TTC After a Loss

Intro and vent **other people's pregnancies mentioned**

pink*sheeppink*sheep member
edited August 2014 in TTC After a Loss
I hope I'm doing this right...here's my story:
I went to my ultrasound expecting to be at around 10 weeks on 7/31. Found growth only went to 6 weeks but dr wanted to check again in a week. I knew it'd be a horrible week but on Monday evening I started bleeding (very lightly actually) but dr told me to go to er where they confirmed still no growth, so this Wednesday I had a d&c. This was my first mc. Here's the vent, now, everyone under the sun I know is pregnant. It was hard enough after a coworker outed me accidentally and then having to tell everyone about the mc. I would have been closing in on 12 weeks and due 2/27/15. Now every damn story on my newsfeed is someone else announcing their due dates (which by the way are all saying March, and I think to myself, wow that seems early to tell). I thought I was handling this well, but I swear I can't stand pregnant people. I really thought I would be done crying. My heart breaks that we even have to have this group.

Re: Intro and vent **other people's pregnancies mentioned**

  • I am very sorry for your loss.  Like @maryhr1, I closed my FB account, and it made me feel a lot better. We had told our family at 9 weeks, (Christmas). It was my first pregnancy and that very day I started bleeding and things went downhill. I'm afraid that people can be very insensitive, but try to remind yourself that it's not your fault and that having a MC in the past does not determine your future.  Also, I hope that you are getting the support and answers you need from your doctor and a plan for going forward.  I had none of those things, and after a few months I switched to someone who cared.  It was a great thing--I wish I had done it sooner!

    Me (34); DH (35)

    BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)

    BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • Thanks, yeah luckily this was a new (to me) dr and she's been great. I have a follow up this Wednesday, and she said I only needed to be on pelvic rest for 2 weeks, and we want to try soon. The emotional roller coaster in terms of seeing and dealing with other pregnant people was certainly not what I expected.
  • My husband clarified (leave it to him) and she told him she didn't see a reason why we couldn't try but not to have our expectations too high
  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

    I too recently suffered a MMC at had a d&c at 10 weeks. Currently I feel like everyone around me is pregnant. DH and I told our families at 7 weeks, but only a handful of really close friends. My mother on the other hand had told her whole office at work about it. In turn I made her turn around and tell them about my loss.

    I hope you an find comfort here. I know this board has done wonders for my emotional healing. Welcome! (((Hugs)))

    DH & I are both 28    Together: 12 years    Married: 09/24/2011

    BFP#1: January '12 - DD1 09/16/2012

    Preterm labor 31 weeks. Monitored for Hellp and diagnosed with oligohydramnios July '12

    BFP #2: 06/25 - EDD 03/05/15 MMC confirmed 8/1 - D&E 8/4 retained tissue discovered 8/20

    BFP #3 11/24 - 12/15 Heartbeat detected - DD2 07/29/15

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I think @ktlovess said it very well.  It is hard.  It's the hardest thing for anyone to have to go through.  Take time for yourself and focus on healing now. (hugs)
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

  • I'm sorry for your loss. Dealing with pg people and fb, it can all be very hard. I rarely go on fb anymore, I skip baby showers. Do what is best for you emotionally. hugs

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

    image


  • ****kids mentioned****





    I was going to deactivate my acct all together but I'm part of a running group who run for for kids with disabilities, and it's how I communicate with my "buddy", so I decided to just delete the app from my phone to avoid any compulsion to "check" the app. I appreciate the support, esp bc I really didn't expect to need it. I know our time will come (again, we have a 4 yr old), and it's nice to be amongst some very kind company :)
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. It sucks that any of us are here, but I'm glad you found us :)

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


  • I'm so sorry! Facebook isn't easy at times. I'm sorry about the co-worker who outed you! I hope you find the support and love you need here. It's a great group of ladies! Welcome!
    Me: 24 
    DH: 25
    BFP: 1/12/14       EDD: 9/18/14     MC: 1/15/14
    BFP: 5/6/14         EDD: 1/5/15       MC: 5/10/14
    BFP: 12/29/14      EDD: 9/12/15      MC: 1/5/15
    Dx: PCOS - 8/20/14, Hashimoto's - 10/10/14, Gluten Allergy 10/10/14


    My Chart

    image

    TTCAL January Challenge
    image
  • I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.
  • So very sorry for your loss. It totally sucks when that "should've been 12 weeks" mark roles around and everyone else starts announcing. It certainly isn't easy. Hugs and welcome.
    PCOS & ute crew member
    BFP #1: 10/24/2012  EDD 7/3/13, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E 
    DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
    BFP #2: 12/20/2013  EDD 9/1/14, missed m/c @ 7weeks, D&E
    BFP #3: 5/26/2014 EDD 2/7/15, missed m/c @ 9 weeks, D&E- DX Trisomy22
    RPL, Karyotyping, and SHG: All Normal
    BFP #4: 9/6/14 EDD 5/16/15 Praying for our RAINBOW!
    image
    Baby GIRL on the way!!
    **All AL Welcome**

  • I am so sorry for your loss. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
  • Welcome to the board. I am sorry for your loss. It will get easier eventually. Hugs.

    image
                ***TTCAL January siggy challenge ***
  • Welcome. So sorry for your loss. A Facebook break is not a bad thing. I've also hidden posts from friends with due dates that were similar to my own.

    BFP #1: 8/17/13     Due Date: 4/26/14      MMC discovered @ 9w 4d       D&C: 10/2/13
    BFP #2: 12/23/13       Due Date: 9/6/14      MMC discovered @ 8w 5d    D&C: 2/6/14
    BFP #3 8/26/14     Due Date: 5/7/15  

    imageimage


  • welcome to the board. so sorry for your loss.
    image
    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
    image
    • Everyone Welcom
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
    image


  • Sorry for your loss.It does suck that we have to be here, but this board is very supportive.
  • I am sorry for your loss. Welcome.
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
  • I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. There are so many wonderful ladies here. ((hugs))

    ***Warning: Other's pregnancy mentioned***



    know you're not alone. I avoid my FB account on days I'm having a hard time and I work with two women who are pregnant - one of whom tricked her husband into getting her pregnant for a fourth time and seems awful proud of that fact - so I know what it's like to feel like you're surrounded by pregnant women. You're going to have good days and bad days and they're all normal. It's okay to feel how you do, you don't need to apologize. Take care of yourself.
    BFP 3/30/13, MMC and D&C 4/19/13
    BFP 4/8/14, MMC 5/5/14, D&C 5/9/14
    BFP 8/26/14 Due date 5/8/15

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope you can begin healing and moving forward. This is a great place to find comfort - and give and receive support. welcome.
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
  • ****kids mentioned**** I was going to deactivate my acct all together but I'm part of a running group who run for for kids with disabilities, and it's how I communicate with my "buddy", so I decided to just delete the app from my phone to avoid any compulsion to "check" the app. I appreciate the support, esp bc I really didn't expect to need it. I know our time will come (again, we have a 4 yr old), and it's nice to be amongst some very kind company :)
    ***living child mentioned***

    I'm sorry for your loss. I also have an older child (almost 3.5), and am part of a bump-spin-off FB group, where it feels like everyone has already had another kid (or 2!) or is getting pregnant. I'm staying away from that group for now. 

    hugs, and I hope you find the support you need here! I know I have.

    TTC#3: started September 2014; BFP on 10/1/14; EDD 6/10/15
    TTC#2: started June 2014; BFP on 7/22/14; EDD 3/31/5; MC 8/3/14
    image

    CRB (aka L): born 3/21/11 (35 weeks, 5 weeks in the NICU)
    image
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. ((huge hugs))  I use the hide button a lot on facebook when I'm on there but largely try to avoid it because of the additional hurt it causes.  It's a dangerous place with all of the pics and announcements.
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Hearing of others pregnancies is certainly a hard thing at this point.  In time, it won't hurt so much.  Just give yourself time to grieve and heal and know that we are all here for you and completely understand how you are feeling.  Many, many ((((HUGS)))
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS
    6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014

    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope that you're able to find comfort and support here- I've found that these women understand me better than I do myself at times.  Take care and ((HUGS)).
  • I'm so sorry for your loss

    BFP #1 05/03/12 DD: 12/18/12
    BFP #2 05/26/14 MMC: 6/26/14 D&C: 7/18/14
    BFP #3 10/09/14 MC 10/24/14


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