Nanny issue - how big of a deal would this be to you?

*sparky* · August 2014

Overall I have hen pretty happy with DD's nanny. There have been a couple of minor things I have not been thrilled about but overall she takes good care of DD and DD always has smiles for her in the morning. My DS has not been home with her much but one of the days he was she let him watch tv all day, including a PG-13 movie with lots if bad language. He is 9. So anyway I have been working at home one day a week and stay upstairs 99% of the time to stay out of her hair. Yesterday I had to come down to go pick DS up from camp and nanny was on the deck with DD in her bouncy. Nanny was rocking the bouncer with her foot while texting on her phone. DD was chattering at her and seemed to be not all that happy. Nanny is going "uh huh, uh huh" to DD but not looking up from her phone. So nanny sees me and picks up DD. I tell her I am heading out and go to my car to leave. I can see our deck from my driveway and I see that now nanny still has DD on her lap but is still texting on her phone and not paying attention to her at all. I could say something to her but really I have no way of knowing how much she is doing this when I am not around and even if I say something I have no way of knowing if she will stop unless I out in nanny cams. I think it bugged me more not just that she was doing this the first time but that she started texting again as soon as she thought I wasn't looking. So how much would this bug you and WWYD?

*sparky* · August 2014

Sorry - for some reason I never get paragraphs when I post from my iPad and I don't know how to fix it.

*sparky* · August 2014

I have gone back and forth with this and I understand your point of view. That was where I was at first too. But as far as the "no breaks" she is here 9 hours and my DD is asleep at least 4 of those hours. If she had just stopped when she saw me it would be NBD but she seemed to start again as soon as she thought I was not looking, which bugged me more. My DD was definitely agitated at the time so she should have been taking care of her IMO. And my DS has seen all of the Star Wars movies - this was Happy Gilmore which has a decent amount of bad language in it.

Mustardseed2007 · August 2014

Texting is hard b/c it's hard to control that unless you just tell her no cell phone usage and I think that's kinda hard on a nanny these days. I would be concerned if it's excessive, but as you say, how can you really tell that?

I have a clearer idea on the TV though - the TV issue would bother me, but I would address that with her by actually telling her clearly what is ok regarding TV. Like say no more than 2 hours of TV total (break it up how you will), and no movies with a rating over PG or whatever.

Actually, back in my child care days I remember a mom saying that their child could only watch DVDs, her logic being then she doesn't have to worry about what the program is since all kinds of things are on tv. She then had a little collection of DVDs her son was allowed to watch set aside. Something like that is probably a good idea.

I remember a different mom telling me to "use my judgment" and I hated that. It made me pretty conservative and then her kids got upset that they weren't allowed to watch X and then their mom said "oh I let them watch X"... well...don't tell me to use my judgment then!

[Deleted User] · August 2014

Hmm. That's basically today with DH (sick day for us both).

Ok, swap the 1984 version of Transformers with pg-13, but you get the idea.

BUT, this is not the normal day at home.

The texting wouldn't bother me if she's interacting the majority of the time. The questionable movie should be addressed. That's the easy one- hey, no movies rated of-13.

*sparky* · August 2014

Thanks everyone. I have been flip flopping in my head about whether this is worth saying anything to her about or not. I know when babies are this young it is hard to really do much with them so if she's on her phone a little it should be NBD. I just realized she could be doing this all day when DS isn't there and I would have no idea. Most of the time she just has the baby and DS is not home with her much anyway but I did make sure I set clear guidelines about TV after that day.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

How old is the baby? I'm on mobile so can't see tickers?

snicksnack · August 2014

Not quite the same thing but every new employee I have had, all being college hires, I have had to address the phone issue. There was one employee that I had to ban her personal phone from the office because she told me meetings were so boring how was she to sit through them without texting she is gone now. I had an intern surfing the net during a meeting. I think phones are second nature and we don’t even think about it. I would say to her please no phone usage while she is awake. I don’t care if you are texting etc.. while she is napping, but I would rather you read to her etc.. if she is awake. You are paying her and your child sleeps 4 hours a day.

VOR · August 2014

The TV all day... that one I feel is just an issue of clearer expectations. He's 9 - there is plenty of other stuff for him to do. And the movie? Yeah, next time provide her w/ specific movies you're o.k. with.

As for your DD/ the texting- perhaps address it w/ her directly. Tell her that what bothers you is that she started doing it again when she thought you couldn't see her. I don't know exactly what you'd be o.k. with - but I'm thinking you need to go one step past your comfort level. As in if you'd be o.k. w/ her texting if DD is happy and chill - go a step past that and say "only when she's asleep". Just to remove any ambiguity.

But no matter what, I would stress to her that your DD needs to be her #1 priority when she's there and the fact that DD wasn't happy and she continued to text- that's a problem.

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Nanny issue - how big of a deal would this be to you?

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