Preschool Switch?

DaisyZH · August 2014

Hi everyone!

I had posted on the potty training board regarding our DS - basically he has made a ton of progress since he turned 3, he is wearing underwear except for naps and bedtime but while he's doing great with pee he has multiple accidents per day for poop. He doesn't seem to physically recognize the sensation because he's always surprised. I will say he's definitely trying.

The preschool he attended last year requires the 3 year olds to be self-sufficient in using the restroom without adult help. We are now 4 weeks out and I feel there's just no way he's going to be at that level. My DH really wants to give him these 4 weeks to see if he can get there because we do love the school, he's used to it and it's connected to our church. If we do not unenroll him this week we will have to pay September's tuition regardless (deposit is lost if we unenroll no matter what).

I found a preschool that will "work with" kids that are still mastering the potty, my friend's 3 year old that is not trained is enrolled there and it gets great reviews. According to the school it's about 50-50 with kids that are trained and those that are not. I feel like this might be a better fit for DS but I of course would need to see it in person.

WWYD - would you try to keep your kid in the school he's used to and take the chance you might have to pull him out last minute or try to secure a spot with the other preschool? Has anyone else had this issue?

DaisyZH · August 2014

Not sure how to edit my post, when I said "4 weeks out" I mean school starts in 4 weeks.

neverblushed · August 2014

Ditto tas1883 on this.

Sometimes a school will have to SAY that kids must be PTd because of licensing requirements. In my state, there's a completely different license for facilities that deal with diapers.

My kids' preschool was one of those "have to be PT by 3" schools for this reason. That being said, the teachers recognized that many younger 3s are not totally trained. They always asked for a spare set of clothes from each family in case of pee accidents. If a kid had a poop accident, they just called the parents to come deal with it. A number of 3 y/os (including my son) started school in pull ups.

True confession: my son had NEVER peed on the potty when he started preschool the week after his 3rd birthday. I sent him in a pull-up knowing that school was morning only, and that he always pooped in the evening. It all worked out fine.

DaisyZH · August 2014

Thank you guys so much for the advice. I e-mailed the director of our current school (school is currently closed so no phone contact) to ask her for clarification on the potty training policy. I also e-mailed the prospective school to find out if they have any openings.

I'll see what they both say and go from there. Thank you again!

DaisyZH · August 2014

Just an update: Turns out the original preschool is fairly strict on the training requirement. We withdrew him (Lost deposit and September's tuition per their policies). We have a tour at the new school this week, hopefully it works out. Thanks for everyone's advice!

DaisyZH · August 2014

-auntie- said:

Have you talked to his doctor about this?

Preschoolers don't ordinarily move their bowels several times a day or without realizing it. What you're describing sounds almost like the start of encopresis. Sometimes kids who withhold stool because they're "fighting" potty training will get impacted and new looser stools will seep around the blockage. Without attention this could get worse and more complicated to correct.

We've wondered about this, because it does seem strange that he has so many BMs. I will say ever since he was a baby he's averaged 3x per day and it's never loose or hard. I don't know if he just has a super efficient digestive system? The other day he had 7 (!) poop accidents but in the last 3 days it's just been 2 x. I think a part of it may be he's starting to go, I realize he's having an accident, I put him on toilet, he withholds, then goes some more later vs. completely getting it out in a diaper.

I am going to talk to his doctor if it continues, I just saw her last month for his 3 year appointment and she seemed happy he was pee trained and said poop takes longer.

heatherwhite1984 · August 2014

I am happy to hear you withdrew him from that program. I am a preschool teacher, and most children are often not potty trained before the age of three. It is shocking how many places have that policy though, which is concerning, because it is not developmentally appropriate for all children. Is this a policy for a children? I am thinking about those with a diagnosis or medical condition. Also, if he went there last year, did they do much work with him on potty training? You would think they would so they did not lose any clients. Best of luck in the new program!

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