Angel at Daycare, Devil when she gets home! Help!!

Daisy166 · August 2014

I hope this is a stage. Recently my almost 3 y/o DD is a terror as soon as we get home from daycare in the evening. But at daycare she does great! When we get home immediately the whining, misbehaving, throwing tantrums begins. Nothing seems to make her happy. I try to ignore it. Or I'll take her to her bedroom and tell her if she wants to cry/whine then she can do it in her room. She just is so uncooperative! I don't know what I am doing wrong! I don't remember my DS being like this at 3. It's very exhausting, especially when we have just gotten home from work and are trying to prep dinner, etc.

Any advice? Please tell me I'm not the only one?

Thank you!!

ashiscute · August 2014

My DD became much more more difficult after at 3. Terrible 2s were not a thing for her. She started preschool at 3 and she was always good there. They said she rarely cried, was cooperative, and listened. And then she'd come home and I'd think what the hell? I think part of it is they are more comfortable at home to express their emotions. I also think 3 is tough because they are noticing and feeling so much more but still are not able to get their point across.

With DD if she is having a tantrum I say "When you are ready to talk let me know but I cannot talk to you like this". She likes to lay on our landing at the bottom of the steps and when she calms down then we try to talk it out. Things do not magically get better but I think it's best to tell her I understand she's upset but she needs to express it properly. Good luck!

blu-eyedwife · August 2014

My son has always been like this. His daycare providers and preschool teachers rave about how he's so helpful, so good, always smiling, never upset at school. That is not the child that lives with me who whines, cries, and pushes his limits at every opportunity.

His teachers have always said that it's better this way - you'd rather them be well behaved in public and nightmares at home instead of the reverse. And to be fair, apparently I was the same way according to my parents, so I'm probably due for a taste of my own medicine.

littlemurphy2912 · August 2014

I have had this problem here and there many times with my DD who will be 2 tomorrow! She does so well outside of our house with others and is a "perfect angel" as what people call it. We know that she is just comfortable at home and thinks she can act out with certain things and we observe how she is or why she is acting the way she is and we will correct her and there have been many days where she has cried a lot on and off, been in time out for whatever the reason may be, is being told no a lot, having tantrums, and when that happens we just think she's had a long, fun-filled day at daycare and is exhausted and needs to relax and may even get go to bed a little bit early and all of that usually helps. But this only happens here and there. Not everyday. Kids are still at certain ages trying to test the waters and see what they can or can't get away with when at home or with mom and dad.

UMichGirl · August 2014

I just had a conversation with DS's daycare teachers today about this. He just turned two this summer and I did notice a speck of a molar breaking through so I'm wondering if that's what we can attribute his awesome behavior to...but yeah his teachers just love him, he's great, so helpful with the other kids...then we get home and all hell breaks loose. I have no advice. Just sympathy.