How do you...

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

How do you handle going out with your multiple babies? My girls are 3 months, and every time we end up around a group of people the little bit of routine that keeps me sane seems to disappear. Do I just need to lighten up? Or is there a way to politely explain to people the importance of keeping both babies on the same schedule? Also, how do you handle situations where people's pets are close to your LO's? Am I the only person who thinks it is completely ridiculous that people find it acceptable to let their pets get within inches of LO's faces?

Mama-Bear · August 2014

I swear I'm not trying to be a b*tch, just realistic. You either need to lighten up or not leave the house. I understand the importance of a schedule, when my LO's were smaller, we left the house around their schedule usually, that meant not being out too long. Sometimes DH would take DS1 somewhere and I would stay home with the littles because it was just easier than having cranky kids.

As far as the dog issue, IMO it depends on the dog. I personally don't see anything wrong with a dog sniffing the baby, it's a new person in the dog's home, of course he/she will want to check out the new smells. Now, if the dog is pawing, of course you can't have a dog be rough with a baby. Overall, I don't think that the dog should be shunned in his/her own home, if you don't want the pets around you or your babies, then invite people over to your house where you can control the environment.

LittleLady77 · August 2014

I need some flexibility in our schedules to stay sane. Even the book HSHHT says if you break schedule a few times a month it's no big deal. The pet thing drives me totally bonkers!

mommaoftrips · August 2014

I echo other posts - we went out when our LOs schedule permitted, with triplets this meant we stayed pretty much home until around 8 months but people were allowed to visit during their awake times as long as they didn't mind the fact that I still had to feed babies

As far as pets, we had 2 dogs and when they were really small (ie. Not mobile yet and couldn't even roll-over the dogs were 'free ranging the house' but I was always on the floor when they had tummy time and the dogs were taught not to go near. I also taught my dogs before the LOs were born that they were no long allowed in their nursery. When they got older we gated off an area for our LOs, so no pets allowed. We never went to any other houses that had pets so not sure what I would have said to my friends.

LittleLady77 · August 2014

^ your own pets are one thing but it drives me crazy when people let their dogs super close to my kids

kefttsc · August 2014

The dog issue isn't really a dog issue. It is an inconsiderate owner issue. I have four dogs, three of which LOVE kids and I can't wait to see them with our babies. No matter, they are always put away (crates or bedroom or even just baby gates upstairs) when guests come over. If someone asks for them to come out, that is one thing. But it is rude of that owner to think that every visitor in their house is going to want the dog on them.

ballygirl · August 2014

I love going out with the babies. I started taking them out at least once a day when they were about 3 months old. I keep the outings relatively short - 90 minutes tops usually. Where are you taking them out that it disrupts your schedule? Can you schedule these outings so they fit in with your schedule - ie - only take them out right when they've awoken from a nap so they are fresh, or in my case sometimes I took them out when I wanted them to sleep. My girls were terrible nappers but would always sleep in the car or the stroller, so sometimes we'd take a trip to the mall just so they'd take a nap.

As far as the dog thing goes, it depends on the dog. Are you afraid of germs or of the dog biting or harming the babies? I'm a dog lover and we have a dog, but she isn't great with kids, so we don't let her near the babies. But with other dogs that I trust I don't mind them getting close or even licking my babies. I'm not at all a germ-o-phobe so as long as I know the dog and know that he is good with infants and kids, I'm ok with supervised interactions. But most conscientious dog owners will restrain their dogs if you explain that you are not comfortable with them.

frank3jr · August 2014

Really only the people I knew with multiples understood that we wanted to feed the babies at the same time. We started developing ballpark eating times which actually helped us get out of the house because we could go in-between those times. I got a lot of eye rolls and questioning from family and friends that didn't understand why I didn't go with the flow and thought I was force feeding them but it's what worked for us. It was actually helpful when we got around a group of people and people loved helping with feeding (I pumped). But really, I knew I probably sounded mean about the schedule sometimes but DH and I always reminded each other that people without multiples are in a different category than people with.

BeesKnees181 · August 2014

Thank you everyone for your candid responses.

@LittleLady77 - Thank you...glad I am not the only one!

@frank3jr - Maybe that is it...I feel like I am pretty flexible. But we need our schedule to ensure that everyone gets enough sleep, time outside, etc.

Knowing that you all agree a schedule is the only way to get yourselves out of the house is exactly what I mean by maintaining sanity. I cannot be in the house around the clock. It is not an option for our family.

@ballygirl - It was a bbq that was supposed to be a small thing, but after we arrived we were told how many people were coming. It all took me by surprise. We ended up staying for a good 6 hours after doing a shopping trip with the twins, so...it was just a very long day out and about. Probably even too long for me! True about knowing the dog. In this particular case I knew two of the 5 dogs. And in fact, two dogs were visiting and another was staying for a short time while the owner was away. So it was a dog frenzy. And the dogs and dog owners were good about watching their dogs interact so as to squash any squabbles. But still...it was just too new of an atmosphere for the hounds, which left me feeling uneasy about trusting the dog's behavior.

ballygirl · August 2014

Woah - 6 hours plus shopping? That would be a long day for anyone. I definitely keep our social visits on the short side and if I know its going to be a long day - like at my inlaws house for a holiday or something, I bring the stroller and when nap time approaches, I stick them in the stroller and walk them around for awhile so they get some sleep. And, if that fails and the babies are really cranky, we just leave. We've left many a gathering very early to avoid cranky babies. I think we had to leave BIL's superbowl party before the game even started! We've turned down a lot of social invitations if it seems like it will be too difficult with the babies. We never go out at night with them for example (as if I had the energy for that anyway)

Maybe we offended someone by leaving early or declining their invitation, but I don't think so. Most people we've been around have made plenty of allowances for us and realize that having infant twins is difficult.

FaeryStarGazer · August 2014

Mama-Bear said:

I swear I'm not trying to be a b*tch, just realistic. You either need to lighten up or not leave the house. I understand the importance of a schedule, when my LO's were smaller, we left the house around their schedule usually, that meant not being out too long. Sometimes DH would take DS1 somewhere and I would stay home with the littles because it was just easier than having cranky kids.

As far as the dog issue, IMO it depends on the dog. I personally don't see anything wrong with a dog sniffing the baby, it's a new person in the dog's home, of course he/she will want to check out the new smells. Now, if the dog is pawing, of course you can't have a dog be rough with a baby. Overall, I don't think that the dog should be shunned in his/her own home, if you don't want the pets around you or your babies, then invite people over to your house where you can control the environment.

Yup. 100% yup.

kbeach82 · August 2014

All kids are different, but my twins are miserable if they don't get enough sleep or get thrown too far off of their schedules. We still generally plan our time out of the house around the their nap schedule even now that they are 15 months old. But I will say that I am WAY more flexible with them than I ever was with DS1.

If we want to go somewhere that isn't close to home, we generally head out around the time that they would usually take their morning nap. They usually sleep in the car on the way to wherever we are going and still get some sort of rest even if it is for a shorter time than usual. Making small allowances like that gets us out of the house while usually helping to avoid complete meltdowns.

I am probably in the minority as far as pets are concerned, but I don't trust animals. I am not an animal hater or anything like that. I love animals, especially dogs. We always had dogs growing up and we have a cat now. But to me, animals are animals. I am fine with all of the kids interacting with pets that we are familiar with when they are being closely supervised, but I don't allow any animals to put their faces in my children's faces.

Wishing35 · August 2014

I only go if I can work their schedule around it. I know some in my family think it's silly but I don't care anymore, they are not the ones that have to deal with two miserable babies when they get home. I don't miss too much though because I usually try to go to family events after they have napped and then leave early to get home for bedtime. Some people are more relaxed and don't have their kids on a schedule but for me it's important. As for pets I think no matter how gentle one is it should not be allowed in a child's face. You never know if something will scare it and they may snap at the baby out fear. I love dogs but when people are over with children if mine starts jumping on them or being too all over them I will put her outside.

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