To me, gender and sex are the same thing. I don't say this to start a debate...but this stems from reading posts about this on the 2nd Tri board & watching people get their eyes clawed out for saying the "wrong word"
Also, possibly another UO...the 2nd Tri board is 90% unhappy trolls. I detest it.
Yes, this is stemming from last nights posts.... And yes it's lame.... But I HATE "andplusalso". It makes me feel stabby.
Alright, here are my UOs about terminology. I hate, hate, hate the word "tit" and so every time someone refers to "Love titting" I cringe. I also don't like "guise" and most misspellings of bad words (e.g. "HOAR" a la O14 last night).
Sorry, bumpies I love who use these terms. I hate them so much!
I would choose Anna over Elsa any day. Elsa was a snob and an awful big sister. Sorry not sorry.
Awww! I just saw Elsa as a very sad person who was so consumed by what was going on with herself she ignored the needs of her sister. I also think it has a lot to do with her parents. I honestly think they were borderline abusive in the way they kept Elsa locked up and the sisters apart.
I would choose Anna over Elsa any day. Elsa was a snob and an awful big sister. Sorry not sorry.
Awww! I just saw Elsa as a very sad person who was so consumed by what was going on with herself she ignored the needs of her sister. I also think it has a lot to do with her parents. I honestly think they were borderline abusive in the way they kept Elsa locked up and the sisters apart.
She totally had some PTSD going on there. Then the parents died? Disney is always breaking my heart.
Yes, this is stemming from last nights posts.... And yes it's lame.... But I HATE "andplusalso". It makes me feel stabby.
To me, it's one of those things that was probably cute and funny the first time someone did it, then just became annoying and overused. I saw what you did with the quoting of "andplusalso" in the flaming thread last night, and I liked it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with planning your own shower as long as you don't get stabby about it. If my sister hadn't said anything about wanting to help I would totally be having a small baby shower/passion party with friends.
YES! Don't be a diva, but who even cares?! Can we get the Baby Shower board in on this?? ...I kid...I kid.
I wish the bump wasn't SO public. It bothers me that someone who doesn't even have an account can look us up and read everything we write. I don't feel like I can be myself sometimes, not because I'm trying to hide behind a computer screen but days that I just want to vent about MIL or DH I don't feel like I can for fear of hurting them if they ever saw. I realize the chances are slim but its always in the back of my mind.
I wish the bump wasn't SO public. It bothers me that someone who doesn't even have an account can look us up and read everything we write. I don't feel like I can be myself sometimes, not because I'm trying to hide behind a computer screen but days that I just want to vent about MIL or DH I don't feel like I can for fear of hurting them if they ever saw. I realize the chances are slim but its always in the back of my mind.
Yes! I wish you had to have an account to access forums.
They should totally make the BMBs password protected. I suggest "MissNachoLoverRules" for our password. :P
I guess my UO is that I don't think I will ever join FB... not because of you ladies but because I don't like people all in my business! I know there are privacy settings etc but I still feel like people would find me. And between this list of people I would rather not be found!
people from elementary school people from middle school people from high school people from old jobs people from my old church ex- husband and his family ex-boyfriends / many guys I dated
I do sometimes feel like maybe I am missing something but I am ok with that!
To me, gender and sex are the same thing. I don't say this to start a debate...but this stems from reading posts about this on the 2nd Tri board & watching people get their eyes clawed out for saying the "wrong word"
Also, possibly another UO...the 2nd Tri board is 90% unhappy trolls. I detest it.
My big thing about gender vs. sex is that I have several transgender friends, in different stages (and desires) of change. The difference between your physical sex and your social gender becomes critical to understand, and for others to understand. To say they are the same is to invalidate their experiences and reality. That causes harm when interacting with them and with societal norms, even if you don't intend it to.
On the other hand, there's no need to jump down someone's throat for an honest mistake on often confusing or misused words. A gentle reminder or explanation of why it is important seems far more effective than the "gee, you're so dumb and now I'm gonna make fun of you" flames that can be shot off.
R.e. TB being so public--I agree. Which is why I also am on the FB group. It's private/secret so I feel more comfortable sharing pics and personal concerns there. That and I hate TB mobile app. I can't access my inbox, I have no idea when people page me. FB mobile is way more user friendly IMO.
(This is also a shameless plug for the FB group. I'd love for more of you ladies to join).
I eyeroll most of the posts about not wanting to join the FB group. You aren't hurting our feelings, or shaming us from using it. Why keep mentioning it? TETO, right?
To me, gender and sex are the same thing. I don't say this to start a debate...but this stems from reading posts about this on the 2nd Tri board & watching people get their eyes clawed out for saying the "wrong word"
Also, possibly another UO...the 2nd Tri board is 90% unhappy trolls. I detest it.
My big thing about gender vs. sex is that I have several transgender friends, in different stages (and desires) of change. The difference between your physical sex and your social gender becomes critical to understand, and for others to understand. To say they are the same is to invalidate their experiences and reality. That causes harm when interacting with them and with societal norms, even if you don't intend it to.
On the other hand, there's no need to jump down someone's throat for an honest mistake on often confusing or misused words. A gentle reminder or explanation of why it is important seems far more effective than the "gee, you're so dumb and now I'm gonna make fun of you" flames that can be shot off.
====
I actually agree with both of you. I think there's a valid reason to make the distinction when people are older and realizing their gender identity, which may or may not match their sex. But babies are not at that point yet, so for them I see gender and sex as interchangeable terms.
R.e. TB being so public--I agree. Which is why I also am on the FB group. It's private/secret so I feel more comfortable sharing pics and personal concerns there. That and I hate TB mobile app. I can't access my inbox, I have no idea when people page me. FB mobile is way more user friendly IMO.
(This is also a shameless plug for the FB group. I'd love for more of you ladies to join).
I eyeroll most of the posts about not wanting to join the FB group. You aren't hurting our feelings, or shaming us from using it. Why keep mentioning it? TETO, right?
I hope you aren't referring to me ... I would love to be a part of THIS FB group... I just don't want to be on FB in general...
My UO is so lame...but I HATE statement jewelry. I just think it is gaudy and tacky and cheap looking. It reminds me of dress up jewelry for little girls. I hate it. The bigger and more colorful it is, the more I hate it.
To me, this:
Looks just like this:
It just isn't my thing. Not hating on people who love it, some of my favorite people do, I just hate it.
I hope you aren't referring to me ... I would love to be a part of THIS FB group... I just don't want to be on FB in general...
@wildflower75 I was using "you" in the general sense - there are some people that have said more than once that they have no desire because it is all people they've never seen post. That just irks me!
I get that FB isn't for everyone. I have my privacy settings pretty tight. I can be found, yes, but you can't see much.
Like PP said, I feel like TB is much less private.
Oh my - I have so many its hard to choose just one. But this weeks UO is brought to you by the native Californian in me ... I have heard people refer to California as Cali on numerous occasions this week and I cringe every time. I also disdain "Frisco" for San Francisco.
I wish to God people would stop looking st me and saying 'you look so tired'. First off, I flipping know this. Secondly, why aren't you telling DH that? He looks tired too. And lastly, why must you comment on my looks at all?!?! Seriously, I think i will be tired for the rest of my life. Please tell me I look like a sexy goddess. I know you are lying, but it sounds so much better.
Why do people not think before they speak?? I always respond with "Thanks, that makes me feel good." when people say I look tired. DH says I should say "Thanks, you look like sh&* too."
You should respond with "Yeah, I just had a baby. What's your excuse?"
@MindyandRyan thanks for the FB group shout out. I always like to hear that I am a regular (or at least a semi-regular)...like I belong here!
@chmwilliams...I agree. People are saying that to me too, so annoying. I would be even more annoyed in your situation and you have every right to be exhausted, although I'm sure you look sexy and fabulous.
I hate the whole regular vs non-regular TB people thing. And then I sit and wonder every time I post something if someone is thinking, "Who the f*** is that?", since I don't like mobile bumping and I really only get to come on here when I'm at work, which is not how I'm supposed to be spending my days.
I always love the genderbread person. It's like, if you can't understand the difference people are trying to highlight after look at it, you're either ignorant or you have your own agenda that your boy is NOT going to play with dolls and your girl will only wear pink princess dresses. (So, both.)
I wish to God people would stop looking st me and saying 'you look so tired'. First off, I flipping know this. Secondly, why aren't you telling DH that? He looks tired too. And lastly, why must you comment on my looks at all?!?! Seriously, I think i will be tired for the rest of my life. Please tell me I look like a sexy goddess. I know you are lying, but it sounds so much better.
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
TTC since 2011
Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins!
Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
KUinCBUS People are crazy and good for you!! I always make a point to stick up for myself and the choices we have made about no screen time for DD. It's crazy how people think they should have an opinion about how you raise your child.
I'll never forget 2 years ago seeing a small toddler watching a movie on an iphone in a restaurant and his parents weren't paying any attention to him. I was just sad for the guy. I know TETO but I just feel like they could have been engaging him in conversation or coloring or something else.
We just got back from a long road trip (DH, DD and I). All along the way people were asking what movies DD had been watching or what video games she had been playing to keep her occupied. Everyone gave us this stunned look when we told them that we did not offer her movies or video games in the car. (FFS, she's only 2!)
One woman jumped down my throat about it and told me to go out and buy a portable DVD player. This, when we were only a few hours from home (and had already driven quite happily for 2 days).
So... I don't know if this is a UO or really just a vent but... I don't think screen time should necessarily be the default in-car activity, to me it's really more of a last resort.Of course if varies by kid(s) and age and circumstance (TETO and all that) but truly, I find it odd how many people judged us and / or assumed that a kid couldn't be entertained in a car with books, toys and crayons.
I am SO with you on this! I don't judge parents for using electronics and movies -- and there are plenty of educational games and shows out there, too. I don't necessarily think it's bad. I just think some people rely on devices a little too much and are maybe missing out on other types of learning and development opportunities.
When I was a kid I loved looking around at the new sights when we traveled by car. I'd invent games based on what I saw. I counted things. I thought about words on signs (when I could read). I was never bored and I learned so much from it! (I would also write in the car, draw pictures and sometimes read -- although not that often because it would make me car sick). I'm not sure if I was just a freakish child, but I really hope I have a couple that can be so easily entertained without a screen. (As an adult passenger in the car, I've been trying to break myself of the habit of frequently looking at my phone on long road trips and try to enjoy the ride a little more, too).
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
TTC since 2011
Aug. - Sept. 2013 - dIUIs = BFNs
January 2014 - IVF = 3 freezer babies
March 2014 - FET of AA and AB blast = BFP! Twins!
Nov. 7, 2014 - Wilhelmina "Willa" Suzanne (4lb 14oz) and Ari Jose (6lb 4oz) were born via CS
KUinCBUS People are crazy and good for you!! I always make a point to stick up for myself and the choices we have made about no screen time for DD. It's crazy how people think they should have an opinion about how you raise your child.
I'll never forget 2 years ago seeing a small toddler watching a movie on an iphone in a restaurant and his parents weren't paying any attention to him. I was just sad for the guy. I know TETO but I just feel like they could have been engaging him in conversation or coloring or something else.
I've been guilty of this at a restaurant. DS is almost 3 now and is able to focus and engage with us more but there were a few times before he was 2 he just simply would not let us enjoy a meal, even if we did try anything, so sometimes that was our only saving grace if we were running out to get something to eat. Now he'll sit there forever "chatting" and munching on food.
Re: screen time in cars... I don't think it's the worst thing. I mean, I'm not going to be popping in Sponge Bob while we're running errands but if we are on a 12 hour car trip, a movie or two to save mine and DH's sanity wouldn't be the worst thing.
We just got back from a long road trip (DH, DD and I). All along the way people were asking what movies DD had been watching or what video games she had been playing to keep her occupied. Everyone gave us this stunned look when we told them that we did not offer her movies or video games in the car. (FFS, she's only 2!)
One woman jumped down my throat about it and told me to go out and buy a portable DVD player. This, when we were only a few hours from home (and had already driven quite happily for 2 days).
So... I don't know if this is a UO or really just a vent but... I don't think screen time should necessarily be the default in-car activity, to me it's really more of a last resort. Of course if varies by kid(s) and age and circumstance (TETO and all that) but truly, I find it odd how many people judged us and / or assumed that a kid couldn't be entertained in a car with books, toys and crayons.
I'm not a parent yet technically, so I'm not sure whether I can comment or not, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves. My 2 year old nieces watch DVDs in the car even when it's a 30 minute drive. They also get to play with whoever's phone or watch videos on it in a restaurant.
Again, FTM, so I am probably totally naive, but I am hoping to keep that stuff from LO for as long as possible. I would like to be able to take him on a car ride without having to put on a movie or take him to restaurant without giving him a game or something.
We all did this as children, so why can't it be done now?
Meh. DS watches DVDs in the car on long trips (several hours). We don't watch much TV at home, so I'm not worried about "too much screen time". And from his car seat (rear-facing, middle seat, deep sides), he can't see anything except if there is a big truck behind us.
Re: UO Thursday
To me, gender and sex are the same thing. I don't say this to start a debate...but this stems from reading posts about this on the 2nd Tri board & watching people get their eyes clawed out for saying the "wrong word"
Also, possibly another UO...the 2nd Tri board is 90% unhappy trolls. I detest it.
Awww! I just saw Elsa as a very sad person who was so consumed by what was going on with herself she ignored the needs of her sister. I also think it has a lot to do with her parents. I honestly think they were borderline abusive in the way they kept Elsa locked up and the sisters apart.
She totally had some PTSD going on there. Then the parents died? Disney is always breaking my heart.
N14 November Siggy Challenge - Celebration
They should totally make the BMBs password protected. I suggest "MissNachoLoverRules" for our password. :P
people from elementary school
people from middle school
people from high school
people from old jobs
people from my old church
ex- husband and his family
ex-boyfriends / many guys I dated
I do sometimes feel like maybe I am missing something but I am ok with that!
I eyeroll most of the posts about not wanting to join the FB group. You aren't hurting our feelings, or shaming us from using it. Why keep mentioning it? TETO, right?
====
I actually agree with both of you. I think there's a valid reason to make the distinction when people are older and realizing their gender identity, which may or may not match their sex. But babies are not at that point yet, so for them I see gender and sex as interchangeable terms.
To me, this:
Looks just like this:
It just isn't my thing. Not hating on people who love it, some of my favorite people do, I just hate it.
I get that FB isn't for everyone. I have my privacy settings pretty tight. I can be found, yes, but you can't see much.
Like PP said, I feel like TB is much less private.
N14 November Siggy Challenge - Celebration
Why do people not think before they speak?? I always respond with "Thanks, that makes me feel good." when people say I look tired. DH says I should say "Thanks, you look like sh&* too."
You should respond with "Yeah, I just had a baby. What's your excuse?"
@MindyandRyan thanks for the FB group shout out. I always like to hear that I am a regular (or at least a semi-regular)...like I belong here!
@chmwilliams...I agree. People are saying that to me too, so annoying. I would be even more annoyed in your situation and you have every right to be exhausted, although I'm sure you look sexy and fabulous.
I always love the genderbread person. It's like, if you can't understand the difference people are trying to highlight after look at it, you're either ignorant or you have your own agenda that your boy is NOT going to play with dolls and your girl will only wear pink princess dresses. (So, both.)
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
Bring it in!!
I always make a point to stick up for myself and the choices we have made about no screen time for DD. It's crazy how people think they should have an opinion about how you raise your child.
I'll never forget 2 years ago seeing a small toddler watching a movie on an iphone in a restaurant and his parents weren't paying any attention to him. I was just sad for the guy. I know TETO but I just feel like they could have been engaging him in conversation or coloring or something else.
When I was a kid I loved looking around at the new sights when we traveled by car. I'd invent games based on what I saw. I counted things. I thought about words on signs (when I could read). I was never bored and I learned so much from it! (I would also write in the car, draw pictures and sometimes read -- although not that often because it would make me car sick). I'm not sure if I was just a freakish child, but I really hope I have a couple that can be so easily entertained without a screen. (As an adult passenger in the car, I've been trying to break myself of the habit of frequently looking at my phone on long road trips and try to enjoy the ride a little more, too).
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
I don't think it's the worst thing. I mean, I'm not going to be popping in Sponge Bob while we're running errands but if we are on a 12 hour car trip, a movie or two to save mine and DH's sanity wouldn't be the worst thing.
I'm not a parent yet technically, so I'm not sure whether I can comment or not, but this is one of my biggest pet peeves. My 2 year old nieces watch DVDs in the car even when it's a 30 minute drive. They also get to play with whoever's phone or watch videos on it in a restaurant.
Again, FTM, so I am probably totally naive, but I am hoping to keep that stuff from LO for as long as possible. I would like to be able to take him on a car ride without having to put on a movie or take him to restaurant without giving him a game or something.
We all did this as children, so why can't it be done now?