot moments so that I can feel better about the absolute moron that I am in love with.

UPDATE: Well after 7 hours at the ER and every damn test you could imagine they determined it wasn't a stroke, MS, or a brain tumor. He felt terrible that we were there so long and I told him that I would literally wait in that room 10 times over to find out the same good news. Next step is to check out his spine to see if that is the cause of the numbness and tingling. Those tests do not have to be done in the ER and we were sent home thank the lord.

I want to thank you ladies for the laughs, positive thoughts and prayers. I seriously could not have gotten through those 7 hours without reading all of the humor you brought to this thread. You all are some truly wonderful people.

theholmanherd · August 2014

My husband got hit by a car on his bike and STILL didn't go to the ER. Luckily, nothing was broken, but his shoulder was fucked up for weeks. Oy, DH, why???

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

theholmanherd said:

My husband got hit by a car on his bike and STILL didn't go to the ER. Luckily, nothing was broken, but his shoulder was fucked up for weeks. Oy, DH, why???

See? I just don't understand that thought process. I am a stubborn bitch and I try to avoid the doctor at all cost but when the doc is telling you that you need to go asap because you are quite possibly having mini strokes I don't see that as shit to mess around with.

Aldermanbaby · August 2014

@VeganOnTuesdays‌ ughhhh I feel for you men can be such idiots! Haha I would drive to his work and pick him up! Hopefully everything is okay with him !

bobloblaw87 · August 2014

My husband potentially has sleep apnea (it could be something else but not sure) but in our entire 5 year relationship he has never once done the proper testing to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. As a result, he NEVER gets a good night's sleep, falls asleep everywhere, is always tired, and always sick. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

callybekk said:

My husband potentially has sleep apnea (it could be something else but not sure) but in our entire 5 year relationship he has never once done the proper testing to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. As a result, he NEVER gets a good night's sleep, falls asleep everywhere, is always tired, and always sick. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

Does he then complain about how tired he is? Because that would result in a karate chop to the throat. haha

briannaescplan · August 2014

H refuses to put bactrin or band aids on his open wounds from work. I.E., got cut with a razor, had a nail go into his arm, bit by a cat, etc. So. They get infected and he complains about how much they hurt. I have to sneak attack him to put ointment on. It fixes it every time, but the next boo-boo he gets, i still have to beg him to use it.

bobloblaw87 · August 2014

VeganOnTuesdays said:

callybekk said:

My husband potentially has sleep apnea (it could be something else but not sure) but in our entire 5 year relationship he has never once done the proper testing to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. As a result, he NEVER gets a good night's sleep, falls asleep everywhere, is always tired, and always sick. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

Does he then complain about how tired he is? Because that would result in a karate chop to the throat. haha

Oh my gosh, every day I'm like "how'd you sleep?" "not great." (eye roll) and then later in the day, "how are you?" "tired" and I'm like, it doesn't have to be that way!!

delujm0 · August 2014

My husband will never, ever, ever go to the doctor or dentist if he feels sick or has a toothache, until it is absolutely dibilitating. However, if i so much as sneeze, he's all GO TO THE DOCTOR RIGHT NOW WHAT IF YOU GET ME SICK??????? And then if i tell him it's my allergies or a cold, and he starts sniffling the next day, i get blamed for his entire "illness."

i've just started ignoring him if he's been complaining of symptoms for more than 3 days, because chances are that i told him to get it checked out on Day 1, so obviously he's not looking for advice. He's looking to be babied, and his mom lives in PA, so that's not happening here. ain't nobody got time for that. go to the damn doctor.

StikierIten · August 2014

callybekk said:

VeganOnTuesdays said:

callybekk said:

My husband potentially has sleep apnea (it could be something else but not sure) but in our entire 5 year relationship he has never once done the proper testing to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. As a result, he NEVER gets a good night's sleep, falls asleep everywhere, is always tired, and always sick. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

Does he then complain about how tired he is? Because that would result in a karate chop to the throat. haha

Oh my gosh, every day I'm like "how'd you sleep?" "not great." (eye roll) and then later in the day, "how are you?" "tired" and I'm like, it doesn't have to be that way!!

My DH is a sleepwalker, and has night terrors. I also happen to be a terrible sleeper and wake up for EVERYTHING. So he will be all mopey the next day and complain about how tired he is because his legs were moving all night long, I respond "well that might be because you ran a fucking marathon in your sleep again..."

Then I want to go throat punch Thursday on him because when he's wandering around the house, I am preventing him from oh, say, walking outside in his boxers when it's 10 degrees (but he remembered shoes!). And when I slam the door and tell him to go back to be he has the audacity to say "God you're aggravating!!!" (yup, that blank stare with a blink you just made reading that? it's exactly what I do). It's funny for story telling, because he's usually so meek and quiet, but what a sass when he's sleepwalking.

But I agree, men are chronically terrible about going to the doctor for anything, but complaining about the smallest pain.

kdecker2009 · August 2014

DH gets huge cysts in his earlobe. He prefers to pop them himself. Then they get worse and his entire ear is purple. He flat refuses to go to the doctor. If he would just go, maybe they could tell him WHY he gets the cysts and the proper way to care for it.

GR8TDANEMOM · August 2014

My dad was having the same symptoms and had a clot in his heart that was breaking apart causing mini strokes. He should really go in

Ladymouse · August 2014

My DH is the one who has to push me to go in. But sudden numbness and tingling to that extent? No. You get that checked.

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

GR8TDANEMOM said:
My dad was having the same symptoms and had a clot in his heart that was breaking apart causing mini strokes. He should really go in

Fuck man. I hope your dad is ok!

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

PenguinMG said:
My husband had a head on collision with someone while playing flag football (seriously?!!!) and busted his eye open so bad that he couldn't see. He texted me while I was at work and said something like "I think I might go to the ER after the game, don't worry though." Nothing else. And then wouldn't answer my calls.

Luckily, a friend of ours insisted that she drive him to the hospital immediately. He needed 24 stitches.

Haha were they a little confused on how flag football works?

What a punk though for not answering your calls!

SpartanChick88 · August 2014

BriannaMarie516 said:
H refuses to put bactrin or band aids on his open wounds from work. I.E., got cut with a razor, had a nail go into his arm, bit by a cat, etc. So. They get infected and he complains about how much they hurt. I have to sneak attack him to put ointment on. It fixes it every time, but the next boo-boo he gets, i still have to beg him to use it.

-------
WTH does he do that razor blades, nails and cat bites all come into the equation??

I use candy to bribe DD to let me put stuff on her boo boos... maybe try beer? Or top less - that might distract him long enough to get a band aid on

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

Joy2611 said:
Out of curiosity - are you only a vegan on Tuesday?

@VeganOnTuesdays

Haha I am a vegetarian but my friend does vegan Mondays and I always joke that I am going to do vegan Tuesdays. I've done it for a week but man it's hard. I love my cheese.

BillyHorrible · August 2014

My husband is seriously allergic to cats. Like throat closing up, eyes swelling, allergic. Problem is, he loves cats. Anytime we're anywhere with a cat he's all:

While I try to keep them from him so he doesn't die.

briannaescplan · August 2014

SpartanChick88 said:

H refuses to put bactrin or band aids on his open wounds from work. I.E., got cut with a razor, had a nail go into his arm, bit by a cat, etc. So. They get infected and he complains about how much they hurt. I have to sneak attack him to put ointment on. It fixes it every time, but the next boo-boo he gets, i still have to beg him to use it.
------- WTH does he do that razor blades, nails and cat bites all come into the equation?? I use candy to bribe DD to let me put stuff on her boo boos... maybe try beer? Or top less - that might distract him long enough to get a band aid on

hahaha @SpartanChick88 -- he cut himself with a razor when he was painting. He was on a ladder and a rope got stuck around his arm. So it was either the rope taking his arm...or him cutting it off. The nail because he now installs granite and got smushed against a wall where a nail was exposed. The cat bite...bc he tried to give my cat a bath and bit him (well deserved)

Unknown · August 2014

This content has been removed.

catmagick · August 2014

MH refuses to ever listen to me or admit that I am right about anything. He has IBS but refuses to listen to me or believe me that that's what he has. I told him it always gets worse when he is under a lot of stress. Nope. So he finally went to a doctor. IBS exacerbated by stress. 8-| Okay.......and he STILL tries to tell me that's not what I told him. Riiiight.

Melissabride09 · August 2014

While I genuinely empathize with how frustrating it can be when a loved one doesn't seek medical attention, I can't get over the title of this thread. It's disgusting even in jest. Can you imagine the backlash if a man wrote anything in reference to "straight up murdering" his wife?

HippoTooth · August 2014

SpartanChick88 said:

H refuses to put bactrin or band aids on his open wounds from work. I.E., got cut with a razor, had a nail go into his arm, bit by a cat, etc. So. They get infected and he complains about how much they hurt. I have to sneak attack him to put ointment on. It fixes it every time, but the next boo-boo he gets, i still have to beg him to use it.
------- WTH does he do that razor blades, nails and cat bites all come into the equation?? I use candy to bribe DD to let me put stuff on her boo boos... maybe try beer? Or top less - that might distract him long enough to get a band aid on

My thoughts as well.

briannaescplan · August 2014

HippoTooth said:

SpartanChick88 said:

H refuses to put bactrin or band aids on his open wounds from work. I.E., got cut with a razor, had a nail go into his arm, bit by a cat, etc. So. They get infected and he complains about how much they hurt. I have to sneak attack him to put ointment on. It fixes it every time, but the next boo-boo he gets, i still have to beg him to use it.
------- WTH does he do that razor blades, nails and cat bites all come into the equation?? I use candy to bribe DD to let me put stuff on her boo boos... maybe try beer? Or top less - that might distract him long enough to get a band aid on

My thoughts as well.

clarification -- seperate times - H is a contractor

theholmanherd · August 2014

BriannaMarie516 said:

HippoTooth said:

SpartanChick88 said:

H refuses to put bactrin or band aids on his open wounds from work. I.E., got cut with a razor, had a nail go into his arm, bit by a cat, etc. So. They get infected and he complains about how much they hurt. I have to sneak attack him to put ointment on. It fixes it every time, but the next boo-boo he gets, i still have to beg him to use it.
------- WTH does he do that razor blades, nails and cat bites all come into the equation?? I use candy to bribe DD to let me put stuff on her boo boos... maybe try beer? Or top less - that might distract him long enough to get a band aid on

My thoughts as well.

clarification -- seperate times - H is a contractor

My H also. Drives me BSC that he never takes care of his wounds. Although, he doesn't usually resist to me treating his wounds when he gets home...he just won't do it himself. Oy.

HippoTooth · August 2014

Melissabride09 said:

While I genuinely empathize with how frustrating it can be when a loved one doesn't seek medical attention, I can't get over the title of this thread. It's disgusting even in jest. Can you imagine the backlash if a man wrote anything in reference to "straight up murdering" his wife?

crazychickenlady · August 2014

The first day I met DH in person, he had been out riding his bike with the guys in the morning before we met for coffee - they like to be crazy and go as fast as they can over jumps and stuff. On this particular day, he took the jump wrong, crashed his bike and smashed his face. Literally landed ON HIS FACE. He went unconscious, broke his bike in half, and his full face helmet smashed into pieces. There is a video of it that still makes me shutter to this day.

He had a concussion and his face was swollen and cut and black and blue almost instantaneously. He texted me "so when I see you later, imagine my face less swollen and beat up, I look better than this normally, I promise" - I tried to tell him that he probably should go to the doctor and we could do coffee another time. He INSISTED that we keep our date and he never went to the doctor.

I knew in that moment that the whole going to the doctor thing was going to be like pulling teeth with him.

Melissabride09 · August 2014

HippoTooth said:

Melissabride09 said:

While I genuinely empathize with how frustrating it can be when a loved one doesn't seek medical attention, I can't get over the title of this thread. It's disgusting even in jest. Can you imagine the backlash if a man wrote anything in reference to "straight up murdering" his wife?

Yep, actually serious. I fully understand she's not going to murder her husband, but I think it's still gross.

3houlagirl · August 2014

My DH was in the military and had some pretty intense triage training. Consequently, he would rather doctor himself than go consult a professional.

Insanely infected ingrown toenail? No worries, I'll lance that bitch myself!

Slice my finger at work? It's cool, I'll raid the medical supplies and stitch it up in the breakroom!

Weird looking wart that won't go away? Hey, we've got some compressed air in the office, I'll freeze it off!

What's even worse is that this shit WORKS and now I've started letting him do it to me, because I hate doctors. A lot. Except my OBGYN because she is awesome.

beepity · August 2014

3houlagirl said:

My DH was in the military and had some pretty intense triage training. Consequently, he would rather doctor himself than go consult a professional. Insanely infected ingrown toenail? No worries, I'll lance that bitch myself! Slice my finger at work? It's cool, I'll raid the medical supplies and stitch it up in the breakroom! Weird looking wart that won't go away? Hey, we've got some compressed air in the office, I'll freeze it off! What's even worse is that this shit WORKS and now I've started letting him do it to me, because I hate doctors. A lot. Except my OBGYN because she is awesome.

Mine too... at least yours sounds like he retained useful things.
MH has a trunk full of "useless" medical equipment (like to do an emergent tracheostomy or chest tube on someone) he refuses to get rid of.
Oh and he fell and split open his knuckles last fall so what does he do? Uses SUPER GLUE to seal it up. 3 days later it was red and infected. (Did I mention he was also on a general surgery rotation in PA school at the time with ample access to free STERILE medical supplies?!)

Also not loving the name of this thread but whatever.

hydrangea1019 · August 2014

callybekk said:
My husband potentially has sleep apnea (it could be something else but not sure) but in our entire 5 year relationship he has never once done the proper testing to get a proper diagnosis and treatment. As a result, he NEVER gets a good night's sleep, falls asleep everywhere, is always tired, and always sick. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

I haven't read the whole thread, so I apologize if someone mentioned this already. MH was diagnosed with sleep apnea, and it was one of the best things, not only for his health, but for our marriage. Honestly. We couldn't sleep in the same bed due to me being a light sleeper and his snoring and he'd fall asleep any where and any time he could.

After he was diagnosed, he started using his machine. Of course there was a learning curve, but it was so worth it.

Could YH maybe self conscious about possibly using a machine?

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

While I genuinely empathize with how frustrating it can be when a loved one doesn't seek medical attention, I can't get over the title of this thread. It's disgusting even in jest. Can you imagine the backlash if a man wrote anything in reference to "straight up murdering" his wife?

Well A: it's how I talk and B: it's the exact phrase I used to H when I spoke with him prior to posting this thread.

No need to be sensitive here. It's my sense of humor.

VeganOnTuesdays · August 2014

So he's getting a MRI, EKG, and blood work. Ruled out stroke but now looking for tumors and the possibility of MS, which his father has. Positive vibes, prayers, thoughts this way would be greatly appreciated!

HippoTooth · August 2014

VeganOnTuesdays said:

So he's getting a MRI, EKG, and blood work. Ruled out stroke but now looking for tumors and the possibility of MS, which his father has. Positive vibes, prayers, thoughts this way would be greatly appreciated!

I hope he gets some answers quickly, and that it is nothing serious!

3houlagirl · August 2014

VeganOnTuesdays said:
So he's getting a MRI, EKG, and blood work. Ruled out stroke but now looking for tumors and the possibility of MS, which his father has. Positive vibes, prayers, thoughts this way would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for the update! I was a little worried...

T&P headed your way; I hope everything's fine.

holliberry28 · August 2014

3houlagirl said:

My DH was in the military and had some pretty intense triage training. Consequently, he would rather doctor himself than go consult a professional. Insanely infected ingrown toenail? No worries, I'll lance that bitch myself! Slice my finger at work? It's cool, I'll raid the medical supplies and stitch it up in the breakroom! Weird looking wart that won't go away? Hey, we've got some compressed air in the office, I'll freeze it off! What's even worse is that this shit WORKS and now I've started letting him do it to me, because I hate doctors. A lot. Except my OBGYN because she is awesome.

I. Love. This.

holliberry28 · August 2014

@VeganOnTuesdays, sending positivity to your way! Hope it's nothing serious!

beepity · August 2014

I'm glad they were able to rule some of those things out. T&P for more good news quickly

Pintobean39 · August 2014

@VeganOnTuesdays‌ I hope it's nothing serious with your husband.

I ripped my husband a new one the other day. He has high blood pressure and I noticed he was out of med and has been since about April. The last time he got his rx filled is because I had to go postal on him. I also had to make him go to the Dr last year because he's been treating his own blood pressure issues on his own. He's a Dr so of course he knows best about his own healthcare.

What really made my blood boil was after I got pissed when I noticed he's not getting his rx filled is he told me "I don't like taking it because it makes me have to pee a lot". Oh Fuck No!!!! I LOST IT!!!! Seriously, screaming yelling, my son who was in the middle of this conversation, because he's 15 and he knows EVERYTHING, I started on him too. I'm sure the 5 weeks of lupron I've been injecting in my stomach had nothing to do with rage. Seriously I've been injecting meds in me, I'm taking so many pills every day that I had to buy the biggest pill container they make so they can fit. I'm having hot flashes, vivid dreams, headaches, I've gained 20lbs and my blood glucose is now screwed up thanks to every thing, oh yeah and I don't like anyone anymore, obviously. BUT I do it and no one has to remind me. So I don't give a fuck if he has to pee a little bit more.

menta84 · August 2014

My husband fell while we were on vacation outside of the country and nearly broke his leg, the doctor told him he had a hairline fracture and to go follow up with the clinic/doctor/ER as soon as he got back to the U.S. He never did! No matter how much I asked him to go, he wouldn't go! He was limping for weeks and never got the cast he needed to *sigh* until this day, he has to watch that leg because "it hurts when he runs too much" ughh don't know why they are like that sometimes!!

MrsDee1982 · August 2014

Many T&Ps OP.

My husband drives me batty with this kind of shit.

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