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June 2015 Moms
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Ok here it goes...

net_drumnet_drum member
in June 2015 Moms
A little back story in March I found out that I was pregnant for the first time. I was 29 at the time and my DH 27. When we told my MIL she flipped out yelling and crying how we ruined our lives and this is the worst thing we could have done and this went on for a week and I ended up having a miscarriage that week. In August my boss came to me with an opportunity to open another center, but it would need my and my DH to move from Michigan to Florida. This is a great opportunity for my career and it came with a nice bonus so me and DH jumped at the opportunity. We are scheduled to move in December. When we told my MIL that we were moving again she threw another fit and would not talk to us for a week, crying saying we are making the wrong choise. Well I found out that I was pregnant again right after my 30th birthday in September. We haven't told my MIL yet because I know it will be drama. Last night we did end up telling my FIL who is separated from my MIL he was supportive last time. He was really happy when we told him over dinner, but then sent me a tx at midnight stating that he'd been crying since we left that he is worried that it's going to be harder than we thought to move. Now WTF can't I just get support... I feel really guilty now, but this is a once in a lifetime career opportunity. I am so stressed and we haven't even told MIL who is really gonna flip. Anyone have any advice?
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Re: Ok here it goes...

  • cpelusocpeluso member
    It seems like your MIL flips no matter what you do, so try not to stress. I'd probably say something harsh and rude but I know that won't help either. Maybe tell DH that you need to relax and destress and he can handle his mom. Congrats on the job!

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  • housewifebecomesherhousewifebecomesher member
    Moving is not so bad! I hate to say it but it sounds like a fresh start could be great for you guys! And um, hello! Florida? I'm so jealous.

    We moved when LO was 6 months, and if we can do that, you can definitely move 6 months pregnant.

    As for the family drama, I have found learning to brush off others' opinions and concentrating on my family to be the most successful way to cope with all of the "helpful" opinions and advice people offer. I doubt anyone will be upset when they are holding your beautiful child in their arms!

    H&H 9 months to you!
    Lilypie - (bDmZ)Lilypie - (SUYh)
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  • mrscampos4lifemrscampos4life member
    I think she's over reacting, maybe feeling like she doesn't have a little boy anymore. I think you should do you, go to Florida have the baby. I mean are YOU gonna miss the opportunity to advance YOUR career because of OTHERS? Seriously, you'll be fine. Maybe she's afraid of being alone. Is your H an only child?
    Me 29 DH 38
    Married 07.01.2011
    TTC #1 BFP 09.28.2014 EDD 06.07.2014
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  • KikiCohenKikiCohen member
    Hello over reaction! She's nuts. It's your life and you get to decide what's best. Moving while pregnant is way easier than moving with a baby. You'll be fine!
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  • mommacandimommacandi member
    edited November 2014
    I agree with all PPers (is that a thing?) I can't really understand why having a baby with your husband in your mid to late 20's is a horrible idea and life-ruining, so that would be my red flag that your MIL has some other issue going on. Ultimately, as cliche as it sounds, it is your life and it sounds like you are making choices that will improve life for your family.

    Eta-I lived with my parents while DH was in med school until DD was 18 mos old, then moved 4 hours away. They were really upset at first, and I wasn't overly happy either, but it's really been fine. Everything happens the way it's supposed to. Hang in there.

    Married 10/9/2009

    The beautiful Royelle Marie born 2/7/2012

    Baby #2 coming June 11, 2015 (Scheduled CS)

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  • erbear84erbear84 member
    I'm also agreeing with others in being confused how you're ruining your life by having a baby with your husband in your late twenties/early thirties. It sounds to me that the move would be really good for you and your family.




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  • dkleiddkleid member
    First of all screw your MIL sorry I know that was harsh, but its the truth. You dont deserve to be made to feel like crap since A . you are having a baby and B you have the opportunity to advance your career.  Will it be hard sure it will, but im a firm believe that G-D (or whoever you believe in) doesnt throw things your direction if he/she doesnt believe that you can handle them.  Congrats on both the job and the baby. Your MIL will just have to get off of her high horse and deal with that fact that you both are adults and have chosen something to do with your life.

    Married 11/12/2011
    EDD 06/07/2015


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  • net_drumnet_drum member
    Thank you so much, yeah MIL is crazy.. She seems to think that we can't handle a Career and a family and we won't be able to travel. I don't know why she seems to think having a child is a death sentence. You guys really did make me feel like my decision was the right one. Thank you
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  • JRClaireJRClaire member
    Your in-laws appear to have the emotional capacity of three year olds. So sorry they're being like this. It sounds like it will be a good thing to get away from them!

    Also, where in FL?
    Married September 2012
    Our Little Strawberry Girl Born 07.12.13
    Proud Stepmom to SS Age 6
    BFP 09.23.14 EDD 06.07.15
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  • net_drumnet_drum member
    Tampa area.. we go down Nov 20th for house hunting for a week. When we told MIL of the move she compared it to when DH older sister told her mother she was pregnant at 17... I was like, really come on lady... I am so ready to get way from the drama.. That's all my DH family is and it has stressed me out. I know MIL has an anxiety problem, but she's giving me an anxiety problem.
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  • llivelaughlovellivelaughlove member
    We moved when pregnant with DS around 12 weeks from NC to WA! It was a huge move but it was absolutely fine! You'll find a new obgyn and a new hospital/center/situation for birthing as well. Don't stress! It'll be perfectly fine! Just get some extra help with packing and moving heavy items! GL!!
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  • Katerina&BabyKaterina&Baby member
    edited November 2014
    Oh boy - you really hit the jackpot! First, you, DH, and baby will be FINE! You are making decisions together to grow your family and advance your career - all wonderful, wonderful things that should inspire PRIDE on MIL/FIL's part - not drama. When you announce, be sure to start the conversation with "we are so happy to let you in on our exciting news ..." - that way if she starts to freak out about how you are ruining your lives you can interrupt her and say "why would you think it would be appropriate or kind to say that to us? It is incredibly hurtful that you would suggest that we should regret our baby" - that ought to shut her up. You can also remind her that you two are married adults who are making decisions about your lives together and neither want nor need her input or judgment about those choices - she can either choose to be happy for you or not but her carrying on is hurtful and unnecessary.
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