Your ideal number...

twoandthrough · August 2014

Cheekers2010 said:

Well, I never wanted kids at all. Lol. Then when I got pregnant with DS I swore I was one and done. However, he turned out so awesome that I thought why not give it one more go. So here we are. And this is definitely it for us. I still hope we haven't made a mistake by trying to turn our happy trio into a quartet.

I could have written this word for word.

freakyfast · August 2014

I have one from a previous relationship, and with my DH we discussed having 2 more, but with infertility problems, we will probably be done with one.

irishtriplets · August 2014

This is #3 for us and that's it. This shop is closing up. I hate being pregnant. Plus, I'm 36 and pregnancy really does get tougher as you get older, at least for me it has. So, a boy and 2 girls will make this family complete.

irish2014 · August 2014

ColeyCannoli said:

nolanova85 said:

I never understood why people feel bad for only children or find them weird. Most of the onlies I know are awesome, intelligent and highly motivated. They tend to be quieter and more mature as kids (though that really depends on how spoiled they are by the parents, but that's true for all kids). I dont know any that say they were lonely, they just made long term friends outside of their families.

I'm an only, and it was the COOLEST when I was a kid. I got to do a lot of stuff that I think would be tough with a bunch of kids - vacations, tons of extracurriculars and classes, private college. The extended fam I spent lots of time with doesn't include many cousins my age either, and I'm no worse for the wear for it.

I've always said there are two types of onlies: the independent kind and the spoiled brat kind. If you can avoid the spoiling/entitlement, make your kid accomplish some things (or handle a few problems) on their own without running to fix them yourself, you run a pretty good chance of raising the independent kind.

Having an adult sibling I think would be nice, but I sure didn't miss it as a kid. All that said, DH has a great relationship with his 1 sibling, so we'll have more than one as long as my bod cooperates.

Edit: quote box fail

leoandethansmom · August 2014

twoandthrough said:

Cheekers2010 said:

Well, I never wanted kids at all. Lol. Then when I got pregnant with DS I swore I was one and done. However, he turned out so awesome that I thought why not give it one more go. So here we are. And this is definitely it for us. I still hope we haven't made a mistake by trying to turn our happy trio into a quartet.

I could have written this word for word.

I third this.

Spartanmama722 · August 2014

This is #3 and probably our last. This pregnancy has been hard and right now I never want to do it again (and DH agrees). We won't do anything permanent for a few years though, so that gives us time to either change our minds or solidify that three is the right number for us.

BrideLinds · August 2014

We are thinking 3 bit will reevaluate after this 2nd one comes.

taylojade57 · August 2014

DH wants 12 (yes, twelve). I let him know veryyyy early on in the relationship that not all of them would be coming out of me. I feel very strongly about adoption, so no matter how many he wanted, some of them would be adopted. So we don't have a set number on birth vs adopted kids, we just know that we want a huge family.
We are in our early/mid 20's so we have plenty of time. We are open to adopting any age kids, at any age. So even though when we are 50, we might have 10 kids, the oldest will be almost 30, and we might have an adopted teenager. So basically, we want a huge family, but it doesn't have to be all at once. God will give us the right kids at the right time.

Prinycesa07 · August 2014

3.

allonsyalonso · August 2014

Before getting pregnant with my son, I wanted 4. Now I'm pregnant with our daughter and I think we're done. Being pregnant is very hard for me. I know that so many have it worse, but I had two overnights due to early contractions and two ER trips with DS and one of those was due to a migraine that presented like a stroke. This time I'm still struggling with morning sickness and I've also become asthmatic.

We won't make any permanent decisions until I hit my arbitrary cut off age of 35 (at which point DH will be 42) and if we wound up with a surprise third, that baby would be very welcome in our home. I just refuse to become intentionally pregnant again. DH feels the same way. He hates how much he has to worry about my health and very much appreciates what I've gone through to grow our family.

nashamber · August 2014

My husband, myself, and our financial planner agreed on two. We both are the typical Type A planner type of people and since the cost of living in Hawaii is riiiiiidiculous we needed to take that along with the cost of education into consideration.

haleyusf · August 2014

After DS, I swore I was one and done. Then I met SO... we're planning on one more after this one, so a total of 3, but we'll see how it goes.

brittandjp · August 2014

We're really struggling with this one. I always said 3, DH said 2 possibly 3.

In my perfect world, I always wanted two girls and a boy. Now I have my two girls, so I *think* I'd be willing to go for a 3rd, but 1st tri+ was more challenging this time and I'm not 100% sure I want to do that again. DH is really on the fence about it, financially. He wants to be able to travel with the girls, pay for college educations, etc. and feels like it will be more difficult with a third. BUT he's also really struggling with the idea of never having a boy.

We're not jumping to any permanent decisions now and instead plan to wait 2-3 years and decide then. If at that point we don't want more kids, then DH will get snipped.

marriedinaugust · August 2014

I always said I wanted a bunch but I think 3 will be good. (I'm one of 5, my mom is one of 8 and my dad is one of 6.) My husband wants 2, that's what his parents wanted too and they got a bonus baby (twins) and ended up with 3. DH said 3 would be great if there were twins. Then we had DS and he is awesome but crazy. DH said that if this baby is a boy we are done because he's not sure we can handle 3 boys. Luckily it's a girl (which he really wanted) so he is open to having one more. I will laugh like hell if we end up with twin boys next time.

colliebabe · August 2014

I'm pretty sure two is our number. Even if this one is another girl, we would decide based on whether or not we wanted another baby and wouldn't be "trying for a boy."

riansmommie · August 2014

We are on #3 and will be taking a break after this one, but will for sure have 1 more. But if I get my way we will have at least 5

. I've always wanted a big family.

SereJane · August 2014

We want 3 or 4 although we don't have any yet. We'll see how we do with twins before we decide to have any more

mrsshour · August 2014

DH and I both want 4. Naturally. Then after the 4 we want to do foster care/adoption for another few (not sure how many, we will see when the time comes). We both want a big family and we both want to give homes to children who don't have them. So this is our plan for now

byrne15 · August 2014

I always thought 2-3

DH always thought 3-4

We both are getting our way and this one (#3) will be our last!

Cconway7 · August 2014

Two! This is our first so we would love to have one more after our baby girl. We will need a bigger house before number 2, but that's all set in our plans.

Crystal7perry · August 2014

I come from a family of 4 kids and had so much fun growing up that I would love to have 4 but I just don't think that's realistic for us financially. So I'm setting my hopes on 3. DH comes from a family of 2 and has always said he wanted 2. This is #2 for us and I'm about 95% sure we are having a second boy (we are officially team green but I educated myself before the a/s and there were no girl parts to be seen, just dangly bits) and I'm really not ready to let go of not having a daughter yet so I'm hoping I can convince DH to have one more.

JToll · August 2014

We never through we could have children after DH injury in the war. But god has blessed us with a little girl. We don't have a number all we want is a healthy family

haleyusf · August 2014

@BoxerLove1983 -- I know several couples that struggled with infertility for years before conceiving through IVF or other means only to have a surprise pregnancy soon after their first. One of my good friends tried for 6 years for #1 and didn't start birth control after b/c she thought it wasn't necessary. She was 4 months pregnant with #2 before she found out since she didn't think it could happen. Here's hoping that you're similarly blessed after this little one if that's what your family wants!

2bwritten · August 2014

We've always talked about two and I'm still sticking with two, but I have a feeling DH is starting to lean towards more so I'm curious what he'll say when we talk about it again...if he wants to physically have the next 3 or so I'm totally game for more than two

kapio2012 · August 2014

We want 4, but are thinking of adopting. So not sure how that will work out. But we will wait and see how it works out since this is our first

SereJane · August 2014

BrittP10 said:

Anna930 said:
I saw a few posts mentioning that a reasoning for limiting children being financials and wanting to "pay for college." Just going to throw my 2 cents in that while it is fantastic to want to do this for your child, a few of my friends whose parents paid for their college admitted that they really didn't try hard enough in undergrad and had a totally different perspective when paying for further education themselves.

I was lucky enough to have parents that helped a lot, but I still took out student loans and knew what the true investment was in my education. I am 3 years out of college and hubby and I have paid off about 95% of our loans.

Not saying you shouldn't pay for your kids' college - if you can that's awesome, but a student having some loans and working during college is not the end of the world

My husband and I both paid for our degrees ( and are still paying). I don't plan on paying for all of my childrens college education. If anything, I may split it with them. I feel like paying for your own education teaches you the value of it.

Not that I think there is anything wrong with parents paying for college for their kids. Just my personal preference and experience.

I agree with these thoughts. While DH and I are planning to save for our kids to go to college I am not planning on saving it all and paying their full way. I come from a working poor family and I qualified for grants, work study, and scholarships to get through college. Those worked for me and while I hope our family will be comfortable enough financially that the kids won't qualify for grants I think scholarships and working during college are a great thing for students.

AnonnAni · August 2014

taylojade57 said:

DH wants 12 (yes, twelve). I let him know veryyyy early on in the relationship that not all of them would be coming out of me. I feel very strongly about adoption, so no matter how many he wanted, some of them would be adopted. So we don't have a set number on birth vs adopted kids, we just know that we want a huge family. We are in our early/mid 20's so we have plenty of time. We are open to adopting any age kids, at any age. So even though when we are 50, we might have 10 kids, the oldest will be almost 30, and we might have an adopted teenager. So basically, we want a huge family, but it doesn't have to be all at once. God will give us the right kids at the right time.

12!!!! Yikes lol

esr9435 · August 2014

Before I was pregnant, I would have said 3 or 4. However, I've had a very difficult pregnancy and have not enjoyed much of it like I thought I would. The idea of doing this two or three more times is now terrifying.

We'd like at least two, so here's to hoping I can forget all of this once LO is here so DH can convince me to even get knocked up again

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