Would you have a shower? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Would you have a shower?

My mom and MIL want to host a shower for me in a few months (my first baby). I initially said thanks for offering but no thank you. I moved across the country from my family about 10 years ago for work and only am back to visit once or twice per year. I have a very large family (mom has 7 siblings, dad has 8, I am the youngest of 30+ first cousins) and I only see a small handful of them when back to visit because there is just not enough time. The last time I saw the large group together was for my wedding shower 2 years ago. I feel like having a baby shower would seem a little gift grabby considering that I last saw many of these people at my wedding shower. I don't want everyone to think I just come into town for gifts. I went to all of my cousin's showers and loved spending time with them and celebrating their babies, but wonder if it is different for me since I moved away. Now both moms are still pressuring me to change my mind and think it is perfectly ok to have a family shower. Thoughts?

Re: Would you have a shower?

  • No, I'm not having a local shower
  • Definitely have the shower.  These are people who you love and who love you -- albeit from a distance.  They most likely want to be a part of your happiness.  :)
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  • To me, any shower with 50+ guests feels like a gift grab, but if this is the norm in your family, I doubt any of your relatives will feel this way. I just much prefer a shower with only those you are close with. Regardless, I definitely don't think your out-of-town move makes a hometown shower seem tacky!
    [Deleted User]
  • I would still accept a shower and would be happy to attend a shower in your case.
  • I would accept the shower, I don't think living far away is a reason not to have one. I'm also from a very large family, but in my family we don't invite all female members to every shower (a girl marrying my cousin just did that for her bridal shower and it was looked upon as a gift grab). But, if that's what your family does, then I think that's fine.



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  • I'd have one. Enjoy the time with your extended family!
  • I see nothing wrong with having a shower.  People want to celebrate the baby.
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  • I think you should let them throw the shower. Heck, showers are the only time half of my family actually get together. They will all enjoy the reunion and getting to celebrate you and baby!
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