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Adoption
nlscroggins
member
fundraising- opinions wanted!
nlscroggins
member
in Adoption
I'm just wondering if any of you have done any kind of fundraising to offset your adoption costs? The reason I'm asking is this: my mother-in-law has very graciously decided to help us out by offering to partner with her church in hopes of doing something like a yard sale, bake sale, some kind of meal, etc. where the profits/donations would go toward our adoption costs. The motive of the fundraiser would not be a secret- it would be clearly known that we were raising funds for our adoption costs. When I was spitballing ideas with my best friend earlier, she expressed to me that she thought it was highly inappropriate to do fundraising for this kind of thing, hinting at the fact that it is something that is a personal decision and should not be other peoples responsibility to fund our life decisions... she was basically saying "if you can't afford it, don't do it." I was absolutely taken aback. First of all, it's not like I'm planning on begging for money/donations, and I'm certainly not asking others to "pay for" my adoption. But as you all know, adoption is expensive, and every penny counts. Plus, I feel like there are a lot of friends and family out there that WANT to help, but may not know how, and these fundraiser options are a perfect outlet for that. Also, anyone making a "donation" would be receiving a good/service in return, whether it be yard sale items, a meal, baked goods, whatever. I just have never looked at this kind of thing as being inappropriate, and I was wondering if others view it in the same light? Have you done any fundraisers, and were they well received? Her response is certainly making me think twice!
trying for #1 since May 2012... we're adopting! bringing home baby boy in january 2015!
Texas forever.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: fundraising- opinions wanted!
IMO it really depends on how you do it. Some approaches are more appropriate than others in my world.
Bad way: A family member sent a letter to friends and family stating their adoption was going to cost $30K, and please send money.
Good way: Etsy stores, yard sales, etc.
I think the approach you're taking is fine. People who don't want to donate or participate don't have to.
And I think your friend's rationale is somewhat flawed. You can certainly afford to raise a child, but getting over the hump of the adoption fees is another story. Just like people have fundraisers to help with medical costs after a cancer diagnosis. They can afford the day to day, justnot the medical bills. But as you have already figured out, this is a hot button issue for a lot of people. For every person who will happily donate to help build a family, there's another who will think like your friend.
Also think through how you'd handle a failed match where you lost money if others financially supported your adoption. Not that it's got to be a huge deal but it's worth thinking through.
(FWIW We had four failed adoptions and lost around $30K.... significant.)
I agree with other posters, bake sales, yard sales are all fine. I know I have seen some facebook yard sales that have been to support the cost of an adoption. DH and I considered it, but decided that we are keeping our adoption a secret/ surprise.
I am sorry that your friend was not more supportive. I know the few discussions I have had with a select group of friends who know about our adoption are SHOCKED at the costs. My sister is thinking of international adoption down the line and plans to fundraise. She bought a book called "Adopt Without Debt" and said that it gives you step by step directions on a variety of fundraisers. Good luck to you!
"Even miracles take a little time"