December 2014 Moms
kelsz12
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My Mom on Becoming Grandma
kelsz12
member
I really don't have anyone to discuss this with--so here it goes!
When my husband and I first told my parents that we were expecting they were totally elated (this is their first grandbaby). As time progressed (I'm coming up on 21 weeks), my mom seems interested at times but is also equally disinterested. She never asks how I'm feeling or how the baby is and she teased me for being 'weak' and relinquishing lawn mowing duties to my husband at 17 weeks because it started getting way too hot outside. On the plus side, she has purchased some baby items for her home and is helping us purchase a breast pump.
Other than that, her baby excitement stops. She tells others that she's excited but doesn't show it to me. Yesterday she came to my sonogram and at the end she was like 'That's it? Can I go?' I don't know what her deal is. After yesterday my husband clearly saw why I do NOT want her in L&D with us.
My mom has her own life--she is happily married to my dad, they are both 58 and ride motorcycles and are gone every weekend on a fun trip somewhere. Maybe she's too busy to show me her excitement? We've always had an 'off' relationship (she was always the authoritarian in my life keeping me in line, she was never someone I would talk to about personal things) so I wonder if this is a contributing factor.
I am just so excited to be pregnant and wish this was something I could enjoy more with my mom. In the mean time, I am able to keep my excitement between my husband and I, my aunt (she and I have always been very close) and my SILs. Has anyone else had an experience like this?
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Re: My Mom on Becoming Grandma
This entered my mind too
PacoCat33 said:
On a side note: it sounds like she is actually being super involved if she taking time to go to your ultrasound! Maybe your expectations for her are a little too high. I understand your disappointment but it sounds like you were expecting this pregnancy to transform your relationship with your mom.
My situation is a little different, I was always best friends with my mom, and she spent the whole first trimester telling me how fat I was and that I was "gaining weight." (I've always been skinny). It got to the point where I just stopped talking about the entire pregnancy with her because somehow she always tracked it back to me being fat. It just sucks really, I'm sorry you're dealing with the same kind of let down.
One other theory could be that in the old days people just weren't as (this sounds bad but you know what I mean) self promoting as they are now. They didn't have a facebook to post on, and it was so normal to get married/get pregnant that it wasn't viewed as a "big event" like how some people make it out to be. For all you know, she tells everyone she meets about your pregnancy. But it still doesn't excuse the behavior at the doctor's office.
Good luck, I've found it best to just focus on positive people. Some people in my life that I thought would be annoying have turned out to be the best people to share the journey with
BFP #2 5/7/13 EDD 1/14/2014 Ectopic discovered 5/21/13, lost left tube
Referred to RE, blood work done August 2013, AMH 0.27, all else normal, HSG clear
"It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"
TTC Journey Began 8/12
BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis Unexplained
BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole)
BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole)
Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14
~All Welcome~
DH's family was excited but didn't really shout it from the rooftops. I found out that it was them being realistic and trying to not get too excited until we were holding a healthy baby. Now she is their world.
In the end nobody is going to be as excited as you are about YOUR baby, and that is OK. People have their own lives and can be happy for you without bursting at the seams every second of every day.